A Special GPA Presentation

[Ignavus]

And today on NBC: the much anticipated return of, 'So you're so dim-witted, you not only make bad jokes, but then re-use them?'

[Ravage]

For a lazy guy your run your mouth alot. Anyway I am done wasting my time with you. Anything else that needs to be said will be in your last match. You and Cobra Commander vs Me and heh you'll see that running your mouth to me was a bad idea.

[Shockmeister]

You know, at ffirsst, I thhought thhiss whole 'Cobra Commander' thhing wass an efffort to inssult me. Thhen I realissed; it iss a compliment in dissguisse!

I mean, come on. Cobra Commander; he iss ffaccelesss, commandss an evvil army, and iss drivven mad by power. Who would not want to be him? Ssso thhankss to Ravvage ffor givving me thhiss honour, thhen humbling yoursselff by taking your name ffrom, ehh, a casssette.

[Tempest]

What the Crap?

*Buts a rubbish bin on his head*

What the f-f-fuuucck is going on innnn hherrrrrre?

All I seee is a dummbbbbaassss with a stut-ta-ta-ter. Te-te-te day junior. What the crraapppp iss your deal? You get hit by a moooooving truccckkkk at birttthhh? You start going at Ravage here again and you'll end up in a hospital like The Big Sourse Machine, Sparky, Starscreamer and of course The Heart Brend Kid, Sean O'Con. So shut up, be quiet before I get all of the GPA and kick your trash eating-sh!t spewing-garbage munching-ass licking-d!ck biting gay ol ass back to the dark side of where ever the hell you came from.

HOLLA!

[Shockmeister]

<Judge Death, understandably, recoils in disgust.>

Fffirsst, putting a bin on your head iss dumb. Only a sselect ffew can make thhat look ass good ass it doess on me. And you are not one off thhem.

Sssecond, I thhought Ravvage wass thhe sspeech-impaired one in your party, what withh hiss unemotivve, punctuation-vvoid drone. Evvidently, I wass misstaken, ssincce you sseem to havve trouble, ah, "moooooving" your tongue whenevver it iss in your mouthh. Thhankffully, ffrom what I havve sseen around here, you sseem to almosst alwayss havve it ffirmly entrenched in Vvviewffind'ss rear end, sso thhat iss not ass much off a problem ass it shhould be.

And what iss it withh you guyss? Fffirsst, it iss Ravvage in a handicap matchh. He askss ffor asssissstancce. Thhat iss ssomewhat undersstandable. But thhen you come along and want your entire sstable-load off rhyming ffoolss - and Divvebomb - to do a number on me alone. You do realisse nothhing good can come ffrom thhat, off coursse? Eithher you win an utterly pointlesss vvictory ovver ssomeone who you sseem to vview ass being below you, or you all wind up incapable off eating ssolid materialss, havving ssuccceeded only in inffuriating me. What iss thhe point, vvermin?

Oh, and on a ffinal note...Hosspitalss are ffor people who want to sstay alivve. Why on earthh would I want thhat?

'Holla', I believve iss thhe term.

[Ignavus]

Hooray! We've finally drawn attention of the GPA!

I feel like I'm going through a rite of passage, on my way to becoming a full grown man

So I guess, Tempest, you're Ravaged's "Mystery Partner." Big Suprise. JD is my ally on this one, so if you threaten him I'm in on it too. That may not mean much to you, in fact I expect it doesn't.

You probably look at me and think, "whata stoner slacker little piece of trash i could so totally beat him up without trying." Oh, sorry - that'd be Ravaged's thought process. Yours would involve punctuation.

But that's a wrong assumption, as I've show once before. Have I ever once seen the sun come up? No. Have I ever opted for making dinner over ordering pizza? No. Have I ever been just sitting around and proclaimed, "Lets do something!" No. But that doesn't mean, when I have a reason to, that I won't come for you. So don't you dare say to me 'go back to being a slacker,' or some such wit, either of you. After Overdrive, I'll start working up the energy to fight you.

And as for the archivebowl... I feel as though I haven't said enough about it. So, Mystery Opponent A and Mystery Opponent B, you better watch out! Yah! Grrrr! Me and Mystery Partner A are gonna kick your respective petooties! Yarrr!

Scary, hunh?

I don't know why you guys keep shouting at the end of your pieces, but I'll return the favor.

KKKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNN!

[Ravage]

Sadly you two Tempest is not the partner. I know that makes you sad as he could beat you two jobbers in his sleep with a hand tied behind his back.

I have to say though my partner maybe even more of a badass than Tempest and thats saying alot. But hey you two jobbers will see sometimes wishes are best left untrue.

[Shockmeister]

OOC: Igz? It's 'Khan', not 'Kahn.' You fool. Have you not heard me say it enough already?

IC: Oh no!

*Mock gasp of horror...*

It iss not Tempesst! In ffact, it iss more off a 'badass!'

Well, dang. How are we going to guesss who it iss ssupposssed to be now? I mean, 'more badasss thhan Tempesst' includess about eighty perccent off thhiss planet'ss population. And it could be any off thhem. Could be Barbara Ssstreissand. Could be Jet Li. Could be - ack! - Michael Jacksson on bail. And ssincce it iss Ravvage, affter all, thhat lasst one sseemss likely.

And indeed, wishhess are offten lefft ssolely in thhe mind. I mean, did wishhing evver manage to make you into a man, Ravvage? Or a credible ssupersstar? Doess not look thhat way...