Merry Christmas AWF Viewers! Our AWF Christmas Special: The Best of the AWF!

[Galvatron91]

Reflector: Hello mooks! I’m AWF Announcer Reflector, but you all probably know me as Flec. As the only former actual wrestler on the announcing team, Mr. Reilly has decided in his infinite wisdom that only I am qualified to host the AWF Christmas Special! See, in order to give our athletes and staff time to spend with their families over the holiday season, the benevolent Mr. Reilly decided to produce a “Best Of” show, for you the fans to enjoy. Consider it a gift from the AWF to you, a way of us saying thank you for being loyal viewers and all that other touchy-feely crapola. These matches were selected by the staff of the AWF as ones that stand out as some of their personal favorites. To start us off…well the match that started it all. The kick off to the AWF…the match that put us on the map…the 2002 AWF Royal Rumble!

The One That Started It All - AWF Royal Rumble 2002
Entrants 1 to 10

The lights dimmed to get the raucous crowd’s attention as TFArchive, the owner of the AWF, climbed into the ring in one of his classiest blue suits. Picking up the microphone, he beckoned, “Ladies and gentlemen....but mostly the ladies....welcome to the 2002 Archive Royal Rumble!!!! You know the rules; every 30 seconds, a new competitor will enter the ring until all 100 participants have entered. Elimination takes place when someone goes over the top rope and both feet hit the floor. Now, if you excuse me, it’s time I ready myself for MY time!” With that, Brendan ripped his suit straight off, revealing his wrestling garb! He shouted, “What, you thought I would let someone ELSE win this thing?!?” With that, he dropped the mic and left the ring, and the event was ready to begin.
The lights faded to black and the horn went off, signaling the entrance of #1. The curtains parted...and it was Galvatron91! The crowd could hardly believe that one of the AWF’s heaviest hitters had been unlucky enough to draw #1. Needless to say, Galvy did not look amused, even as he debuted his new “TheGame91” t-shirt. Once he was in the ring, the horn sounded for #2, and Brawn came through the curtain! Still sore over Galvy’s longtime promotion of the “Brawn is Dead” campaign, Brawn rushed the ring with a vengeance and speared Galvy to the ground, pummeling him with lefts and rights. They rolled around on the mat for a few moments before Brawn picked up Galvy and hurled him into the ropes, missing a clothesline before Galvy hit him with a clothesline of his own. Galvy picked up Brawn and scored with a bodyslam, but as he began to put the boots to him, the horn went off for #3.

Galvy looked up in surprise, realizing how little time 30 seconds really is. Through the curtains came a man. According to the lineup card, his name was Wildfire Herald. Silence overtook the arena. Wildfly Merald raised his hands to get a crowd reaction, but none was forthcoming. He jogged to the ring and went after Galvy, exchanging a few punches before kicking Galvy in the stomach and pushing him into the corner. Sterald opened up with a few stiff chops to the chest, then pushed Galvy’s head back and scored with a thrust to the throat. Brawn stood up and joined Wildchild in pummeling Galvy in the corner. The two collectively whipped him into the opposite corner, but as Brawn went in for a splash, Galvy moved and Brawn went right into the corner.

The horn sounded, and #4 Quick Switch rushed to the ring. Seeing the double-team, Quick Switch broke up the action by grabbing Wildmild by the hair and hurling him to the mat. Quick Switch doled out some quick punishment, kicking Merald in the head a few times before Brawn nailed him from behind and knocked Quick Switch to a knee. Wildfire looked up and raked Quick Switch’s eyes, slowing the powerful newcomer down. As Wildfire stood up, Galvy grabbed he and and Brawn and rammed their heads together.

#5 was Osku, who gained a good crowd reaction as he took his time strolling to the ring. He went so slowly that time had almost expired before he even made it there. He casually slid into the ring and hammered Brawn, knocking him to the mat with an elbow to the forehead.

The horn went off once again, and #6 turned out to be the enigma himself, Claypool! Showing off his brand new lime-green skin-tight outfit, Claypool rushed the ring and went at the parcitipants with a vengeance, hitting everyone in the ring at random before he finally settled down and focused on one person, attacking Osku with a vengeance (word backstage was that Osku had been publicly bashing Devastator in the locker room area).

The ring was beginning to fill up as the horn went off for #7, who turned out to be G1 Megatron. A man with a score to settle with some of the bigger stars of the AWF, Megatron climbed in and went right after Galvy, who was tangled up trying to dump Wildfire out of the ring. Megatron saved Wildfire by nailing Galvy in the back of the head, then choking him out with a loose string of athletic tape.

While Brawn tried desperately to eliminate Quick Switch, the horn sounded for #8, and Blaster86 came through! Blaster rushed the ring, and everyone in the ring save a battered Galvy turned and attacked Blaster! With a vengeance, the mob of 6 Archivers attacked Blaster and pummeled him to the mat, everyone hurling in kicks and punches.

As Blaster struggled to escape the beating, the horn sounded for #9. Blaster escaped into a corner and looked to the aisle, hoping for some help. Instead, he got Thundercracker84!!! As Blaster’s mortal enemy rushed the ring, the others parted the way so he could head straight for his exhausted nemesis. Blaster leaned in the corner, barely able to stand. Thundercracker wound up to punch Blaster square in the face, but at the last instant, he turned and leveled Claypool instead! Leaving Blaster, TCracker turned and began to attack everyone ELSE who had pummeled Blaster! Dashing about the ring, the fresh TCracker leveled everyone in his way, including Galvy (who had just gained a bit of a breather on the ring apron).

The horn went off for #10, and it was the promising newcomer BloodRed. BloodRed hurried to the ring and attacked the first person he could grab, who just happened to be G1 Megatron. Across the ring, Blaster was just starting to get a breather when TCracker finally returned to his corner after leveling everyone in his way. Then, after having already saved him, TCracker turned and leveled Blaster with a heavy right hand! Blaster tumbled back into the ropes and TCracker hurled him over the top. As Blaster hung on for dear life on the apron and TCracker tried to push him off, Quick Switch took a bit of revenge for TCracker’s beating and knocked him over, saving Blaster for the moment.
Entrants 11-20

The horn sounded once again and #11 signaled the arrival of another heavy hitter, Angloconvoy. Still bitter that he had lost his job as an AWF exec (read: mod) when he was kidnapped by natives in Botswana, Anglo went straight for Galvy, pummeling him with lefts and rights. Needless to say, the ring was filling up with humanity, with 11 AWF stars flooding the ring. As Anglo continued to pummel Galvy, Osku missed a clothesline on Claypool, who flipped Osku over the ropes and eliminated him! As TCracker and Brawn double-teamed Blaster and Galvy unleashed some of his own punishment on Anglo, the horn sounded for #12, another former exec, Grimlock!

One of the youngest yet most experienced AWF stars, Grimlock grabbed Megatron and scored with a DDT! Before the battle of the sig-artists could even begin, Grimlock picked up Megatron and hurled him over the top rope, eliminating him just like that! Seeing his fellow Overlord-owner in trouble in the corner, Grimlock pulled BloodRed off of Galvy and nailed him with a slap to the face. Meanwhile, Claypool and Wildchild duked it out, and Quick Switch continued to pummel Brawn in the corner.

Lucky #13 was none other than Sprites Touch, who resurrected that legendary Israel-UK rivalry by attacking Anglo and knocking him to the mat with a series of punches followed by a thunderous spin kick. As Brawn fell into the corner, Quick Switch tried to jump and flatten him against the turnbuckles. Brawn moved at the last instant, and Quick Switch’s head bounced off the corner post! Brawn quickly grabbed Quick Switch’s leg and dumped him over the ropes, eliminating him! Brawn collapsed in the corner, getting a breath. His break would be short-lived, as Galvy rushed over and kneed him in the head against the turnbuckle, damn near knocking him unconscious.

The horn sounded once again, and #14 was Cosmotron, a crowd-favorite who gained quite a reaction with his new red-and-orange tights that said “I Got Your Matrix Right Here”across the front. Cosmo climbed into the ring and ripped off his t-shirt, choking out BloodRed from behind. Using the t-shirt a bit unfairly, Cosmo coralled BloodRed and swung him over the ropes, dumping him onto the apron. With a little help from Wildfire, they were able to push BloodRed off the apron and eliminate him. Across the ring, Blaster and TCracker were still duking it out in their continuing feud. And once again it cost them, as it left them open for a double-clothesline from Claypool.

The horn went off for #15, but no one came through the curtain. Just as the crowd had written off #15 as a no-show, the roar of a car engine was heard, and a silver Porsche burst through the curtains! It was Addl’s car!!! The Porsche jetted down the aisle and screeched to a halt at ringside, and Addl emerged from the hot rod! Climbing into the ring after hitting the auto-lock on his car, Addl went right for those who had beaten Galvy into his current exhausted state. Just as Grimlock was about to unload on Galvy, Addl grabbed him by the head and hurled him over the top rope, eliminating him just like that! Addl extended a hand and helped his fellow Triumverate member to his feet, then went for the man who had started the match with Galvy, Brawn. Addl and Galvy locked hands and scored with a double-clothesline, then a double-elbow. Before long, Addl was holding Brawn over his knee, and Galvy was flying off the second rope with a Demolition-like elbow to the throat!

As this punishment continued, #16 was called...and it was Stuart Denyer! Denyer took his sweet time getting to the ring, not particularly interested in the punishment Addl and Galvy were doling out. He sneaked up and thought about leveling Addl from behind, but thought better of it and stepped away, allowing Addl and Galvy together to pick up Brawn and dump him over the top, eliminating him! Instead, Denyer went after Claypool, instigating the ultimate clash of reason and lack thereof. While Cosmo and Sprites Touch tangled in the corner, Addl and Galvy headed across the ring for TCracker and Blaster, nailing them both with stiff punches to the face. Sprites Touch and Wildfire broke that up by attacking Galvy and Addl, but as those four duked it out, Blaster and TCracker exchanged looks as they laid on the mat battered. It seemed that they had finally realized that if they did not work together, it would be curtains rather quickly.

The unfortunate victim of their teamwork was #17, Strafefox64. As soon as Fox entered the ring, TCracker and Blaster jumped him, battering him into a corner with punches and kicks. A master of speed and agility, Fox escaped the double-team, hopping up onto the top turnbuckle, kicked both opponents in the face and jumped into the center of the ring, nailing Wildfire with a double-axehandle.

As Sprites Touch struggled to get Cosmotron over the top rope, the horn sounded and Starscreamer came through the curtains as #18. One of the leaders of the TransFans faction of the AWF, Starscreamer went after Cosmotron, whom Starscreamer felt spent a bit too much time with his AWF friends and not enough with his longtime TransFans buddies. Cosmotron returned the shots, and the two traded punches until Addl and Galvy came along and bashed their heads together.

#19 was none other than Windcharger, the 2001 AWF Rookie of the Year. Windcharger went right after the exhausted Wildfire Herald, who had been in the ring longer than anyone save Galvy. Following a boot to the midsection and a spinning neckbreaker, Windcharger scored with a two-footed dropkick, knocking Wildfire over the ropes to eliminate him! Windcharger barely had time to celebrate the elimination before TCracker and Blaster, working together, double-teamed and pummeled him.

Just as Windcharger was in real trouble, the horn went off for #20, and TFArchive, a.k.a. Brendan, entered the fray! The owner of the AWF, always out to do what’s best for the company, went straight for Blaster and TCracker and bashed their heads together. He picked up Blaster and dumped him over the ropes to eliminate him, and when TCracker tried to gain vengeance with a clothesline, Brendan ducked a shoulder and flipped him out of the ring as well!

Entrants 21-30

The ring was already packed with 10 AWF stars (Galvy, Claypool, Sprites Touch, Cosmotron, Addl, Denyer, da Fox, Starscreamer, Windcharger, and Brendan) when the horn sounded for #21, the newcomer Soundwave4life. Like any Archiver worth his salt, Soundwave went straight after Denyer, nailing him with a spin-kick to the back of the head. When Denyer tried to get to his feet, Soundwave scored with a clothesline and knocked Denyer through the ropes to the floor. While the referees weren’t looking, Denyer did what any smart combatant would do: he slipped underneath the ring and hid, out of harm’s way. Meanwhile, Brendan was busy manhandling Claypool while Cosmotron unleashed a series of judo chops on Starscreamer.

#22 was Blitzwing 2, who was returning to the AWF after a lengthy absence. Blitz grabbed Addl and, before the German even knew what was happening, nailed him with a stunning hurricanrana. Galvy dove in and hit Blitz to break up the assault, but obvious damage was done to Addl. Across the ring, Sprites Touch and the Fox were struggling near the ropes when the ever-crafty Windcharger snuck up from nowhere, lowered himself for leverage, and dumped both Archive veterans over the ropes and out of the match! Meanwhile, Cosmotron came stumbling off the ropes and walked right into Starscreamer’s patented Rainbow Kick (a version of a little Shawn Michaels chin music)! Cosmo stumbled back into a corner, but as Starscreamer rushed forward for the kill, Cosmo hit him with a boot to the midsection and tossed him out of the match!

The signal for #23 signaled the arrival of S, the mysterious veteran who was met with quite a crowd reaction upon his entrance. He entered the ring and did nothing, waiting for someone to engage him. #24 sounded for Eternal1, another Archive veteran whose unsightly drinking rages had become legend in the AWF locker room. Eternal went right after his boss Brendan, suplexing him right in the center of the ring. That turned out to be a fool’s ploy, however, as S swooped in and began putting the boots to both men as soon as they hit the mat. Across the ring, Cosmotron, still going strong after some time in the ring, picked up Soundwave and dropped him in a vicious side-suplex. Climbing up to the second rope, Cosmotron came flying off and scored with an elbow-drop and looked to finish Soundwave off until Addl leveled him from behind.

The buzzer for #25 brought Viewfind, the Philadelphia native who’d been out for blood ever since it had become popular in the locker room to call him “only one-third of the man Reflector is”. Looking for someone, anyone, to take out his aggression upon, Viewfind naturally headed straight for the exhausted Claypool, who had been victim of more than his fair share of aggression throughout the match. Viewfind went for a double-axehandle to the head, but Claypool slowed the fresh competitor with a jab to the throat, followed by a headlock and a crushing bulldog slam. As soon as Claypool got to his feet, however, an exhausted Galvy flew out of left field and scored with a clothesline.

The horn for #26 entered Moonbaseone into the fray. He wasn’t in the ring two seconds before Addl leveled him with one stiff German right hand. Before MB1 could even get his bearings, Addl hoisted him up onto his shoulder and scored with a powerslam! #27 was none other than Ravage, who came down the aisle wielding a steel chair. He tried to climb in the ring with it, but as he stood on the apron, Brendan stumbled across the ring and nailed him with a clothesline, knocking the chair from his hand. Out for revenge, Ravage slid through the rope and speared Brendan, raining lefts and rights onto his head. Across the ring, Claypool and Cosmotron were struggling back and forth near the ropes when a mysterious figure that looked quite like Claypool came rushing out of the crowd. As onlookers screamed about “Claypool 2”, the mystery man picked up Ravage’s chair, jumped up onto the apron and nailed Claypool in the back of the head with the chair! Knocked goofy, Claypool couldn’t defend himself when Cosmotron hit him with a clothesline and sent him over the ropes and out!

Just as that happened, the horn went off for #28, Laser Rod Optimus Prime, the second member of the TransFans Alliance (after Starscreamer) to enter the fray. Before he even got to the ring, however, competitors were falling left and right. As S desperately tried to dump Galvy over the top, Addl snuck up and grabbed S’s leg, flipping HIM out of the match! Across the ring, MB1 tried a hurricanrana on Blitzwing 2, but Blitz caught him in midair, spun around 180 degrees, and dumped MB1 over the ropes and out! This victory was short-lived, however, as the opportunistic Windcharger pulled some brass knuckles from his legendary Subspace Pants and leveled Blitzwing 2, knocking him clean over the ropes!

During all this, Laser Prime and the newest entry, #29 (Metal Vendetta), two TransFans members, were both lingering on the apron, avoiding the action. It became clear that a plot was foot when the buzzer for #30 signaled the entrance of Professor Smooth, the leader of the TransFans Alliance! As Smooth rushed the ring, Prime and Vendetta joined him, and a TransFans ambush was underway! With reckless abandon, the three fresh competitors headed for the first Archivers they could find, who just happened to be the unlucky Soundwave4life and Ravage. The three ganged up on the two, pummeling them before depositing both onto the floor! Eternal and Brendan saw this gang attack and, as they fought, Eternal stepped back and insisted that they stop fighting. He pointed to the TransFans, indicating that if the Archivers could not work together, they would be eliminated. Brendan agreed, and while Addl and Cosmotron struggled on the other side of the ring, Brendan and Eternal stepped up to face Smooth and his men. As they were about to fight, however, Eternal double-crossed the owner and nailed him from behind, sending him into Smooth’s waiting arms! Smooth nailed Brendan with a chokeslam, and his cronies quickly ganged up on Brendan and were able to eliminate him! Just as Brendan went onto the floor, Eternal turned the tables AGAIN and pulled off an incredible move, flipping Metal Vendetta and Laser Prime out of the match in one fell swoop! As the buzzer went off for the next entry, the fresh Smooth zeroed in on Eternal, ready to exact revenge for the TransFans!

Entrants 31-40

Though there were officially 8 competitors in the match (Galvy, Cosmotron, Addl, Denyer, Windcharger, Eternal, Viewfind, and Smooth), only seven could be seen in the ring, as Denyer was still taking the easy way out underneath the ring unbeknownst to the officials. As Eternal reached for Eternal to exact some revenge, the buzzer for #31 entered Cryhavoc into the fray. One of the tougher AWF newcomers, Cryhavoc went straight for Windcharger, who had eliminated more competitors than anyone else despite his lack of size. Cryhavoc tossed Windcharger into the ropes and leveled him with an elbow, then picked him up and bodyslammed him with ease. Cryhavoc picked up Windcharger and tried to dump him over the ropes, but the red-clad fireplug would have none of it.

As Viewfind wrapped Addl into a sleeperhold, the countdown ended and #32 came through the curtains....it was Bombshell! A house afire, Bombshell darted around the ring decking everyone in sight. When Windcharger ducked out of the way of his rampage, Bombshell finally found a target. As Bombshell closed in, Windcharger reached into his Subspace Pants once again for a weapon. Unfortunately for him, all he could come up with was his VHS tape of out-of-order episodes of “Family Ties”. Unwilling to break such a memento over Bombshell’s head, Windcharger hesitated a bit too long. Bombshell wrapped Windcharger into a chokeslam position and dumped him straight over the ropes, finally eliminating the underdog. Just despite his elimination, the crowd gave scattered applause for his effort.

The buzzer for #33 signaled the entrance of Sir Auros, another one of the Archive’s heavy hitters. Unfortunately, Auros made a serious mistake by going after Galvatron, who was exhausted yet hardly ready to fold. Auros tossed Galvy into a corner and began ramming his shoulder into Galvy’s midsection, but on the third try Galvy moved at the last instant, and Auros went straight through and collided shoulder-first with the corner post.

At the buzzer, Djar][aCho came through the curtains as entry #34. Djar climbed into the ring and immediately was leveled by Bombshell, who showed no signs of slowing his sweeping attack. He picked up Djar by the hair and tried to dump him over the ropes; Viewfind interfered and saved Djar, and all he got for his troubles was a superkick from Bombshell.

While Galvy and Addl began to double-team Cosmotron on the other side of the ring and Eternal got a breather in the corner, the horn sounded for Computron at #35. Computron gave Professor Smooth a high-five and joined his leader in ganging up on Eternal, delivering a crushing two-man powerbomb on the former AWF exec. Addl and Galvy saw the injustice in the works and rushed over and attacked Smooth and Computron, and just then the buzzer for #36 went off, but no one came through the curtains. Cameras quickly switched to the backstage area, where EMTs were shown taking away the AWF newcomer Tarantulas on a stretcher. Though no one backstage could shed any light on what had happened to Tarantulas, it was rumored that he was supposed to be entry #36. Back in the ring, the action continued as Cryhavoc tried to catch Viewfind by surprise with a clothesline, but Viewfind blocked the move, raked Cryhavoc’s eyes, scored with a low blow, and lifted Cryhavoc over the ropes and out!

The horn for #37 signaled the entry of OmegaDenmad, another one of the newest additions to the AWF. Ever-crafty, Omega went straight after Sir Auros, stunning the faux Spaniard with a shot to the back. Omega wrapped Auros into a sleeperhold and dragged him to the mat. This hold would not last, however, as Cosmotron was quick to step in and put the hurt on Omega. When Omega tried to retaliate, Cosmotron unleashed a lightning-quick series of punches followed by a stunning snap suplex.

When the horn went off, #38 was revealed to be another newcomer, Savannahtron. The ring was really filling up as Savannahtron, in an effort to save his fellow newbie, hammered Cosmotron and pulled him off of Omega. Savannahtron whipped Cosmo into the ropes and jumped, nailing him with a flying elbow as he went by. #39 was none other than Impactor247, a young star who stumbled through the curtain looking like he was drunk! Impactor stumbled down to the ring and rolled in slowly, just trying to maintain. Djar][aCho tried to take advantage of the situation when he saw the intoxicated Impactor leaning against the ropes trying to stand. Just as Djar came flying in with a clothesline, Impactor flat-out collapsed, and Djar went sailing over him and over the top rope and out!

Just when it seemed that the whole rest of the Rumble would be nothing but newbies, the horn for lucky #40 sounded....and it was Prowl?! Prowl rushed to the ring and went on a tear, grabbing Computron and hurling him over the ropes in an instant! Computron’s feet had barely hit the floor when, on the other side, Eternal and Galvy were duking it out by the ropes when Professor Smooth snuck up and flipped both men over the ropes! Eternal fell to the floor and was eliminated, but Galvy held on for dear life to the middle rope. As Galvy struggled on the apron with both hands wrapped around the rope, the scavengers took advantage of a chance to eliminate one of the odds-on favorites to win. As Smooth desperately tried to push Galvy off the apron, Omega and Sir Auros joined in, desperately trying to force the Emperor of Destruction off. After freeing himself from a battle with Bombshell, however, Addl would have none of it. Charging at the situation with a rage, Addl grabbed Omega by the head and hurled him over the top and out and nearly did the same to Auros. As Auros stumbled away, Smooth stepped away from Galvy and begged the out-of-control Addl for mercy!

Entrants 41-50

As the buzzer went off for #41 and Nmathew came through the curtains, Smooth turned and dropped into an all-out sprint, desperate to escape Addl’s clutches. He hopped through the ropes to the outside and Addl followed, the two of them sprinting around the ring in an out-and-out footrace. Finally, the referees stopped Smooth and ordered him to return to the ring, but as he begged for them to let him through, Addl showed up and leveled him with a forearm to the forehead. Still out on the floor, Addl grabbed a chair from the announcers, walked over and bashed Smooth over the head with the chair! Smooth crumpled to the concrete floor, knocked unconscious by Addl’s chair shot.

#42 was Philcom, who went right after the freshest man in the ring, Nmathew. The two locked hands in a test of strength and leaned back and forth until Nmathew raised a boot into Philcom’s midsection, bringing him to his knees. Nmathew released the test of strength, running the ropes and hurling a diving dropkick into Philcom’s face! #43 brought Raiden into the ring, which was filling up once again with competitors. Raiden set his sights on the exhausted Galvy, tossing him into a corner and choking him out. Seeing the powerful Raiden take over on Galvy, Viewfind knew he had to slow the big man down. Viewfind hopped onto Raiden’s back and began choking him out from behind, but all Raiden threw an elbow back at Viewfind’s head, knocking him silly enough to dump him over the ropes and eliminate him. Meanwhile, Galvy stumbled forward and punched Raiden in the stomach, but it was barely enough to slow him down. Cosmotron restored order by flying out of nowhere and nailing Raiden in the back of the head with a dropkick, slowing him down.

BlueBlaster came through the curtains at #44, rushing the ring with a big smile on his face. Blue went right after Savannahtron, who was desperately trying to get Impactor over the ropes. BlueBlaster pulled Savannahtron off of Impactor and grabbed him by the head, burying him with a thundrous DDT! BlueBlaster pulled Savannahtron to his feet and hurled him over the ropes, eliminating him! Across the ring, Sir Auros and Cosmotron were struggling back and forth, both trying to hurl the other over the ropes. Continuing his rampage, Bombshell stepped up and shoved both men over the ropes! Auros toppled to the floor and out of the match, but Cosmotron was once again able to hold on for dear life and stay in the match.

The horn for #45 entered DaiAtlas2000 into the match. Dai came through the curtains pushing his patented tea cart, which he had received as a gift from Shrapnel. Dai parked the loaded tea cart at ringside and climbed into the ring, choking out Prowl? from the apron. Meanwhile, Smooth was just starting to recover on the outside as referees insisted that he return to the action.

#46 was Tigerhawk, the powerful but rarely-seen Archiver. He stepped in and began putting the boots to Galvy, who was down and out on the apron. Tigerhawk tried to dump Galvy over the ropes, but the Triumverate member held on for dear life. Nmathew tried to take advantage of the situation and get rid of Tigerhawk, but the big man would have none of it, turning and leveling Nmathew with a stiff right hand.

The horn for #47 brought in Capt, who went to ringside with a perturbed look on his face. He rushed around the ring and went right after Smooth, obviously irritated that the TransFans leader had been able to get such a break. Capt picked up Smooth and rammed him headfirst into the steel steps, knocking the Professor goofy once again. Capt climbed into the ring and headed for Bombshell, but Nmathew picked him off with a spinning heel kick as he went by.

When the countdown ended for #48, the curtains parted and revealed PaladinPrime, who rushed to the ring faster than any competitor before him. He rolled in and, in only a moment’s time, had grabbed Impactor and hurled him out of the match! Philcom attacked and knocked Paladin to a knee, but the newcomer quickly recovered, crushing Philcom with a low blow followed by a modified suplex.

With the ring overflowing with 13 competitors in the ring, one unconscious on the floor and one under the ring, the TransFans contingent received a boost when Strafe entered as #49. Strafe spent his thirty seconds getting to ringside and checking on the condition of Smooth, who was bleeding badly from his forehead. As Strafe knelt beside his TransFans teammate, the horn for #50 entered Wheelie-2 into the fray. As soon as Wheelie entered the ring, however, Nmathew grabbed him and hurled him out, eliminating him in record time! And the crowd had never sounded happier!

Entrants 51-60

Here's the new installment that's been far too long coming...

The ring was a mess. 13 participants inside (Galvy, Cosmo, Addl, Bombshell, Prowl?, Nmathew, Philcom, Raiden, BlueBlaster, DaiAtlas, Tigerhawk, Capt, PaladinPrime), two outside (Strafe and Smooth), and one under the ring (Denyer) made for a most chaotic scene indeed. The scene only got crazier when the buzzer for #51 brought Sheba into the fray! The first female to enter the Rumble, Sheba more than made up for her lack in size as soon as she hit the ring, leveling BlueBlaster with a hurricanrana! Meanwhile, referees forced Strafe to enter the ring and bring his bleeding TransFans partner with him. As he and Smooth climbed into the ring, they were instantly attacked by Prowl? and PaladinPrime, who did some serious damage to the anti-AWF pair.

The horn for #52 went off...and it was NISMOJOE! As the crowd exploded, the man from Jersey slid into the ring and went right after DaiAtlas, a man known to heckle New Jersey from time to time. JOE took Dai headfirst into the buckle, then climbed up to the second turnbuckle and unleashed ten swift punches into Dai’s chops. JOE climbed down and Dai fell into the center of the ring, hurting badly.

The bell went off again, and # 53 was the rarely-seen Swindle. Swindle took his time getting to the ring and when he got there, he skulked around on the apron before finally joining the action as the horn for #54 went off....it was Cliffjumper! As the crowd reacted heartily, Cliffy rushed to the ring and slid in, going after anyone and everyone in his way. Before Capt could even raise his hands, Cliffy nailed him with a cross-body block, then a running elbow, then picked him up and hurled him over the ropes to eliminate him! Cliffy’s tossing motion was barely through when Sheba struck next, trying to slow the king of sarcasm down. Cliffy would have none of it, and showed no qualms with striking a woman when he spun around and leveled Sheba with a sharp backhand to the face. As Sheba stumbled back, Cliffy threw a dropkick and knocked Sheba over the ropes, eliminating her!

The horn for #55 went off, signaling the entrance of another TransFans Alliance member, Astrotrain99. Astrotrain rushed to the ring and saved Smooth just as he was about to be eliminated by Addl. Astrotrain tossed Addl into the ropes and leveled him with a clothesline, then dropped his massive girth onto Addl’s back with a splash. Meanwhile, in all the confusion, Galvy had been busted open badly by Cosmotron and was soaking the ring apron with the blood gushing from his forehead.

#56 was none other than Computron, another of the Archive’s heavy hitters! Computron stepped in, and right away was hit by Raiden, who bashed him with several hard elbows to the head. Raiden tossed Computron into the ropes, and Computron avoided a clothesline, ran the ropes again, and dove forward, driving an elbow into Raiden’s chest with enough momentum to send him reeling into the ropes. Nmathew took advantage of the situation, grabbing the leg of the disoriented big man and flipping him over the ropes to eliminate him!

The heavy hitters just kept coming when the horn went off for #57, bringing Unicron into the match! The man formerly known as Cyclonus went right for Cliffy, softening him up with a few knees to the breadbasket. Across the ring, Philcom and Tigerhawk were struggling back and forth when their momentum carried them over the ropes, eliminating both men in a weird fluke! Back on the other side, Cliffy slowed Unicron’s attack with a quick thrust to the throat, followed by a suplex that took some of the starch out of Unicron.

#58 signaled the entrance of the charismatic Hound, but the real story was the confrontation in the center of the ring: Cliffjumper and Cosmotron. The two stood toe to toe, eye-to-eye, exchanging words for a few moments. Their battles were legendary, and it seemed time for the latest chapter. Both men threw punches at the same time, both men connected, and both men stumbled backward. Cliffy stepped forward,grabbed Cosmo and tossed him into the ropes, hitting him with a knee to the stomach as he went by. Getting Cosmo to his feet, Cliffy scored with a bodyslam but missed an attempted elbowdrop. Cosmo bounced to his feet, turned around and dropped, driving an elbow right into Cliffy’s throat. Seeing Cliffy writhe in pain on the mat, Cosmo went to the corner and climbed to the second rope, looking to finish Cliffy off. However, Cliffy bounced off the mat and caught Cosmo by surprise, dropkicking him off the ropes and out of the ring onto the floor! Cosmo’s run had been impressive, as he had been in the ring for over 22 minutes, and he received great applause as he left.

As the Rumble picked up momentum, #59 turned out to be a surprise... Seibertron!! The leader, owner, and champion of the rival Seibertron Wrestling Association, Seibertron took his sweet time getting to the ring, soaking in the overwhelming boos from the AWF crowd. Seibertron flipped off the crowd, then took off his trenchcoat and dropped his issues of Penthouse Letters on the ring apron, finally ready for action. Seibertron went right for Galvy, who was still bleeding profusely in a corner after another beating from DaiAtlas. Seibertron pounded Galvy with a series of kicks to the chest and face, but his success was short-lived as Bombshell snuck up from behind and crushed him with a low blow, much to the crowd’s delight! Addl then swooped in out of nowhere, pushed Bombshell aside, and began delivering his own beating to Seibertron!

#60 turned out to be one of the toughest competitors yet... Jetfire!! Jetfire wasted no time, sprinting down the aisle despite all indications that he had had a few beers before coming to the ring. He went in with a look of rage on his face, grabbing Swindle and heaving him over the ropes with virtually no effort! BlueBlaster swooped in and nailed Jetfire, trying to slow him down, but Jetfire would have none of it. He slapped BlueBlaster’s attempted punch aside, wrapped his hands around Blue’s throat and chokeslammed him! As Blue got to his feet, Jetfire grabbed him by the hair and hurled him over the top, eliminating him! Before Blue even hit the floor, Jets was headed for the unsuspecting Cliffjumper with a maniacal look in his eye!

Entrants 61-70

Even after the rampages by Cliffjumper and Jetfire, the ring was still more full than ever. Galvy, already in the ring for over 30 minutes, looked exhausted, as did some of the rest of the field (Addl, Smooth, Bombshell, Prowl?, Nmathew, DaiAtlas, PaladinPrime, Strafe, NISMOJOE, Cliffjumper, Astrotrain99, Computron, Unicron, Hound, Seibertron, Jetfire). #61 brought the second woman of the match, AngelofDeath124, to the ring. She jumped in and nailed Computron with a low blow, but she wasn’t able to hoist him over the ropes. Her brother Unicron came over to help, but Comp’s fellow Briton Cliffjumper intervened and broke that up. Across the ring, Strafe and Smooth were desperately trying to get the hulking DaiAtlas out of the ring. In a desperation move, Dai reached outside the ring and grabbed a tea kettle from the top of his tea cart. Before the referees could stop him, Dai broke the kettle over Strafe’s head and hurled him over the ropes, eliminating him! Unfortunately, Dai made the mistake of raising a hand in celebration, giving Hound the opportunity to oust him out of the ring!

The buzzer went off again, and #62 turned out to be Trailbreaker, who came to the ring carrying a wedge of cheese, rather inexplicably. Across the ring, Seibertron and Addl were caught in an epic tangle, each man struggling to get the advantage of a critical test of strength. The two went back and forth, and Seibertron began to gain the advantage as the fatigue began to show on Addl’s face. Once Addl began to fight back, Seibertron pulled a dirty trick by kicking him in the rocks! As Addl stumbled backward, Seibertron hurled his full weight at Addl, and the two went toppling over the ropes! Both men landed on the apron, and the two struggled to hang on to the bottom rope to stay in the match. Pulling a dirty trick, Seibertron deliberately stepped onto the ground with one foot and pulled Addl off the apron! Taking advantage of the two-foot rule, Seibertron quickly climbed back onto the apron and under the rope, staying in the match!

As the crowd booed Seibertron’s dirty trick and Addl argued with the referees, the horn for #63 went off....and it was Reflector! Flec took his time getting to the ring and slid under the bottom rope, playing it cool. He stayed out of the way when Addl stormed back in, grabbed Seibertron, and powerbombed him in the center of the ring! Referees eventually forced Addl from the ring, but not before he spat on Seibertron’s motionless hide! The bell for #64 went off, but when no one came through the curtain, everyone instantly assumed it was Prowl who had pulled a no-show. Roster checks would later reveal that it was, in fact, Prowl’s place. Back in the ring, Galvy had hopped onto Seibertron and was pummeling him without mercy. At the same time, PaladinPrime and Hound were doing battle on the other side of the ring when the powerful and fresh Jetfire waltzed up and flipped them over the ropes, eliminating both men!

#65 was called, and another AWF heavy hitter Garand came to the ring! Garand hopped in and went right after Trailbreaker, who had been hanging out on the apron eating his wedge of cheese. Garand’s shot jarred the cheese free from Trailbreaker’s hand, and he looked none too pleased about this. Meanwhile, nearby, Prowl? and Astrotrain were duking it out near the ropes when Prowl? pulled a fast one, poking Astrotrain in the eyes and muscling him over the ropes! Once again, the TransFans contingent was down to only one man in the ring, who had already leaked a good amount of blood all over the ring.

#66 entered God Jinrai into the fray, but he barely had time to get his bearings before he was absolutely leveled by an out-of-control Unicron. Unicron picked up Jinrai and tossed him into the ropes, leveling him with a two-handed thrust to the throat. Meanwhile, Bombshell grabbed Nmathew and hurled him into the ropes, but the little newcomer wouldn’t budge. Prowl? caught Bombshell by surprise and almost got him over the ropes, but it was actually Nmathew who saved him. AngelofDeath tried to get involved, but all she got was a bitch-slap from Computron.

#67 was Ratchet, who rushed in eager to compete. Unfortunately for him, the first person he ran into was Jetfire, who leveled him with ease. Prowl? tried to get rid of NISMOJOE with a clothesline, but all JOE had to do was duck a shoulder and suddenly Prowl? was out of the match! Meanwhile, #68 was revealed to be Houbatron, who’d battled health problems to make this appearance at the Rumble. Houba went straight for Trailbreaker, who was beating up his buddy Cliffjumper at the moment. Using the element of surprise, Houba was able to flip Trailbreaker over the ropes and out! Cliffy thanked Houba for the save, and they went for someone else to pummel.

Lucky #69 was none other than Skycat, who went right after the exhausted Professor Smooth, smothered in blood. Skycat tossed Smooth into a corner and leveled him with one stiff right hand, knocking Smooth into a sitting position against the buckle. Skycat took a few steps back, then came running and crushed Smooth’s head between Skycat’s knee and the buckle! Finally, #70 was called...and it was the newcomer Dead Pool! Dead Pool took his good time getting there, and when he got there, he went after Bombshell, leveling him with a spin kick. Nmathew tried to intervene, but all he got for his troubles was a dropkick from Dead Pool that knocked him over the ropes and out of the match!

71-80

(Currently in the ring: Galvy, Denyer, Smooth, Bombshell, NISMOJOE, Cliffy, Computron, Unicron, Seibertron, Jetfire, AngelofDeath, Reflector, Jinrai, Houbatron, Ratchet, Garand, Skycat, Dead Pool)

Just as Dead Pool eliminated Nmathew, the horn went off for #71, and the curtains revealed...Redstreak!! Redstreak’s first order of business was to dart around the ring, reach underneath the apron, and after a brief struggle, pull Denyer kicking and screaming out from underneath the ring! Redstreak grabbed Denyer and rammed him into the steel steps, followed by a trip into the ringpost that nearly knocked Denyer unconscious! Redstreak rolled Denyer into the ring, and the man who had spent nearly 25 minutes of the Rumble in hiding stumbled back in terror. Denyer tried to run the ropes, but Redstreak booted him in the stomach when he came across, then flattened him with a modified version of the Fameasser! As Denyer bounced off the mat, Redstreak picked him up and dumped him over the ropes, finally eliminating him!


#72 turned out to be none other than Weirdwolf and Monzo, a veteran of the sport who only recently had made his way to the AWF. Weirdwolf, usually a solid supporter of the TransFans Alliance, took great pleasure this time in pounding Smooth down with a series of kicks! Smooth rolled out of the way and mounted an offensive, nailing Weirdwolf with some kidney punches and a rabbit punch to the back of the head. This wasn’t enough to slow down the powerful Weirdwolf, who quickly picked up Smooth and crushed him with a belly-to-belly suplex.

The horn went off for #73, and Amnesia rushed to the ring! She went straight for Ratchet, who already looked exhausted as he rested near the apron. She nailed Ratchet with a double-axehandle to the head, then tossed him into a corner and unleashed a barrage of punches and kicks. As Ratchet stumbled out in a haze, Amnesia quickly dumped him over the ropes to eliminate him! Meanwhile, Garand ran the ropes and hurled his weight at God Jinrai, who was lounging near the ropes. The two men both went into the ropes, but Jinrai shifted his weight just enough to dump Garand over the top and out!

#74 signaled the entrance of General Roadbuster, but the crowd’s attention was on JOE, who was desperately trying to dump Galvy over the ropes. JOE actually managed to force Galvy over onto the apron, but before he could shove him out, Flec interfered and made the save. Roadbuster darted across the ring and saved Smooth from a beating from Cliffjumper, leveling the fireplug from behind with a left hand.

#75 brought another female to the ring, Telemosquito! As the crowd drooled, Telemosquito hopped onto Amnesia’s back and dragged her to the mat by the hair, clawing and biting all the way! As the two ladies rolled around on the mat battling, the rest of the competition came to a halt as all the combatants turned and watched the catfight! As they battled, AngelofDeath intervened, tackling the two of them to the mat and turning it into a three-way battle! Deciding that enough was enough, Reflector stepped forward and intervened, pulling the three ladies apart. Rather than insisting that the battle continue, all three ladies began to have words with Flec, seemingly hitting on him! The curtains parted for #76, and...once again, there was nothing. As the crowd became antsy, cameras switched to the back, where Decepticon Megatron was shown taking money from none other than Reflector’s Girlfriend! As D.M. pocketed the money and wandered off, Flec’s girlfriend rushed down the aisle and slid into the ring! As Flec tried to defend himself and insist upon his innocence of any wrongdoing, AngelofDeath tried to intervene to have a word with Flec’s girlfriend. She would have none of it, grabbing Angel by the hair and hurling her over the ropes and out! She turned back to Flec and shoved him in anger, berating the man in front of the world.

#77 was Silly Cow’s number, but the man had enough sense to take his time getting to the ring to let the drama play itself out. When Flec said something wrong, his girlfriend stormed over, grabbed Telemosquito by the hair, and hurled HER from the ring as well! Seeing an opportunity, General Roadbuster rushed Flec and tried to get rid of him, but Flec ducked a shoulder and eliminated Roadbuster! Still on a tear, Flec’s girlfriend returned to his side of the ring, looking irritated. As the action started up again around them, Flec finally seemed to say the right thing to calm his woman down. As they talked and seemed to make up, she finally left the ring, seemingly satisfied that she had singlehandedly eliminated two of the three women that had hit on her man.

As things began to get back to the routine of random beatings, the horn for #78 brought Snake to the ring! Per his m.o., Snake took the full thirty seconds getting to the ring, sliding under the bottom rope only when it looked like no one would nail him. Across the ring, Houbatron and Bombshell were battling it out when Amnesia came out of nowhere and picked up Houbatron around the waist, dumping him over the ropes and eliminating him!

The horn went off again and *Predaking* entered the fray at #79. Predaking entered and went after Jinrai, knocking him down and then nailing him with a flip onto the big man’s stomach. Meanwhile, Jetfire and Cliffjumper were involved in an epic exchange in the center of the ring. As the two exchanged right hands, the crowd’s cheers turned to boos when none other than Rock emerged from the crowd! Rock headed for the timekeeper’s table and tossed the timekeeper aside, picking up his steel folding chair and strolling over to ringside. As Cliffjumper wrapped Jetfire into a headlock, Rock saw his opportunity and slid into the ring, raising the chair over his head. As he swung, Cliffy ducked out of the way at the last second, nailing the unlucky Jetfire over the head instead! Cliffy leveled Rock with a dropkick that hurled him from the ring, then took advantage of the situation and clotheslined Jetfire, knocking the superstar over the ropes and out!!! Referees escorted the fuming Rock from the ring area as he vowed revenge as the match continued!

As all this chaos took place, Death’s Head entered the fray at #80! Death’s Head climbed the ropes and flew across the ring, leveling Silly Cow with a cross-bodyblock! Death’s Head stood up, picked up Silly Cow, and hurled him over the ropes to eliminate him! Meanwhile, Galvy and Smooth met in the center of the ring, duking it out with all their might as blood went everywhere!

Entrants 81-90

Once again, the ring was a chaotic mess. 18 participants filled the ring (Galvy, Smooth, Bombshell, Skycat, JOE, Cliffjumper, Computron, Unicron, Seibertron, Reflector, God Jinrai, Dead Pool, Redstreak, Weirdwolf, Amnesia, Snake, Predaking, Death’s Head) and more were on the way as the horn for #81 entered Blitzwing into the fray. Blitzwing rushed the ring and went right into a slugfest with Computron, trading shots with the Beast Wars fan before hurling him into the ropes and scoring with a dropkick. Meanwhile, Skycat and Predaking duked it out in the opposite corner. Predaking tried to whip Skycat across the ring, but Skycat held onto Predaking’s arm, dragging him in and nailing him with a huge clothesline! Predaking stumbled backward, and Skycat grabbed him by the hair and heaved him over the ropes and out!

#82 brought in another Archive veteran Bruticus! One of the AWF’s original stars, Bruticus rushed in and immediately put the boots to Redstreak, whom Bruticus considered one of the ingrate young punks of the AWF. Bruticus whipped Redstreak into the ropes, but the athletic young star came flying off with a flying forearm, leveling Bruticus with one shot! Just as Redstreak was gaining momentum, however, Dead Pool (another relative newcomer) tossed in a right hand and knocked the co-emperor of the basement to the mat.

Filling out the ring with 20 people was DrizziT at #83, yet another veteran of the Archive wars. Drizzit stepped in and grabbed Skycat as he was about to lace into Cliffjumper. Drizzit wrapped Skycat into a full nelson, then lifted him and drove him face-first into the mat! Still holding onto the full nelson, Drizzit lifted Skycat and hurled him over the ropes, eliminating him! Across the ring, Seibertron was holding on for dear life as Weirdwolf desperately tried to get him over the top and out. Bombshell waltzed over and joined in the effort, but the resilient Seibertron still held on, refusing to fall out of the match.

The horn for #84 brought Zombie Dave, co-leader of the TransFans contingent with Professor Smooth, into the match. The heavy hitters were coming now, and Dave wasted no time in bashing Snake with a vicious right hand as he attacked Smooth. Dave helped the bloodied Smooth to his feet and went after Jinrai, a longtime ally of the TransFans who had seemingly betrayed them to join up with the AWF. Meanwhile, Unicron grabbed JOE by the head and hurled him between the ropes to the outside. As JOE hit the concrete floor, Unicron slid under the ropes and followed him outside, ramming JOE headfirst into the security barrier. Seeing the battle outside the ring, Reflector decided to join in, exiting the ring and bashing Unicron’s head against JOE’s, followed by a bodyslam on the floor.

As the three superstars duked it out on the floor, the horn sounded once again...and another car came through the curtains at #85! It was Jim’s car! The notoriously bad Philly driver came careening down the aisle, his car out of control! He slammed on the brakes and skidded to a halt, but not before leveling all three stars on the outside (JOE, Flec and Unicron) with his two tons of terror! Jim hopped out of the car and stood over the three badly hurt opponents and decided to take advantage of the situation, hurling their unconscious carcasses back into the ring! Dead Pool grabbed Reflector, Cliffjumper grabbed Unicron, and Computron grabbed JOE, and before anyone could believe what had happened three heavy hitters were out of the match!

Jim had barely climbed into the ring after all this chaos when the horn sounded for #86 and Mirage came through the curtain! Mirage rushed to the ring and grabbed the badly injured Death’s Head, hurling him from the match with ease! Across the ring, Blitzwing and Bruticus duked it out in a titanic clash. Blitzwing hurled Bruticus into the ropes and tried his hurricanrana, but Bruticus caught him in midair and drove him into the mat in a vicious powerbomb!

Once again, the ring was filling up, with 19 competitors filling it up. The 20th man this time, and the 87th man to the ring, was none other than.... Stone Cold Skywarp!!! As the crowd erupted, Skywarp tore through the curtains and rushed the ring with a horrible fire in his eyes! As everyone in the ring tried to avoid being the first one in Skywarp’s way, Weirdwolf made the bold but ultimately foolish choice of stepping up to challenge him! Weirdwolf went for a double-axehandle, but all the goateed star got for his troubles was a boot in the stomach and a Skywarp Stunner, followed by a clothesline that knocked Weirdwolf straight outta the match! Racing across the ring, Skwarp nailed Snake with a booming clothesline, knocking him clean out of the match as well! As the crowd erupted, Dead Pool tried to stop the madness with a boot to Skywarp’s midsection. The move only succeeded in infuriating him more, as Skywarp raked Dead Pool’s eyes and nailed HIM with a Skywarp Stunner! The mere force of that move itself was enough to hurl Dead Pool backward over the ropes and out! Once Dead Pool was out, Skywarp looked across the ring and spotted the exhausted Seibertron near the ropes. Seibertron bravely stood up to face the Stone Cold one, raking Skywarp’s eyes and punishing him with several hard right hands.

As those two bitter enemies duked it out, the horn for #88 signaled the entrance of... Brendocon!!! As another one of the odds-on favorites to win it all slowly made his way to ringside, the battered and bloodied Professor Smooth finally turned his eyes to the aisleway, seeing that his ancient nemesis had finally made it to the ring. Smooth visibly thought about running, but even after nearly 30 minutes in the ring after entering at #30, Smooth was not ready to quit. Blood pouring in his eyes, Smooth stood his ground in the center of the ring, waiting for Brendocon to make his move. The polar opposite of the intensity of Skywarp, Brendocon casually entered the ring, poking Smooth in the eye when he went for a test of strength! Showing his might, Brendocon kicked Smooth in the stomach, spun him upside-down, and crushed him with a thunderous Tombstone that knocked Smooth unconscious! Picking up his bloodied, knocked-out nemesis, Brendocon took great pleasure in hurling Smooth over the ropes, finally eliminating him!

Bluebee entered at #89, receiving only a slightly less enthusiastic reaction than the two superstars who had preceded him. Bluebee made a relatively quiet entrance, going after Computron for a bit of a battle. Meanwhile, Skywarp was having some trouble with Seibertron when, finally, Galvatron arrived on the scene! Galvy grabbed Seibertron and crushed him with a DDT, giving Skywarp the opportunity to set him up and score with the Skywarp Stunner! With nothing left to stop them, Galvy and Skywarp teamed together to hurl Seibertron over the top, avenging Addl’s elimination! Their celebration was short-lived, however, as Zombie Dave and Mirage swooped in and attacked to do some damage to the two heavy hitters.

Finally, the horn went off once again, and #90 brought in... Shrapnel! Shrapnel rushed to the ring, fake afro and all, and went right after Bruticus, who already looked very tired. Shraps tossed Bruticus into the corner and scored with the Afro Ram, running and jamming his afro into Bruticus’ stomach at a full run! Bruticus doubled over and fell to the mat in pain, and Shraps took the opportunity to put the boots to the fallen giant. Cliffjumper tried to take advantage of the situation and attack the unwitting Shrapnel, but Shraps succeeded in knocking down him as the horn went off...
Entrants 91-100

Wanna talk some smack? Talk about the Royal Rumble at Seibertron or at TransFans.

The battle raged on as the 17 men in the match (Galvy, Bombshell, Cliffjumper, Computron, God Jinrai, Redstreak, Amnesia, Blitzwing, Bruticus, DrizziT, Zombie Dave, Jim, Mirage, Skywarp, Brendocon, Bluebee, Shrapnel) duked it out. The horn for #91 sounded, and Optimus’ came through the curtains. Another one of the AWF’s youngest stars, Optimus dove in and began duking it out with Brendocon, a battle of the non-drinkers. Brendocon heaved Optimus into the corner and leveled him with a right hand, then began putting the boots to the fallen newcomer.

The horn for #92 brought in Felafel, who made an instant impact when he rushed the ring, grabbed the unsuspecting DrizziT and heaved him over the ropes and out! Felafel turned his attention to Bombshell, who was laboring heavily against the ropes. Felafel grabbed Bombshell’s leg and tried to dump him over the top, but Bombshell wouldn’t budge, holding onto the center rope to keep himself steady. Blitzwing eventually broke up the effort, bodyslamming Felafel to slow him down.

#93 was called...and LordSixshot came through the curtains! Sixshot took her time getting to the ring, taunting a few of the hormone-overloaded boys along the aisle. Sixshot made an instant impact, hurling herself into the ring and leveling Cliffjumper with a spin kick! Meanwhile, Skywarp’s reign of terror continued as he got a hold of Jim, pounding him into a corner. Skywarp whipped Jim across the ring, and as he stumbled out of the corner after slamming into the turnbuckles, Skywarp leveled him with a clothesline and heaved him from the ring to eliminate him!

The horn went off for #94, and Ultra Magnus entered the fray! Magnus rushed the ring and went right after Computron, pounding him into a corner. Bluebee intervened and nailed Magnus from behind, but Magnus avoided an attempted right hand, grabbed Bluebee around the throat, and drove him into the mat with a modified Rock Bottom! Magnus then picked up Bluebee and heaved him out of the match!

Metroplex came into the match at #95, gaining a huge reaction from the crowd! The Dutch star stormed the ring and nailed Optimus’, crushing him with a Dutch Drop and heaving him from the ring to eliminate him! Meanwhile, Redstreak nailed Shrapnel with a heavy dropkick and knocked him through the ropes to the outside. Tumbling onto the concrete floor, Shrapnel landed near DaiAtlas’ tea trolley which was still at ringside. Pulling something from the undercarriage of the tea cart, Shrapnel rolled into the ring, grabbed Blitzwing and shattered a can of Coke over his head! Shraps grabbed Blitz as he stumbled black and shoved him at the ropes, pushing him over the top and out!

Meanwhile, the horn for #96 went off, and mkay0 came through the curtains! Mkay took his time getting to the ring, taunting the unfriendly AWF crowd. Mkay slid in the ring and went after Cliffjumper, pounding him into a corner before a flip that tossed Cliffy into the center of the ring. Meanwhile, LordSixshot and Amnesia continued to duke it out in the corner, the two ladies pounding each other and desperately trying to lift each other out of the match.

As the list of participants dwindled down, #97 was called, and Pun-3X appeared! Pun slid into the ring and nailed Zombie Dave from behind, taking his frustrations out on the TransFans co-leader. God Jinrai joined in on the attack, and he and Pun exchanged a high-five after knocking down Dave. However, as Pun bent to get Dave to his feet, Jinrai pulled a double-cross and leveled Pun from behind! As the crowd gasped, Jinrai picked up Pun and nailed him with a thunderous backbreaker, badly injuring the AWF star! As Jinrai hovered over the crippled Pun, Mirage saw the injustice at work and struck, locking a sleeperhold onto Jinrai! The traitor struggled to get free, but Mirage held on, even when Jinrai stumbled to the corner and crushed Mirage against the turnbuckle. As Mirage held him down, Redstreak stepped forward and put the boots to Jinrai’s exposed midsection.

The countdown expired for #98...and RCOSD burst through the curtains! King Smug rushed down the aisle and slapped a high-five with his partner Redstreak, and the two combined to grab the treacherous Jinrai and hurl him over the ropes and out! RCOSD and Redstreak next turned their attention to LordSixshot and Amnesia who were grappling in the corner. In one swift motion, Redstreak and RCOSD grabbed the two ladies and flipped them over the ropes, eliminating them both! Skywarp and Galvy saw the rampage of the duo and decided that their time in the spotlight was through, attacking the basement dwellers with a vengeance.

As the excitement mounted, the horn went off for #99...and Tarantulas came through the curtain! A slow rumble went up through the crowd, as they realized that neither S-Ghost nor Kickback had come to the ring and yet there was only one slot left. They also wondered how Tarantulas had made it back from the hospital after a vicious backstage attack by an unknown assailant earlier in the night. Tarantulas slid in the ring and walked right up to Brendocon, who could hardly believe his eyes. Tarantulas then ripped off his mask to reveal...Hotdog Divebomb! As Brendocon held his head and turned away in disbelief, Hotdog Divebomb took off HIS mask to reveal... S-Ghost!!! Ghost grabbed the unsuspecting Brendocon, who had betrayed their partnership only days before the Rumble, and leveled him with a right hand! As the rest of the participants looked on, Ghost tossed Brendocon into the ropes and caught him on the way out, flipping him around and crushing him with a shoulderbreaker! Computron then joined his twin brother in beating Brendocon into the mat!

The horn went off for the final slot, and everyone knew who it would be...Kickback! Kickback rushed down the aisle and went right after Felafel, heaving him from the ring! Bruticus struck at Kickback, knocking him to a knee with a boot to the kidney. This didn’t slow Kickback down, however, as he turned just in time to catch Bruticus as he charged in and dump him over the ropes to eliminate him! Kickback then headed for the unsuspecting Cliffjumper as the Rumble narrowed down to its grand finale!
The Final Fight

Wanna talk some smack? Talk about the Royal Rumble at Seibertron or at TransFans.

This, as they say, is where the plot thickens. The final 17 men continued to battle (Galvy, Bombshell, Cliffjumper, Computron, Redstreak, Zombie Dave, Mirage, Skywarp, Brendocon, Shrapnel, Ultra Magnus, Metroplex, Mkay, Pun-3X, RCOSD, S-Ghost, Kickback), knowing that only one would emerge as the first AWF Champion. Wanting desperately to avenge the elimination of Professor Smooth, Zombie Dave rushed across the ring and leveled Galvy with a clothesline. Dave heaved Galvy into the ropes and caught him coming out, scoring with a backbreaker. As the bloodied Galvy rolled on the mat in pain, Dave picked him up and heaved him over the ropes. Galvy grabbed onto the top rope as he went over and slid back into the ring, grabbed Dave and eliminated him! Exhausted, Galvy collapsed to the mat and stayed there, out of the line of fire for the moment. Meanwhile, his Triumverate partner Skywarp grabbed the sneaky Mkay by the hair and heaved him from the ring, eliminating him as well!

Meanwhile, Computron and Ghost continued their double-team of Brendocon. After a combination piledriver, Ghost directed Computron to hold up Brendocon for an open punch to the face. Computron propped up Brendocon as directed, but as Ghost took a wild swing, Brendocon ducked out of the way and Ghost leveled his twin brother! Ghost looked shocked, but as Brendocon stumbled to his feet and Computron rolled about on the mat in pain, Ghost faced Brendocon...and the two embraced!!! As the crowd booed the conspiracy, Ghost and Brendocon teamed up to pick up Computron and heave him over the ropes, eliminating him!

Battles were going on all over the ring. Metroplex and Ultra Magnus were locked in a test of strength, Bombshell continued to hammer away on Cliffjumper, Redstreak and RCOSD were double-teaming Skywarp, and Kickback and Mirage were duking it out. Meanwhile, Pun saw an opportunity and tried to upend Shrapnel over the ropes, but the king of afros avoided Pun’s grab attempt and flipped Pun into a powerbomb, then knocked him over the ropes to eliminate him! Across the ring, Metroplex and Ultra Magnus continued to struggle about. Metroplex picked up Ultra Magnus and dumped him over the ropes, but Magnus held on for dear life and dragged Metroplex with him, and suddenly both men were out of the match!

As those two tumbled out to narrow the field to 11, Mirage pushed Cliffjumper into a corner and punished him with a series of kicks to the midsection. Mirage whipped Cliffy across the ring, and Bombshell caught him as he came across, picked him up over his head, and heaved him from the ring! Mirage tried to catch Bombshell by surprise, but Bombshell held on to the charging Mirage and they BOTH went over the top and out!

After that whirlwind of eliminations, only 8 men remained: Kickback, S-Ghost, RCOSD, Shrapnel, Brendocon, Skywarp, Redstreak, and Galvy. S-Ghost and Brendocon paired off with RCOSD and Redstreak, and the four men engaged in an all-out battle in the center of the ring. Meanwhile, Shrapnel was doing a number on Skywarp in the corner, and Kickback was getting a bit of a rest. Lying on the apron in a heap, Galvy was a mess. The mat drenched with his blood, Galvy had been in the ring for almost 55 minutes, having endured 99 other competitors. Slowly, Galvy lifted himself from the mat, refusing to give in to the pain. He stumbled across the ring and grabbed the unsuspecting S-Ghost, wrapping him up and crushing him with a DDT! As Ghost crumpled to the mat, Brendocon freed himself from RCOSD and nailed the defenseless Galvy from behind with a right hand. Before Skywarp could do anything to save him, Brendocon and Ghost combined their forces to whip Galvy into the ropes and catch him as he came across, dumping him over the ropes to finally eliminate him!!! Galvy had been on the concrete for not 2 seconds when Blaster86 and Thundercracker84 rushed to ringside and began putting the boots to the fallen hero! As the crowd booed their actions, Addl burst through the curtains and sprinted down the aisle to the rescue! He grabbed Blaster and rammed him into the steel steps, then nailed TCracker with a kick to the stomach and rammed him into the ringpost!

The referees on all sides of the ring converged on the assault Addl was dishing out. As they tried to break the battle apart, Kickback grabbed Skywarp and heaved him through the ropes to the outside. Once the referees broke up the brawl and returned to their positions, they saw Skywarp on the floor and declared him out of the match!!! As Skywarp protested that he had gone through the ropes and not over, the referees refused to consult the instant replay and forced Skywarp to leave the ring area! Infuriated, Skywarp leaped into the ring and grabbed Kickback, leveling him with a Skywarp Stunner! RCOSD tried to make the save, but Skywarp nailed HIM with a Stunner! Brendocon and Ghost tried to double-team him, but they each got a Stunner as well! Shrapnel and Redstreak were the final victims, as they were the last to fall to Skywarp’s Stunner! As he stood in the center of the ring with the final 6 combatants lying in ruin around him, Skywarp took in the cheers of the crowd before finally leaving the ring!
The Epic Conclusion...

For a few moments, nothing happened. All 6 men laid on the mat, damaged badly by Skywarp’s barrage. Finally, Redstreak was the first to rise from the mat, as he stumbled over to RCOSD and helped him to his feet. The dynamic duo shook their heads, trying to clear the cobwebs from Skywarp’s vicious attack. The two coordinated their efforts and decided to go after Brendocon and Ghost. Redstreak picked up Ghost and slammed him into a corner, then bent and rammed his shoulder into Ghost’s midsection repeatedly. RCOSD whipped Brendocon into the ropes and leaped upward, nailing him with a flying clothesline. Redstreak pulled Ghost from the corner and heaved him across the ring; Ghost came hard off the turnbuckles, and Redstreak leveled him with a dropkick. As RCOSD worked over Brendocon in the ring, Redstreak directed his tag team partner for a little combination move. RCOSD grabbed Brendocon and tossed him into the ropes, catching him around the waist and lifting him off the mat. At the same time, Redstreak ran the ropes in the opposite direction and jumped, leveling Brendocon in midair with a clothesline Hart Foundation-style!

As the Basement team took Brendo and Ghost apart, Shrapnel and Kickback had both come around and were duking it out in the corner. Kickback tried to whip Shrapnel across the ring, but Shrapnel reversed it and tossed Kickback back into the turnbuckles, then followed it in with a clothesline. Shrapnel tried to toss Kickback over the top and out, but Kickback grabbed onto the top rope and held on, keeping himself in the ring.

RCOSD grabbed Ghost and Redstreak grabbed Brendocon and dragged them to opposite sides of the ring, near the ropes. As they both nodded, both RCOSD and Redstreak went to whip their men across the ring. As they did so, however, Ghost and Brendocon both reversed the move, and it was RCOSD and Redstreak that went careening across the ring in opposite directions. Redstreak headed straight for Ghost, and RCOSD headed right at Brendocon, and at the last instant, both Ghost and Brendocon ducked a shoulder, and both Redstreak and RCOSD went flying out of the match!!!

After knocking down Shrapnel, Kickback came out of the corner and tried to attack Brendocon and Ghost, but the duo locked hands and leveled Kickback with a clothesline! Brend and Ghost shared another enthusiastic high-five, but as Ghost went to pick up Kickback, Brendocon leveled HIM from behind with a left hand! As the crowd reacted in shock once again, Brendocon grabbed the stunned Ghost and heaved him over the ropes to eliminate him!!! Ghost hit the ground hard, but the shock of the double-cross could not keep him down. Shrapnel bounced out of the corner and pushed Brendocon against the ropes, and Ghost jumped up on the apron and dragged Brendocon over the ropes and down to the floor!!! Brendocon stood up and attacked Ghost, and the two battled like animals as the referees pushed them back towards the locker room!!!

Shrapnel turned back toward the ring, and the match had come down to he and Kickback. Shrapnel picked up Kickback and heaved him into the ropes, crushing him with a spinning heel kick! As the rabid crowd went crazy, Shrapnel bodyslammed Kickback in the center of the ring, then climbed the ropes and flew through the air, scoring with a flying elbowdrop that took just about all the wind from Kickback’s sails! Shrapnel picked up Kickback and heaved him over the ropes, but Kickback grabbed onto the rope at the last instant and pulled an incredible move, sliding back under the ropes and between Shrapnel’s legs. Before Shrapnel could react, Kickback was back on his feet and crushing Shrapnel with a boot to the midsection and a powerbomb!!! Kickback picked up Shrapnel and lifted him into the corner, placing him in a sitting position on the top turnbuckle. Kickback climbed the ropes and positioned Shrapnel for an incredible superplex from the top rope, but as they came flying off the ropes, Shrapnel made an adjustment in midair and landed right on top of Kickback!!! As they hit the mat, Shrapnel bounced up to his feet and grabbed Kickback, heaving him over the top rope to win the Royal Rumble!!! As the crowd erupted, Brendan (aka TFArchive) strolled down the aisle and presented Shrapnel with the grandiose AWF World Title belt and crowned him the first AWF Champion!!!

*Cuts back to Flec*

Flec: Now THAT was one heck of a match! Did you see the beatings I laid down on those no-talent hacks! HA! Did you see some of the schmucks in that match? WOW! Talk about memories!
Fast forward to January 10, 2002, to a special moment in AWF History…to a time when I could actually stand the Game…this AWF Moment marked our first main title defense at an AWF PPV…and it led to some epic conflicts and the founding of one of the most notorious factions in AWF History…check it out, from Redemption 2002, Stone Cold Skywarp battles Shrapnel for the AWF World Title!

AWF World Title:
Shrapnel (Champion) vs. Stone Cold Skywarp

Cameras went backstage as the tension leading up to the AWF’s biggest clash to date began to build. They caught up with The Hive (Shrapnel, Bombshell and Kickback) as they stood behind the curtain, waiting for their music to cue their entrance. Bombshell and Kickback each wished the World Champion the best of luck and assured him that Galvatron and Addl would not play a role in the match. Cannibal Corpse’s “Pounded into Dust” began to blare, and with the World Title belt wrapped around his waist, Shrapnel pushed through the curtains with Bombshell and Kickback in tow. The crowd rained a chorus of boos at the trio, who raised their hands in victory and soaked in the hate running through the crowd. Shrapnel led the way down the aisle and the trio entered the ring, anticipating the enemy.

Once again, cameras went backstage and found Addl, Galvy, and Stone Cold Skywarp lingering near the curtains, about to make their entrance. Skywarp turned to the camera and said, “This one’s for you, Seibertron! Once I beat the living hell outta that scum in the ring and take that title, I’m comin’ after you!!!” Galvy and Addl pulled Skywarp away from the camera and aimed him at the curtains as Static X’s “Machine” blasted into the arena. The trio burst into the arena, and the crowd erupted as they knew, just knew, that justice would finally be served. Skywarp ripped off his vest and rushed down the aisle, sliding under the ring and spearing Shrapnel to the mat! Skywarp rained a series of punches onto Shrapnel’s head, who covered up like an exhausted boxer. Skywarp jumped to his feet and ran the ropes, heaving himself onto Shrapnel with an elbowdrop. Sky picked up Shrapnel and pounded him into the corner with boots to the midsection, followed by an armdrag that heaved Shrapnel back into the center of the ring. The champion staggered to his feet and went for a right hand, but Sky blocked the attempt, grabbed Shrapnel by the hair and heaved him over the top rope and onto the floor!

Not one to let up, Skywarp slid to the outside and picked Shrapnel up, bouncing his head off the apron like a beach ball. When Shrapnel did not fall, Sky did it a second time, and Shrapnel slumped to the concrete floor. Well aware that he could not win the title by countout, Sky picked up Shrapnel and heaved him back inside. On his hands and knees, Shrapnel got to the ropes and pulled himself to his feet, only to be clotheslined over the ropes and out of the ring again! Shrapnel hit the concrete back-first this time and did not get up. Skywarp slid to the outside and began putting the boots to Shrapnel, and when his opponent was slow to fight back, Sky could see an opportunity to end it quickly. He walked over and picked up the top half of the steel ring steps, holding them over his head. The referee slid to the outside and got in Sky’s way, and as Sky argued with the referee, Shrapnel miraculously bounced to his feet and threw a dropkick over the ref’s shoulder, striking Skywarp square in the face! Skywarp fell, and the steel steps went with him, landing right on his head!!! The referee turned and gave Shrapnel a verbal thrashing, but Shrapnel was not worried about a disqualification. Shraps picked up Sky and heaved him headfirst into the security railing, doing more damage to Sky’s forehead, which had been busted wide open by the shot with the steps. Shrapnel heaved his opponent back inside and continued the assault, ramming Skywarp into the turnbuckle.

Shraps tossed Sky into the ropes and scored a shoulderblock, followed by a crushing elbowdrop that got a two-count. Shrapnel bounced up and heaved Sky into the ropes again, wrapping him up in a sleeperhold that he quickly changed into a front-face headlock. Losing blood rapidly, Skywarp began to fade, bit by bit. As the referee checked the exhausted challenger, Bombshell and Kickback reached into the ring and provided Shrapnel with additional leverage, much to the crowd’s chagrin. Seeing the injustice, Addl and Galvy rushed around the ring and attacked, knocking Bombshell and Kickback to the floor. A huge battle ensued on the outside, but it wasn’t enough to distract the crowd from what was going on in the ring. Skywarp was mounting a tremendous comeback, having fought the hold back to a standing headlock. Two shots to the stomach released the move, and Skywarp ran the ropes and leveled the champion with a flying clothesline! Blood spraying everywhere, Skywarp picked up Shrapnel and heaved him into a corner, beating him to the mat with a series of kicks to the chest and face!

Now that weapons were becoming involved in the war on the floor, the referee decided it was time to do something about it. As Galvy pulled a cookie sheet from underneath the ring and went after Kickback, the referee leaned through the ropes to intervene but was inadvertently nicked with Galvy’s cookie sheet! The referee fell back into the ring, dazed but not unconscious. Meanwhile, cookie sheet in hand, Galvy freed himself from the melee and climbed into the ring just as Skywarp dragged Shrapnel out into the center of the ring and set him up for the Skywarp Stunner. Galvy gestured for him to complete the move, and Skywarp did so, crushing the champion with the Skywarp Stunner!!! Just as Skywarp bounced to his feet, Galvy stepped forward and glared down at Shrapnel’s unconscious frame. Then, quick as a flash, he booted Skywarp in the stomach, dropped the cookie sheet on the mat, and nailed HIM with the Pedigree on the steel!!! As the crowd looked on in shock, Galvy turned his Triumverate teammate over and heaved Shrapnel’s lifeless body onto the challenger, then took to the aisle, mocking the crowd all the way!!! As Bombshell and Kickback double-teamed Addl on the floor to prevent any interference, the referee returned to the action just in time to count 1.....2.....3!!!! As Kickback and Bombshell hopped into the ring and helped their battered World Champion to his feet, the cameras shifted to Galvy, who stood at the apex of the entrance ramp, mocking Skywarp’s middle-finger gesture for all to see as Sky High Redemption went off the air!!!

Flec: SEE? The Game used to be a quite likable…and all around great guy! This cuts us to a classic piece of AWF History…let’s take a look!

[Galvatron91]

AWF Thursday Night Mayhem
January 17, 2002

Backstage: The Chairman of the AWF - Mr. Chris Vaccaro approaches the entering Galvatron91.

Mr. Vaccaro: "Hold it right there Mr. "game" I want to have a word with you!"

G91: "You want to have a word with me? That's just great... cause I have two words for ya..."

G91 walks away leaving Mr. Vaccaro shaking his head with anger.

We cut back to the arena, "Filmstar" echoes through the p.a. and Brendocon is already stood in the center of the ring, talking to the announcer. Eventually, he gets handed the mic...

"Cut the music." the sound technicians comply "That's better. So happy to see so many smiling faces in the crowd tonight, you all enjoy Redemption?"

The crowd cheers.

"Yeah. Was great wasn't it? Who here thinks that Galvatron91 sucks?"

Again, the crowd cheers.

"Well, I think there'll be a lot more smiling faces tonight, after I kayo that sob like I did to Comps and Casper last Sunday. Y'know, a lesser man wouldn't be out here so soon after fighting two men in the same match... heck, some people are taking the week off after fighting one guy! But, y'see that's the type of person I am... I am the icon, I am the showstoppa. And I'm gonna stop another show tonight - I'm out for revenge for my buddy Skywarp - I'm gonna pull the plug on the Game."

The crowd pops again.

"But, you understand that being the number 1 contender makes me a marked man? I'm the next champion, everybody's gonna be after me. Which means, of course, that I'm gonna need somebody to watch my back for me when I'm in the ring. I know very well that Casper's skulking about the arena... and I know he's bitter that I put his lights out last Sunday... which is why I'd like to introduce you to my insurance policy... Ladies and gentlemen, my new manager..."
Brendocon opens his hand and points up the aisle to the stage. "Material Girl" hits, and LordSixshot strolls down to the ring. She smiles happily at the crowd's wolf-whistles, climbs the ring steps, and steps through the ropes that Brendocon held open. She smiles sweetly as she takes the microphone, and opens her mouth to address the crowd...

"IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!" suddenly blares out of the sound system, and Galvatron91 struts out onto the ramp. As the Archivetron shows stills of his actions at Redemption, he smirks, and taunts the crowd as they heckle him. He climbs the ring apron and does his customary spraying of water before entering the ring.

G91 glares at Brendocon and LordSixshot as he walks over to her and takes the microphone from her hands.

G91: "Go back to the corner little girl before you hurt yourself. And you (points at Brendocon) you keep your mouth shut and I might not beat your ass into the ground when I am done saying what I have to say…"

Brendocon instinctively stands in front of LordSixshot and glares down The Game.

G91: "Keep looking at me like that sunshine, you won't see our little matchup tonight either. You know, all week people have been asking me the same question…just like you are Brendo, (whiney voice) 'why Game? Why did you do it…why did you betray Stone Cold Sky Warp?'"

A 'WHAT' chant begins to come from the crowd...

G91: "You people can run your little mouths all desire, it doesn't change the fact that your precious Stone Cold doesn't have his belt... hahahahahahaha!"

Crowd: "WHAT?!?"

G91: "yeah, yeah, what?!? What?!? WHAT?!? Blah, blah, blah,"

Brendocon: "I have never heard someone run their mouth so much, yet say so little!"

G91: "You got something you want me to say?"

Brendocon: "Yeah, I want to know why you turned your back on all your fans? On your friend? I want to know why you sold your soul? For What?"

G91: "You want to know why I did what I did? Cause I could! I'm the Game damnit... I am that damn good... let's not forget; Mr. Vaccaro did dub me the cerebral assassin! Why do you think I got that title... from being a nice guy? No! Its from screwing with the minds of morons like you, Skywarp and these idiot fans!"

A chorus of jeers and insults come from the crowd, as neither Brendocon nor LordSixshot seems amused by G91's jibes. G91 then moves in closer to the two.

G91: "I did this cause I could... but I also did this to serve notice to the rest of the slack jaws in the AWF... the Game isn't playing second billing to anyone from this point on! Its time the Game changed the rules... its my time! From here on out, I am the show around here... and there is not a damn thing that you or anyone can do to stop me... got that son?"

With that G91 shoved Brendocon back by his face, Brendocon prepared to charge but the Game ducked out of the ring, and began to make his way to the back as the Motorhead began to blare "Its all about the Game, and how you play it." Brendocon stood seething in the ring as G91 exited.

Backstage: Stone Cold Skywarp is shown entering the arena... and he is not at all happy!

Back in the ring, Brendocon grabs the mic back. "Hey, hey HEY! You hold it right there, yanky doodle dandy!" G91 stops, and turns back as the music cuts out. "Now, you come out saying that you're 'the show' around here... now it may have escaped your notice, but I'm the ShowStoppa around here! And what also may have escaped your notice is that you and me are booked for a match here tonight. Why wait for a gap in the schedule? I'm here. You're here. There's referees here. Let's tussle, Game. Right here, right now."

Galvatron91 stares back at the ring, his face caught halfway between anger and amusement. Brendocon ushers his new manager out of the ring, and she assumes a position at the commentary table, as G91 slides back into the ring.

The two competitors stand nose to nose for a moment, staring each other down.... neither blink. They back away from each other, as the referee signals for the bell to be rung, and they engage in a collar and elbow tie-up. Galvatron91 comes out on top, slipping into a side headlock, before Brendocon forces him off into the ropes. As G91 bounces back, Brendo hits the deck, but his opponent doesn't jump over, but instead stops short... Brendocon rises to his feet, and gets nailed with a stiff right hand, knocking him to the mat. The Game picks up his opponent by the head, and lands a forearm shot to the back. Sent bolt upright by the impact, Brendocon suddenly grabs his opponent, and nails him with a lightning-quick belly-to-belly suplex.

Both men clamber to their feet, and Brendocon tries to whip his opponent into the ropes, but G91 reverses it, and lands a rising knee on his rebounding foe. Quickly, he picks up Brendocon and engages a front face lock, but as he attempts the vertical suplex, his opponent slips over the top and behind, grabbing him in a full-nelson and nailing a dragon suplex. The referee drops, 1... 2... the Game forces himself free, and nails his opponent with a thunderous clothesline for a two-count of his own. As Brendocon rolled onto his stomach, G91 took a step or so back, before driving a knee-drop into the small of the back.

Confident, G91 turns to mock the crowd, but is instead greeted with a chant of "What?!" As he shouts them down, Brendocon climbs to his knees, and delivers a chop-block to the Game's left leg. G91 fell like a tree, and Brendocon smelt blood... he quickly scrambled to his feet, grabbing his opponent's leg, and locking on a spinning-toe hold, before quickly turning it into the figure four. Galvatron91 was stuck in the middle of the ring, but rather than give his opponent the satisfaction of a submission victory, he began flailing his arms wildly, until he 'accidentally' pulled the referee down, and on top of Brendocon!

Backstage: Skywarp watches the events unfold from his locker room, face locked in a stoney gaze.

As Brendocon releases the hold in an attempt to untangle himself from the official, G91 climbs to his feet, favouring his knee slightly, whilst retrieving a pair of brass knuckles from his tights... Brendocon pulls free of the referee, and walks straight into a loaded right hand. Suddenly the crowd's attention is diverted up the ramp... as Sixswitch strolls down the aisle, carrying a large athletics bag with him. He looks up into the ring, as G91 sneers at him, and continues around until reaching the commentary table, where he takes a seat next to his manager LordSixshot. Uneased slightly by the presence of the extra man, but unpeturbed, the Game starts stomping on his stricken opponent, before locking on a camel clutch to wear down the back that was injured at Redemption.

Suddenly the crowd goes wild. StoneCold Skywarp has appeared at the top of the ramp, unhappy with the tv feed, he has decided to get a first-hand look at events. After enduring the camel clutch for a good few minutes, Brendocon manages to pull himself to the ropes, and the referee orders the hold to be broken. G91 backs away, and then takes a run-up to deliver a sit down splash whilst his opponent rests on the ropes... but Brendocon dodges out of the way! As G91 struggles to his feet, trying to clear the cobwebs from where his he bounced back onto the mat, Brendocon quickly raises his hand that it's finished, before delivering a knee to the midsection, then grabbing his opponent's head for the Hotdog Divebomb! But Galvatron91 instinctively grabs the top rope, and Brendocon goes plummeting to the ground clutching nothing but air! He quickly scrambles to his feet, and receives a boot to the midsection. Seizing his chance, G91 grabs his opponent for a piledriver, before applying the double-underhook... but Brendocon drops to his knees, and manages to flip the Game over in a short back-bodydrop! Angered, by the inability to hit their finishers, both men charge and hit a double clothesline knocking the other down. After a few moments, the two get back up, stare each other down again…when suddenly Brendocon simply falls backwards and lies on his back! Galvatron91 dives on top of him for the 1, 2, 3! OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL?!?

LordSixshot and Sixswitch make their way into the ring…but so does one very, VERY angry rattlesnake!

Charging into the ring…Skywarp gets some good shots on the Game. Then leaps up to stare at Brendocon, only to receive the HDD! The crowd begins to jeer and the ring begins to fill with garbage! This looks bad for Stone Cold as the Game darts out to grab his sledge hammer!

Suddenly the crowd explodes, and S-Ghost blazes down the ramp, hotly followed by Angloconvoy! The two hit the ring, knocking Skywarp's assailants in all directions. The ring cleared, they go about trying to revive Skywarp, and watch menacingly as the laughing group of Galvatron91, Brendocon, Sixswitch and LordSixshot return up the ramp, joking, and mocking the crowd as they go.

*Back to Flec*

Flec: And there you have it folks…the birth of Degeneration NeXt! Not the annoying one we have today, but the real DN…oh…how I miss them! *sniffles* Fast forward a bit now…our next match selected by the viewers aired on 24 November 2002 at our AWF Meltdown PPV from Pontiac, Michigan. This match was one of the most bizarre and unorthodox matches we have ever witnessed…let’s watch and enjoy as Viewfind battled Strafe!

Hardcore Championship – Rooftop Match
Viewfind (c) vs. Strafe

JHA: “Welcome back you violence-happy filth urchins. Question: Do you go "up north" for the weekends”?
JFA: “Has your child's ball game has ever been snowed out”?
JHA: “When you visit Florida, are you frustrated because the newspapers there don't report the hockey scores”?
JFA: “Can you explain the difference between yoopers, trolls and fudgies”?
JHA: “Have you ever been sunburned and frostbitten in the same week”?
JFA: “If your answer to these questions are; ‘Hell yes J, you freaky sex monster’, then you my friend are a Michiganite! *The camera pans up and over the massive crowd* and the glorious Pontiac Silverdome is where we are at tonight. And boy do we have a special feature for you, because coming up next is the Hardcore title match”.
JHA: “And why is it special you ask? Oh no matter really, apart from the fact that the fight is going to be conducted on top of the DAIMLER-CHRYSLER BUILDING!!!

The fans scream as two medium sized explosives erupt from either side of the Archivetron. The speakers shoot up to full volume so that everyone can hear what is about to happen.

JFA: “So without further ado, let’s join our commentators Linda Lovelace and Kevin Kincaid as they prepare take us on a roller coaster chopper ride circling the rooftop, and the two combatants who are about to get jiggy wit’ it. Take it away Linda”.

LL: “Thanks J, we’re taking off right now from just outside the Pontiac Silverdome on this very cold winter’s night. Christmas isn’t too far off now, eh Kevin”?
KK: “You got that right Linda, and I’d just love to find an official AWF 2003 calendar in my stocking come Christmas morning, not to mention an official AWF home pregnancy test for my girlfriend”.
LL: “I’ve never heard of that one before, how does it work Keith”?
KK: “Well, the rudiments of it are fairly well known to all, but it works by showing a little Cyberstrike if you’ve got a bun in the oven, or an O’ Con for a clean bill of health”.
LL: “Sounds classy. Now getting back to tonight’s match; Its a bitterly cold night tonight, and pitch black also. How will our combatants see each other you may wonder? To answer that, we’ll just cast our belly-copter-cam westward, so that you can clearly see in the distance the DC building sporting floodlights on the roof, with massive police spotlights around the base of the structure, and a heavy Narc presence should our fans get out of hand at the thought of being in such close proximity to two heavyweight wrestlers”.

*The chopper soars forward into the blackness, the Auburn hills loom like the wraiths of Mount Doom in the distance. Finally, they are upon it, the Daimler-Chrysler building. A three part roof, the middle slightly higher up than the right and left sides by virtue of it supporting a helipad to enable the fat cats to make a quick getaway in time’s of corporate crisis a la’ Enron*.

Enormous speakers are attached to the side of the building; there is no ring set out, just the roof. Anything on it can be brought into play. The chopper cam focuses on the ring announcer wearing a tuxedo and standing dead center. He addresses the crowd both below and in the Silverdome a few miles away.

RA: “Laaaaaadies and Geeeeentlemen. Lets get reeeeeady to RUUUUUUUUUMBLEEEEEEE”!

Both venues are beset with cheering fans. The spotlights sway left and right, emulating those shooting from Hollywood during awards ceremonies where everybody kisses each others asses for thinking they’ve done such great jobs entertaining us throughout the year.

RA: “This is HARDCORE, You want to know the rules? THERE ARE NO RULES! The loser goes down and STAYS DOWN... The end. And now; presenting the current AWF Hardcore Champion, from Philly, the GPA Boss; VIEWFIIIIIIIND”!

From a small concrete block building on the rooftop, a door opens. A bright blue light beams out. White, sweet smelling smoke wisps into the night air, and suddenly the ring announcer forgets the cold. All is fiiiiiiiine, and Viewfind glides up to the official starting position, dressed in purple fluffy pimp hat and fur coat. A suitably fur clad ho on each arm, wearing presumably very little underneath. He grins, smoke pours through between his teeth.

RA: “And the challenger, from Chicago and representing Pulp Faction, STRAAAAAAAFE”!

Papercut bursts from the 20-foot high speakers, the glass windows on the side of the building reverberate and the fans go nuts again. The Strafester emerges from an opposite block hut, red light pouring forth as the door opens. Decked out in boots of midnight blue, and tights with a streak of red and green stretching from his left shoulder down to his right thigh. He psyches himself up, blowing hot air into the cold, snapping night breeze. The glittering prize that is the Hardcore belt rests upon a hook attached to a small girder jutting out from the helipad. He glances at it, and catches Viewfind doing the same.

The two men shiver as they stare each other down. A new helicopter swoops in, dropping a rope ladder to pick up the ring announcer. As he grabs it, he presses a button attached to the side of the mike. A simulated ringing bell sound shoots from the giant speakers, and large boxes of glitter attached to all four corners of the building explode at the trigger, showering the fans. The glitter catches the light, playfully shimmering and sparkling as the two murderers engage each other in ritualistic battle.

Viewfind scores first blood, grabbing Strafe around the mid-section and suplexing him. His back impacts against the concrete floor, dulling his senses. This isn’t your schoolyard play-wrestling antic’s, this is the whole enchilada, where fists rule and heart’s catch fire. All movements bear a greater toll upon the warriors than in a normal padded ring. Every impact rips into the body with blunt crushing force.

Strafe rolls into position to catch Viewfind with an uppercut that knocks him bandy. The sudden blood rush heats them against the cold, such that they feel like roaring locomotives heading toward each other on a mission of total annihilation.

KK: “A ferocious start to the match. These two really do bear a mutual hatred, having gotten off on a bad foot from the very start. You can bet this won’t be over without blood loss”.
LL: “It’ll certainly be a match to christen Viewfind’s recent house move, which incidentally is still in Philly”.
KK: “Could you imagine him moving anywhere else”?
LL: “Where would he fit his pa-ack? Holla”!

Strafe quickly body slams Viewfind, then rams him up hard against the little concrete block building. He swings for a punch, but the Gangsta dodges and Strafe’s hand cracks off the solid wall. His eyes go wide and he howls in pain, knuckles bright red and sore. Viewfind starts to laugh, then falls into an uncontrollable fit, his weed taking over.

LL: “That was a def move by the GPA man right there”.
KK: “The rooftop doing his work for him, super stuff”.

Enraged, Strafe grabs hold of his adversary’s foot to perform a spinning toehold. A hammer lock keeps the crowd entertained, and he aims for a little redemption by repeatedly bouncing Viewfind’s head off the wall, but the Philly bitch can’t stop his hysterical laughter, he’s in fits. Strafe tosses him to one side in frustration. The wall has had an effect, but how much? Viewfind may well have been seriously gone already. He grabs an old oil drum and hurls it toward Viewfind, who catches it but stumbles back a little at the weight. Puffing, he prepares to throw it back, but Strafe is up and in there with a flying kick. Vandaminator with an oil drum, an old rusty one at that! Viewfind takes the beating and wobbles backward some more. Strafe performs three backflips and adopts a defensive stance.

LL: “Viewfind showing a lot of guts here. He can take a lickin’ and keep on tickin’”
KK: “I’m sure that’ll depend on what Strafe decides to ‘clock’ him with next”.

But he doesn’t. Instead the two meet up in the middle, man-to-man, pimp to hardman, bitch to other board-mod. What’s it gonna be?
Its gonna be a TRE-mendous rake to the eyes! Viewfind lashing out with a speed and viciousness belying his doped up appearance. Strafe shrieks in shock and swings his fist wildly to prevent the Gangsta from getting in close. Viewfind chuckles and picks up a shovel. He swings it like a Louisville slugger, slamming right into Strafe’s back, and the challenger goes down, his eye’s red with pain, a stinging shock shooting up and down his spine. The crowd cheer on the action, relayed to them at the bottom of the building via a huge screen, drive-in movie style! Popcorn, beer and pretzels are being served, and a party atmosphere accompanies the simple wreslting party soul above who is forever blissfully lost in his own atmosphere, residing some 3,000 feet in comfortable numbness above the average white boy mind, who is sucking his desk job and patiently awaiting retirement so he can die alone and unloved. The Philly bitch regards real life as a petty annoyance. He whips out something from his tights and fingers it lovingly.

Viewfind: “C’mon biyatch! Come on and hit me”.

Strafe picks himself up off the floor, blood smeared across the knuckles on his right hand. He’s endured pain before, but this is breaking into new, as yet uncharted regions of the stuff. He’s got problems, and it’s standing there mocking him.

Viewfind: “I got my hash pipe, BO”!

Left-hander by the Gangsta, blocked by Strafe. Twisting his arm round forcing Viewfind to twist his entire body around also. Arm lock, forward roll slamming Viewfind into the ground, tie up with a scorpion pitch-shifter; the pressure is on. Will the Philly boy tap? Strafe piles on the pain, but Viewfind puffs on his pipe happily. Detached from his torture, he starts to picture himself a hundred times his own size, stomping Strafe into the ground as if he were nothing but a bothersome insect. Then Tupac starts singing, and his favourite film plays in the back of his mind ‘Waiting to Exhale’. Suddenly, he gets a craving for the munchies. But there are none nearby; something must be done about it, and quick! The thought stirs him into action. He ignores his legs being deprived of blood, and twists an arm to flick Strafe candidly on the ear.

Viewfind: “Hey bitch, why you ridin’ me all the time? You ain’t my ho”

He prods the pipe into Strafe’s back, making his opponent jerk forward and off of him. Viewfind stands uneasily.

Viewfind: “Jeez, anyone’d think you wanna marry me than fight me”
Strafe: “Dude if you’re gonna act like a bitch then I’m gonna have to slap you like a bitch”.
Viewfind: “Aaaaaii, well now, why don’t you just stand still while I get to work on yo’ ass with a pair o’ pliers an’ a blowtorch”.

The Gangsta reaches into the little hut he emerged from at the beginning of the match, and brings out said instruments! Strafe looks about him for some kind of protection. For some reason there’s a front half of a pantomime horse lying off to one side. With no other option, he leaps over and dons it quickly. Viewfind chortles a little, then makes a mad dash for him. Strafe does the same, vicious horse teeth flick open and shut as he plays with the little lever inside the head. They snap around the blowtorch firmly, but the pliers go to work around Strafe’s groin area, clamping into place. He screams like a choirboy, it makes his enemy grin widely, but Viewfind doesn’t have a hand free to cover his ears from the din. He gets up close and personal with the horse, the thick pelt against the side of his head being the only thing stopping his eardrums exploding. The sight is surreal, from a distance, its almost as if Viewfind is making sweet love to a horse whilst castrating it at the same time. The two commentators watch in disbelief from their chopper:

LL: “Wow! Its almost as if Viewfind is making sweet love to a horse whilst castrating it at the same time”!
KK: “I’m looking on in disbelief”!

The intense and unbelievable pain makes Strafe’s body double over, and with a tight grip still on the blowtorch, the torch head points down onto Viewfind’s other arm holding the pliers! The blue flame burns into his skin, and it takes the Gangsta a second to realise his folly, before leaping about in agony. The hold broken, the pliers clang onto the floor, and the horse collapses.

KK: “Whoa! Viewfind performing the Riverdance before our very eyes, and Strafe living out his bestial dreams! Not quite the type of Hardcore I was thinking of”.

Strafe gathers his strength to hurl the horse costume off him. He’s drenched in sweat and covering his jewels protectively, praying for their intactness. Viewfind meanwhile subdues his merry jig and contents himself with spouting voluminous cuss words enough to make a bleep machine implode through overuse.

LL: “Where is it going to go from here? Both men are tired and in a LOT of pain”.

Viewfind hops around a little more, still cursing, and then stops abruptly after spotting something. He looks to Strafe, still nursing himself on the floor (at least, we hope that’s what he’s doing), and starts cackling evilly. Picking up his broken pipe, he takes one last drag and cackles some more. Strafe looks up and shouts across the distance between them:

Strafe: “WHAT”?
Viewfind: “Heh heh heh”.

He picks up a loaded AK-47 sloppily discarded by some CEO’s grandchild days before. Glancing it over appreciatively, he cocks it at the floodlights and lets out a barrage of gunfire. The crowd emit a whoop of shock. JHA and JFA stare at the Archivetron in disbelief. The floodlights pop and expire. Glass showers the rooftop with vicious looking shards. Strafe stares silently having used the brief respite to tear his costume and make a makeshift bandage to wrap around his rapidly swelling and bloodied fist. Viewfind lets the gun-smoke clear from the barrel. The tip glistens in the moonlight, and he levels it at Strafe.

Viewfind: “I love it when a plan comes together”.

He fires, Strafe bolts from his sitting position and flees for cover. Bullets riddle the wall he laid against scant seconds before. Viewfind wets himself with laughter, insane laughter, laughter reserved only for archenemies. Strafe huddles behind a small hut; he pokes his head around to get a view, and is met with more gunfire. Pinging and popping off the wall. His boots are embedded with large pieces of glass. He pulls them off yelling in pain, his feet are bloodied and scarred.

Viewfind: “Yippie-ki-yay Muther******”!

More gunfire. The chopper soars away from the action as Viewfind waves it threateningly at anything and anyone. Linda and Keith don’t need to tell Bob the Pilot twice. He backs off to a safe distance, the camera just able to keep view of the fighters. Strafe decides to test the waters by flinging one of his boots up into the air. It’s met by a hail of gunfire, returning to him looking like Swiss cheese. He resolves to take action fast or it’s all over. He notices a box alongside him. Opening it, Strafe discovers it to be chock full of high explosives! A crazy thought shoots into his mind, crazy… but it just might work!

Viewfind: “GPA gonna get’cha baby, gonna get’cha gooood! You an’ the rest o’ your Pulp Faction chumps. This is where I get mine”.

Ripping his costume to shreds, Strafe bandages his feet and prime’s the explosives, wrapping a nearby fire hose around his waist, he prep’s himself for the vital few seconds ahead. It’s all or nothing, death or glory, Sydney or the bush!
He leaps up, holding his other boot like a shuriken star, and throws it forward.

NOTE: The next few moments play out in dramatic slow motion....

Viewfind begins firing, shell after shell pumps out, but the flying boot catches the gun squarely, knocking it from the gangsta’s hands. Strafe charges for all he is worth, the counter on the box of explosives reads ‘003’. The glass crackles and splinters into his poorly bandaged feet, slicing deeply. Adrenaline surges through him, all sound is gone. Viewfind curses but can’t move in time to avoid the charge: ‘002’.
The chopper carrying Linda, Kevin and Bob rushes forward to get a close view: ‘001’.
Strafe barrels into Viewfind, knocking him off his feet. Refusing to slow down he pushes them both forward, and they hurtle over the rooftop: ‘000’!!!!

NOTE: Back to real-time action

The top of the Daimler-Chrysler building explodes in a ball of light and sound! The chopper is knocked back by the blast and collides with a small group of trees below. Strafe and Viewfind plummet toward the ground, Viewfind screaming. The crowd are screaming too, ground cameras keep rolling as large pieces of metal shower down around them. Suddenly, the hosepipe pulls tight, and the two men slam against the side of the building. Viewfind struggles to keep a hold of Strafe, the only thing preventing him from falling to his doom. The hose reel on the roof breaks free from its freshly destroyed moorings, and they plummet some more. Increased screaming both from the fans below and at the Silverdome. News broadcasts on other channels hastily cancel their current programmes to bring footage of this moment to their viewers. The hose reel collides with a small portion of unbroken wall, but the force of the impact damages it badly, it’s about to crumple. Hastily, Strafe and Viewfind swing together back and forth against the glass window exterior attempting to smash it in. But it’s not enough. A hail of rubble and metal rains down on them. Surely all is lost!
However, out of the corner of his eye, Strafe catches a glint of a piece of familiar shaped metal heading toward him at speed. It’s the AK-47! He reaches out his only free hand, and divine intervention steps in to allow him to grab it in the nick of time. With the hose reel almost wasted, He and Viewfind kick away from the window one last time. Thundering abuse, Strafe pulls the trigger and lets hot lead flow, shattering the pane into a million pieces! They swing into the office room just in time to see a large amount of brickwork fall where they once were.
Strafe breathes heavily, and like a flash Viewfind is on him, grabbing the AK and pointing it at his skull. He pulls the trigger, but nothing comes. The gun is empty!

Taking that as his cue, Strafe nails him with the punch from the depths of his very soul, Viewfind goes sailing backward and lands against the edge of the shattered window. The hose reel shoots past the office, heading for the ground with breathtaking speed. Thinking desperately, Strafe unwinds the hose from around his waste, wraps it around the disorientated Viewfind’s neck and says:

Strafe: “Hasta la vista, baby!”

He coshes him over the head with the rifle, the force sending the Gangsta over the side. The falling hose reel takes hold of his body, and for one brief second, Viewfind looks just like Wile E. Coyote when he realises he’s about to fall off the cliff again. And with that, he shoots to the floor below.

Luckily, in the intervening time, the police had contacted the fire department, who then set up a massive air mattress. Viewfind plunged into it, and immediately, rescuers dived in to retrieve him. Strafe’s body shook as he peered over the side to the commotion below. Firemen appeared from the mattress carrying his opponent, who was out cold! Victory! Strafe had won the Hardcore Championship! The images on the Archivetron sounded Linkin Park’s ‘Papercut’ as the ring announcers voice filled both the Silverdome and some new smaller standing speakers next to the wrecked DC building:

RA: “Laaadies and Gentlemeeeen, announcing the new Hardcore Champion, STRAAAAAAFE”!

Linda, Kevin and Bob pulled themselves from their downed chopper, looking a little the worse for wear. With Bob manning the camera, they made their way through the crowd to the front, where a group of paramedics were checking on Viewfind. Strafe was just coming down the outside steps of the building when a few policemen got to him and threw a blanket over his beaten and bloodied body. He shooed the medics away from him as the he cast a glance in Viewfind’s direction. The GPA boss would be ok in time, they both would. Kevin tried to get a few choice words from Strafe, but he was still in too much shock to speak.

Finally, a sergeant brought over the charred remains of something. It was the Hardcore belt. Smoldering, blackened, and a little melted, but still it was the belt. Strafe kissed it once, then spat out a tooth. Smiling, he held the belt aloft and thousands upon thousands of fans cheered throughout the land.

The cameras switch back to the Silverdome, and pan up to above the ring, where we see two gold belts suspended twenty feet above the ring.

*Back to Flec*

Flec: Ummm…wow…now I forgot how screwed up that match was! Another match from Meltdown 2002 our writers picked was a fourway for the AWF IC Title! Let’s take a look at this classic!

Intercontinental Championship – Fatal Fourway
The Big Ragebowski (c) vs. Silly Cow vs. Deathscream vs. Plasmodium

“Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is a Fatal Fourway Match. And it is for the Archive Wrestling Federation’s Intercontinental Championship.”

Ooh, whatta man, whatta man, whatta man, whatta mighty good man, whatta mighty mighty good man

The reigning champion emerges from behind the curtain, and poses atop the stage, taking in the jeers of the sold out crowd.

“Introducing first, from the dreams of ladies everywhere, and representing the Corporate World Order. He is the AWF Intercontinental Champion – The Big Ragebowski… Mirage!”

JHA: “What the hell is all this about?”
JFA: “Excuse me?”
JHA: “The champion shouldn’t be out here first… he should be entering last. The peons should be made to wait for the champion.”
JFA: “As I understand it, the Big Ragebowski actually elected to enter first. I believe it was because he was unwilling to share the spotlight with anybody…”
JHA: “No no – I know why it would have been! He didn’t want to get backjumped by any of the three schmucks he’s up against… that’s why. What a smart guy.”

Mirage struts up the ring steps, and clambers into the squared circle, pointing at the gold around his waist.

KMFDM’s ‘Virus’ fills the Silverdome, and the next competitor emerges from the back.

“And the first challenger, from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada…. Plasmodium!”

JFA: “Now we get our first look at the Canadian involved in this match. Truly multi-national battle for the Championship tonight – two Englishmen, a Canadian and a Fin. Nobody from the States involved, which is distinctly unusual.”
JHA: “Don’t you go trying to stir up any of that racism stuff… those angles die on their ass unless properly booked.”
JFA: “Plasmodium a former Intercontinental Champion, of course. And a former member of the CWO – he defeated Claypool for the title at Syxx Feet Under back in July, only losing the title to Bombshell in a Triple Threat match at Heat Wave. This his first chance to regain the championship that effectively cost him his place in the Order, going in against a current member of the CWO – Mirage.”
JHA: “And three other guys, let’s not forget. You’ve got to keep your wits about you at all times in this match. You don’t need to be in any way involved in the finish for the match to end. And the champion’s at a distinct disadvantage, because he doesn’t have to lose in order to lose the belt. Of course, I know that Ragey isn’t bothered by that, because he’s taken on three at once before. Just… not in the wrestling ring, if you catch my meaning…”

“No chance, that’s what you’ve got

“From London, England, and representing the nTo – Deathscream!”

JFA: “And here comes the only person involved in this match who hasn’t yet worn the Intercontinental Championship. Representing the nTo, of course – the nTo still under the control of Cyberstrike, after his victory over OP2005 earlier tonight.”
JHA: “That makes me feel so happy… knowing that all is how I don’t care…”

Deathscream reaches the ring, and climbs through the ropes, before assuming a position in one of the corners, surveying the two other men waiting in their own corners.

‘Song 2’ hits, and the crowd go crazy.

JFA: “And here comes the former Intercontinental Champion! Out in his first opportunity to regain the title that he lost after only a few weeks.”
JHA: “Well, if he wasn’t so careless he would never have lost it in the first place.”

“And the fourth, and final, competitor, representing Pulp Faction – 2 Lame… Silly Cow!”

Silly Cow blazes down the ramp and dives straight into the ring, making a beeline for the reigning champion. Mirage ducks under the running clothesline, and slides under the ropes to the outside, grabbing 2 Lame’s ankles and pulling him out as well.

JHA: “Good tactics by the Big Ragebowski! Turned Silly Cow’s own enthusiasm against him.”
JFA: “Indeed. Now, Mirage rams Too Lame’s back hard into the ring apron. Irish whip out on the floor, and sends him hard into the steel barricade.”
JHA: “If he wasn’t really too lame before, he may be soon…”
JFA: “That was bad even by your standards. Plasmodium and Deathscream going at it on the inside… the Big Ragebowski is going to have to be watchful of what’s going on in the ring, as well as paying attention to Silly Cow on the outside.”
JHA: “Has the bell even rung yet?”
JFA: “Yes, I believe it has… Deathscream with Plasmodium in a side headlock… reversed into a waistlock by Plas… takedown to the mat, and floats across into a headlock of his own. Plasmodium controlling his opponent on the mat, the referee checking the shoulders…”

Heaving up Silly Cow, the Big Ragebowski scoops him up, and deposits him firmly on the ground with a hard bodyslam. Spotting the action going on inside the ring, Mirage slides bak in under the bottom rope, and boots Plasmodium firmly in the back of the head.

JFA: “Broken up now, by the Intercontinental Champion. He pulls Plasmodium up… and that’s a firm right hand to the head. Standing side headlock by Mirage now… but Plasmodium powers out of it, sending the Champion to the ropes. Clothesline attempt, ducked by Mirage, who counters from behind with an atomic drop… now a clothesline of his own.”
JHA: “And the Big Ragebowski is showing why he is the single biggest attraction in Pontiac right now.”
JFA: “But Deathscream is back to his feet. Mirage hasn’t seen him yet… now he turns around… spear!! Deathscream with a spear on Mirage… makes the cover.. one! Two!”
JHA: “Kick out! Good kick out by Mirage… I wasn’t worried for a second…”
JFA: “For somebody who wasn’t worried, you seem to be breathing rather heavily…”
JHA: “It’s my phone voice…”

Deathscream backs off as Mirage gets back to his feet, before nailing him with a firm boot to the midsection, and a gutwrench suplex.

JFA: “Good suplex by Deathscream… floats over into a lateral press… one… two… no, broken up by Plasmodium.”
JHA: “It’s so easy to forget in this sort of match that there’s two other guys who also want to win… you’ve got to incapacitate them both in order to even stand a chance of pinning one man…”
JFA: “Plasmodium dragging Deathscream off Mirage by the leg… oh, and just wrenching away on the leg when he had the opportunity…”
JHA: “That’ll hyper-extend your knee…”
JFA: “Doubtless that Plasmodium is softening him up for the Cold Torment. Possibly thinks that a submission victory would be easier than trying to incapacitate somebody for a pinfall.”
JHA: “Speaking of incapacitated… Silly Cow’s only just gotten up on the arena floor.”

Dropping Deathscream’s ankle across the bottom rope, Plasmodium grabs hold of the top strand and leaps into the air, using his downward momentum to drive his knee into the lower leg of the nTo member. The Big Ragebowski stands back, gasping for breath, before coming across and holding the Londoner in place, whilst Plas heads onto the second turnbuckle.

JFA: “And Plasmodium and Mirage seemingly working in tandem here… trying to soften up Deathscream. Crushing kneedrop by Plasmodium, from the second turnbuckle right down onto Deathscream’s calf. And you can hear the nTo man screaming in agony…”
JHA: “Agony? That’s mild discomfort. I remember one time, I was trapped in the camel clutch for twenty five minutes. I didn’t have any manager to throw in the towel and screw me out of the title. Referee tried checking my arms, I didn’t even let ‘em drop once. My back was killing me by the time the time limit expired… but I never gave up… that’s what agony is all about, my man.”
JFA: “Plasmodium going up top now… looking to repeat the feat from higher up.”

As Plasmodium starts to climb the turnbuckles, Silly Cow climbs back into the ring.

JFA: “Plas on the top now… but… Silly Cow, just dragging Mirage away. A right… another right… a left. Boot to the gut… inverted atomic drop… and a thunderoud clothesline!”
JHA: “No, Ragey!! Get up!!”
JFA: “Plasmodium comes off the top! Nobody home! Deathscream rolling out of the way just in time, and there’s nothing but mat for Plasmodium’s kneedrop!”

Plasmodium lies fetal on the mat, clutching his knee, as Deathscream does the same. Silly Cow pulls up Mirage, and locks him into a front facelock.

JFA: “Silly Cow with Mirage now… looking for the suplex. He’s got him up… no, the Big Ragebowski drops out of it and behind. Onto his feet… waistlock, to the ropes, nice double-leg roll-up… the bridge… he’s got him, surely!”
JHA: “The Triple R brings home the gold! One! Two! NO!!”
JFA: “Broken up, out of nowhere by Plasmodium. Plas limping heavily after jarring his knee on the mat. Mirage back up, but clotheslined over the top by Plasmodium. Schoolboy roll-up by Silly Cow! One! Two!! Oh, a narrow kick-out by Plasmodium…”
JHA: “Everybody’s getting pinfalls on everybody… this is insane!”
JFA: “Deathscream still injured in the corner… struggling to get to his feet. Plasmodium and Silly Cow going at it now… go-behind by Silly Cow, oh, and Plasmodium just countered by swinging an elbow back, squarely into the side of Too Lame’s jaw.”

Seizing his moment to slow down the pace, Plasmodium slams a kneelift into the former champion’s gut, and plants him with a DDT.

JHA: “Plas has got it… one… two… oh, thank the lord for that…”
JFA: “Deathscream, somehow getting across to break up the count. He’s taken the least amount of punishment in this match, but that which he has received has really left its mark – he can barely put any weight on that right leg.”
JHA: “Plasmodium doesn’t look too happy about that break… not that I’d be too happy if I was Plasmodium, anyway, but…”
JFA: “The Manitoban up to his feet now… going eyeball to eyeball with Deathscream… and just shoved him away. Deathscream hobbling… and he just spat in Plasmodium’s face!”
JHA: “Oh… that’ll get him riled…”
JFA: “Plasmodium angry! Swings for Deathscream… ducked… kick to the small of the back! Reverse DDT! The bottom just came out from under Plasmodium! Cover by Deathscream! No, broken up by Silly Cow, who’s back on his feet.”
JHA: “Where’s Mirage?! We’ve got three people fighting over his title, and he’s disappeared!”
JFA: “I can’t answer that… He was clotheslined over the top rope on the far side of the ring… and none of our cameras are picking him up…”
JHA: “I think… I think I saw the apron fly up on the far side e few moments ago… he may have gone under the ring!”

Pulling Deathscream up to a vertical base, Silly Cow lands a European uppercut.

JFA: “Firm blow there by Too Lame, back suplex here, perhaps? No, hooks the leg… lifts him high, and just brings Deathscream down hard onto the knee, shin-first…”
JHA: “Plasmodium’s beginning to stir now…”
JFA: “Silly Cow picking up Deathscream again… swinging neckbreaker… goes for the cover. One… two… shoulder comes up. I don’t think you’re going to be able to put away Deathscream quite that easily. Plasmodium just stood at the ropes now… watching… and… what the hell?”

As he watches Silly Cow struggle to put Deathscream away, Plasmodium suddenly falls face-first to the mat, and is yanked out of the ring by his ankles.

JHA: “The Big Ragebowski!! Triple R just took out Plasmodium!”
JFA: “Mirage was hiding under the ring… and just revealed himself! Silly Cow back with Deathscream on his feet now… go-behind into a waistlock… German suplex!”

As Too Lame bridges for the pin, Mirage dives into the ring, and throws his body across Deathscream’s shoulder’s as well.

JFA: “German suplex by Silly Cow… and… Mirage has got the lateral press on as well… one… two… oh, powered out by Deathscream…”
JHA: “What the hell happened there? They both pinned him!”
JFA: “I have no idea what the referee would have done in that situation… Silly Cow up again now… and he’s seen Mirage. I don’t know if he realises what just happened… I don’t think he cares!”
JHA: “Now would be a good time to bail again, Ragey!”
JFA: “Silly Cow going after Mirage… he’s got him. A firm right hand… another! Mirage into the corner… Silly Cow with the irish whip across!”

Mirage hurtles across the ring, propelled by momentum he can’t handle, his head drops as he reaches the far corner, and he flips a hundred and eighty degrees in the air, his back hitting the far turnbuckles upside down. Dropping back to his feet, staggered, he turns around and walks straight into a flying knee from his opponent.

JFA: “Silly Cow unloading on the Big Ragebowski here! He wants his title back. He won the Intercontinental Championship in his last pay per view appearance! He thinks he can do it again! The capacity crowd thinks he can do it again! And I think he can do it again!”
JHA: “Will you stop with the blatant partisanship?! COME ON RAGEY!!!”

As Mirage hits the ground, Silly Cow immediately floats across for the lateral press, but the Big Ragebowski somehow gets his shoulder up at the last possible moment.

JHA: “Thank you god!”
JFA: “So very close for Silly Cow! He looks at the referee in disbelief! Back up to his feet now… and Deathscream’s up as well. Clothesline attempt by the nTo man… ducked by Silly Cow.”

Both men turn into each other at the same time, but Deathscream reacts quicker, landing a knife-edge chop to his opponent, before hurling him into the ropes.

JFA: “Backdrop attempt by Deathscream… telegraphed it somewhat, dropped the head early. Silly Cow’s got it scouted… hooks the arms, rotates around… the backslide by Silly Cow! One! Two! And Deathscream frees himself.”
JHA: “Can you imagine how embarrassing that would be?! To lose to the backslide? Do you have any idea how many people that’s ever actually worked on?!”

Silly Cow pulls Deathscream up again, and tries to send him to the ropes, but Deathscream counters. As Too Lame comes off the far side, Deathscream telegraphs the clothesline, and Silly Cow ducks. Reaching up to grab his opponent’s arm, Cow uses his own momentum to swing himself up and around behind the nTo man, grabbing the spare arms between his legs. Still using his own momentum, he twists himself sideways, away from his opponent, dragging them both down to the mat, and forcing Deathscream’s shoulders into the canvas.

JFA: “Crucifix by Silly Cow! It must be over! One! Two! Broken up by Mirage… who used the distraction of Deathscream to catch his breath…”
JHA: “Mirage has all the attributes of a great Champion… poise, awareness, ability, tactical know-how!”
JFA: “Plus he has the Commissioner on his side. Of course that may all change later tonight. Mirage now… taking advantage of his breather… getting in a few cheap shots on Silly Cow… forcing him into the corner. Deathscream back up as well… Mirage now turning to deal with him… a boot to the midsection… oh, and he just kicked Deathscream’s leg right out from under him… and the crowd don’t seem to like that…”
JHA: “Hey, all’s fair in the Intercontinental Championship. It’s a Fatal Fourway match… he’s got nobody to watch his back for him. He has to do it himself.”
JFA: “And I must say that I’m pleasantly surprised that we haven’t seen any other members of the cWo or nTo out here to interject themselves.”
JHA: “That’s because the CWO all know that Triple R can do it all by himself. He doesn’t need any help. And the nTo? Who can say why they do what they do… they’re mainly crazy…”

Taking advantage of the lull in action from Silly Cow and Plasmodium, the Big Ragebowski drags Deathscream back up to a vertical base, and sends him back down to the mat with a powerful neckbreaker.

JHA: “The Rage Awakening. He gets them up… and then they end up flat on their back. Just the way the Big Ragebowski likes it.”
JFA: “I’ve really got no reply to that… cover by Mirage now. One. Two. Broken up by Silly Cow, who just came hurtling out of that corner with a double axehandle. He may have looked tired, but I think the idea of somebody else walking out of here with his belt was just beyond his comprehension.”
JHA: “There’s a lot of things that are beyond his comprehension, y’know…”
JFA: “Let’s not go there. He may not be the most intelligent person in the AWF..”
JHA: “No. I am.”
JFA: “But he’s one of the most popular. Going to work again on Mirage. Deathscream seems completely out of the equation after that neckbreaker. And Plasmodium is out on the floor, blood streaming down his face after smacking his face on the apron earlier.”

Silly Cow and Mirage once again exchange punches, before Mirage backs him to the ropes, and hurls him to the far side.

JFA: “Silly Cow off the ropes now… leapfrogs Mirage… to the other side… baseball slide between his legs! Mirage is completely outfoxed!”
JHA: “He’s behind you!”
JFA: “No, pantomime is next month! Triple R turning around… small package by Silly Cow! One! Two! Oh, powered out by Mirage. These two men getting more and more frustrated as the match goes on. Both up again… firm right hand by Silly Cow… backs up to the ropes. Looking for the crucifix again!”
JHA: “BAM!! That’ll finish him off!”
JFA: “Silly Cow was looking for the crucifix, but Mirage just blocked the momentum and dropped straight down into a version of a Samoan drop. That’s gotta be it. Very nonchalant cover from the Big Ragebowski… not even bothering to turn around… one… two… no! Shoulder came up from Silly Cow!”
JHA: “No! No! No!”
JFA: “Mirage cannot believe it! Now just stomping away on Too Lame! Deathscream’s back to his feet… and Mirage punches him straight back down again!”

Silly Cow somehow staggers back to his feet, but Mirage takes him back down with a snap-mare, before bouncing himself off the ropes. As Too Lame returns to a sitting position, Triple R advances behind him, grabbing the back of the head, and somersaults over his opponent, wrenching the neck forward, and letting it snap back to the mat behind.

JHA: “Aah, beautiful neck-snap by the retaining Champion. Now the cover. Hook of the leg. One. Two.”
JFA: “Kick-out! Somehow, Silly Cow found the reserve to kick out. What is it going to take for one of these two men to pin the other?”
JHA: “Aaaaaaarrrrrghhhh!!”

Hauling up the former champion, the Big Ragebowski backs him into the corner, and just flings him with all his might across the ring. Silly Cow’s momentum turns him, causing him to slam back-first into the turnbuckle pads.

JFA: “Solid Irish whip by the Intercontinental Champion. And Mirage comes across now, a firm kneelift to the gut. And he climbs the turnbuckles… looking to drive his fist into Silly Cow’s forehead.”
JHA: “This is what you get for messing. One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven.”
JFA: “Silly Cow fighting back, though! Front waistlock by Too Lame… he’s got Mirage up high! Rushes forward out of the turnbuckles… inverted atomic- no… Mirage blocking it. Double leg takedown by Silly Cow! And… a slingshot!”

Grabbing Mirage’s legs, Silly Cow pulls backwards, causing the Intercontinental Champion to fall backwards onto the mat. Still holding the legs firmly, he links his hands, and drops backwards, propelling the Big Ragebowski up into the air behind. Launched forward by the momentum, Triple R clears the top turnbuckle, and collide’s forehead-first with the steel ring-post behind.

JHA: “Nooooooooooo!!!!!!!”
JFA: “The Champion is out cold! Silly Cow has got this won! Mirage flat on his back unconscious! Too Lame crawls across… the cover… one… two… no! no! Plasmodium just reached into the ring and pulled Silly Cow off the champion!”
JHA: “Thank you, Plas! Thank you! I never doubted you for a moment!”

His face bloodied, Plasmodium crawls back into the ring and, from a kneeling position, delivers a succession of punches to Silly Cow.

JFA: “Plasmodium starting to work over Silly Cow now… Deathscream still down in the corner, Mirage virtually unconscious in the center of the ring. Plas hauling Silly Cow up now… and a firm bodyslam.”
JHA: “I don’t like the look on his face now… heading for Silly Cow’s legs. We may see the end now… and Ragey’s not even awake to stop it…”
JFA: “It’s looking close, that’s for sure. Plasmodium pulling up the legs… cloverleaf… into a modified Lion Tamer… the Cold Torment is what he calls it, and it’s easy to understand why!”
JHA: “Oh my god… how can Silly Cow not tap out to this? That move is evil, I’m telling you…”
JFA: “I think the Intercontinental Championship is heading back around the waist of Plasmodium… unless somebody can… no, wait… Deathscream’s back on his feet! Spear!! Deathscream with a spear on Plasmodium!! The hold is broken!”
JHA: “Oh yes… oh, thank you, Deathscream… thank you thank you thank you…”
JFA: “Deathscream with a cover!”
JHA: “No! You selfish piece of…”
JFA: “One! Two! Shoulder just comes up by Plasmodium…”

Climbing back to his feet, Deathscream drops an elbow across the chest of Plasmodium, before dragging him out towards the center of the ring to make the cover.

JFA: “Another lateral press by Deathscream… one… two… and Silly Cow, this time, making the save. He doesn’t look in the best condition, but then, nor do any of these men. Mirage is starting to stir again, as well.”

All three men rise to their feet again, they glance at each other in anticipation of one making the first move.

JHA: “I don’t believe this… they’re all punched out… nobody’s got the impetus to start wrestling again…”

Without warning, all three men explode into life, a three-way volley of punches erupting. Silly Cow wailed away on Plasmodium, Plasmodium landed blows on Deathscream, Deathscream started punching Silly Cow…. Silly Cow retaliated on Deathscream, Deathscream nailed Plasmodium, Plasmodium struck Silly Cow.

JFA: “All three of them are going at it in that corner! The adrenaline just taking over now! And Mirage is back up to his feet… running kneelift into all three men! No! Silly Cow caught it coming and leapt out of the way! The Big Ragebowski just levelled Deathscream and Plasmodium!”
JHA: “Could have been worse…”
JFA: “Silly Cow now, with the advantage on Mirage… whips him across the ring… back bodydrop. Triple R back up, though… hiptoss by Too Lame… clothesline attempt…”
JHA: “Ducked by Mirage – he can’t be caught that easily!”
JFA: “Bulldog! Silly Cow with the bulldog to Mirage! The Big Ragebowski is out in the middle of the ring… Plasmodium and Deathscream still recovering in the corner!”
JHA: “No!! No!! No!!”

Rolling his opponent over onto his back, Silly Cow smiles in delight, looking towards the crowd in ecstacy. He runs to the ropes on one side, bouncing off, before leaping over Mirage’s body to hit the ropes on the other side. His momentum carries him back to his starting place – over the fallen Intercontinental Champion. He stops, glances around at the people, and leaps into the air, delivering a splash to the prone body of the Big Ragebowski.

JHA: “No!!!”
JFA: “The Cow Splash!! This’ll be all! One! Two! NO!! Deathscream just broke up the count… across in the nick of time to stop the count…”
JHA: “Phew…”
JFA: “Deathscream arguing with the referee now… over what, I’m not quite sure… Silly Cow involved as well… Plasmodium just stood well back, surveying the scene…”

Suddenly, a ripple of boos fills the arena, as Cyberstrike darts down the aisle.

JFA: “What the? Cyberstrike is in… the referee distracted with Deathscream. Cyberstrike up behind Plasmodium – he hasn’t seen him! Breakdown!! Plasmodium just dropped with the Breakdown by Cyberstrike… and just… thrown out of the ring?”
JHA: “That I don’t understand… I mean, I understand him taking him out, but… why not let Deathscream cover him? Unless they’re just incapacitating him…”
JFA: “I think that may be the plan… that vulture Cyberstrike, now… going up to the referee… he’s inside the ring, he shouldn’t even be out here. And the referee is furious that he’s here…. Adamant that Cyberstrike return the the locker room… Deathscream now… going… outside?”
JHA: “Okay… this has taken a turn for the hwa?”
JFA: “Deathscream now… just unseated our timekeeper… and he’s got that steel folding chair.”
JHA: “Aaah… Now it all becomes clear.”

Sliding into the ring, Deathscream looks up to see Cyberstrike arguing vehemently with the official. Silly Cow looks on in confusion, trying to separate them. The nTo participant holds the chair firmly in his right hand, and reaches out with his left to pat Too Lame on the shoulder.

JFA: “Silly Cow turns around… oh god no… that is the most vile chairshot I believe I’ve ever seen!”
JHA: “I gotta give the nTo boys credit… they’ve executed the plan perfectly…”
JFA: “Deathscream now… throwing the chair out of the ring… oh yeah, and now Cyberstrike decides it’s okay to leave… yeah, that’s right. Deathscream pulling Silly Cow up again… he’s not done with him yet… suplex perhaps?”
JHA: “Deathknell. That’s gonna be it. Ragey can’t break it… Plasmodium can’t break it… Deathscream’s gonna walk out with the title. Damn.”
JFA: “Deathscream just driving Silly Cow down into the mat… not making the cover though… instead he’s just gone over to Mirage… what the? He just threw Mirage’s arm across Silly Cow’s body…”
JHA: “What the?”

Deathscream stands back as the referee slides into position and begins the count. One. Two. Three. The referee signals for the bell, and the Big Ragebowski’s music fills the Silverdome once more.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the winner of this match, and still Archive Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Champion – The Big Ragebowski, Mirage!”

JHA: “What the hell just happened?”
JFA: “Deathscream had Silly Cow beaten… and then gave the victory to Mirage… I…. I’m confused. Cyberstrike grabbing the Intercontinental Title belt… Deathscream grabbing Mirage… rolling them both out of the ring. And the three look to be leaving together…”

Cyberstrike straps the Intercontinental Title around the waist of Mirage, before the nTo raise his hands in victory, and help him to the back, leaving Silly Cow and Plasmodium unconscious in and around the ring.

JFA: “Well… I can only speculate as to what just happened…. Has Mirage joined the nTo?! Was this their big announcement?”
JHA: “I hope not…”
JFA: “All I can say for certain is that it looks like this was a set-up… Deathscream in the match as a ringer to ensure that Mirage walked out as Champion… but all I can say after that is… WHY?!”

[Galvatron91]

*Camera cuts back to Flec, sipping on a beer…he sees the camera and tosses it over his shoulder, and sits back in his easy chair acting innocently!*

Flec: Oh…I didn’t see you there…AHEM…welcome back! What a match! Now then, earlier tonight we saw the birth of DN…now let us take a look at one of their most bizarre matches…and I mean BIZARRE! Check out this debacle that ended the wrestling careers of some boy band pukes…this one comes to us from the 9 October 2002 Warzone!

DNext vs. NSync

A brisk autumn breeze blew up around the Californian coastline. N*Sync stood alone on the twisting coastal road, nothing ahead of them, nothing behind. JC shivered as Justin checked the instructions a fiftieth time.

Lance: “You’re sure this is where we’re supposed to meet”?
Justin: “Of course I’m sure, what? Do you think I’m thick or something”?
Lance: “well, you are in a boy band”.

A loud, but distant foghorn sounded. Chris jumped like the pansy ass that he is, and quickly readjusted himself.

Chris: “What in the Billboard Chart top 40 was that”?

Joey looked up from his custard pie for a moment.

Joey: “Issa truck, Chris.

Sure enough, a gi-normous 18-wheeler came rumbling down the mountain road. They could see it in the distance, getting closer by the minute.

Joey: “Tha’s them”, he said with a mouthful of pastry, spitting crumbs over his fellow band members”.

The rig thundered toward them, and came to a halt. Its hydraulic brakes hissed in the mid morning sunlight. The cab door opened, and G91 leapt out, followed by Sixy.

G91: “Morning Nerdsink, fine day to meet your maker eh”?
Sixy: “Mmmmm, smell that fresh sea breeze. Hang on, I smell something else”.
HBK: “You sure do Sixy, that’s the smell of fear wafting from this buncha Miss. Millies”

Lance: “Can the sweet talk ladies, we’re here to rumble. Now why the hell did you bring us all the way out to this place? I don’t see any ring. You gonna gun us down and toss our bodies into the sea”?
HBK: “Oh if were only the case, Lancey-boy. No, there’s a ring all right, just look up”.
Lance: “... space, the final frontier...”
HBK: “Not that high up, dolt. Check out the roof of the rig”.

En*sunk looked up together, and could make out four struts sprouting from each corner of the trailer’s roof, linked together with rope.

Justin: “Man you cannot be serious”!
HBK: “I’m deadly serious you little scum merchant. This is where its gonna happen”.

JC shivered wetly into his pants.

Just then, a helicopter homed into view. It sped towards the ensemble, reared up, and touched down right next to them. Linda Lovelace and Keith Kincaid jumped out.

KK: “Howdy boys, we're here”.

HBK turned to Lance: “You see, these two are here to document and commentate on the whole thing. They’ve got cameras mounted on the belly of that whirlybird, the pictures will be fed to our screaming fans over in the Warzone stadium”.

Lance: “Why don’t they just stand on the cab and film us from there”?
HBK: “Too dangerous. Did I forget to tell you that we’re gonna be fighting while this truck hurtles at breakneck speeds along the coast”?

N*Suck look at the Heartbrend Kid, dumbfounded.

G91: “Ha! I love that look, it suits you guys”.

Sixy: “Enough talk boys, lets get this show on the road. N*Schmuck, your ladders to the roof are on the other side of the trailer, D-Next’s is this side. Now get going”.

Sixshot nods to LL and KK; the two jump into the chopper and take off. She climbs behind the wheel of the behemoth and starts it up. It roars into life.

As they climb their ladders to the top, G91 stops HBK:

G91: “Tell me again just WHY we’re doing this”?
HBK: “G, I’ve been noticing that flame in your eyes slowly dimming of late. There’s only so many times you can kick the likes of Clay’s ass before it all gets a bit samey. Do you think the N*schmoes picked this particular time, of all times, to hit on Sixy? Or do you think maybe they were sent a tape of her in the shower by someone who shall for now remain anonymous”?
G91: “O’ Con, you orchestrated this”?
HBK: “Well, me and Sixy, yeah. Think of this as an early Christmas present from us, to you. We can thrash their hides in an outrageous style, then get back to business by wiping the cWo off the face of the planet in our next matchup. This, all this, is your cleanser before the real task ahead”.
G91: “You’re all heart Sean. Lets bag and tag these whelps”.

The two men scramble to the top.

The truck begins to roll. HBK steps up to the boy band carrying a little set of microphones to attach to their shirts.

HBK: “Here you go boys, this is so that everyone at home can hear your screams”.

G91: “And when this baby hits 88 miles per hour... you’re gonna see some serious ****”!

G91 smacks Justin on the cheek patronisingly, and strides back, grinning.

KK: “What a scene folks, call this bad comedy if you like; but I see a feast for the eyes. An oblong ring, seven men occupying it, nothing but fast moving tarmac beneath. If anyone goes over the ropes, well, that’s his problem”.

The Juggernaut reaches the set speed, swaying dangerously around the corners, and Sixy honks the horn to signal the start of the match.

The Game thunders into Lance, instant hurricanrana, then knock’s him clear across the other side of the ring. JC is frozen in place. G91 looks up to him with an evil glint in his eye, but is sidelined by Justin, who punches him in the back and tries for a leglace takedown. It sort of works, its just that Justin is a little pipsqueak of a man, while the Game is built like a brick ****house. He turns and elbow drops onto the lead singer.

Meanwhile, HBK takes on Chris and Joey at the same time, clotheslining the both of them just before the truck almost sways out of control. He loses his footing and slides toward the edge, saving himself by grabbing the ropes.

LL: “Whoa! Almost a surprise loss there by HBK. Not that the Game would have been in any serious trouble, mind”.
KK: “Don’t be too sure Linda. Its true that N*Sync are hardly up to Pro Wrestler standards, however; the fact is that they go through a gruelling workout of their own. When they’re up on stage performing three hours a night to their screaming, deluded fans; they’re really put through their paces”.
LL: “That’s a good point Keith. Can they hold out against D-Next before they all go flying over the side of the mountain? Only time will tell”.

Joey got up and double-teamed the Game with JC, Chris went to work by hammering at the Game’s midsection. His punches were weak and feeble compared to the bone busting smacks G91 endured weekly in the AWF arena.

G91: “AND THAT’S SUPPOSED TO HURT IS IT”? He roared against the tortuous wind that beat against them all. In reply to their nothingness statements, G91 back flipped, pulling Joey and JC into the mat, then sprang up headfirst into Chris.

Sixy at the wheel, was loving every minute of it. She could hear over the radio everything that was going on, along with the two commentators dialogue. A signal on her ‘cop proximity alarm’ box sounded. She picked up her comm. radio and spoke into it:

Sixy: “This is Eager Beaver, this is Eager Beaver; what’s your problem pigs? Over”
Voice: “Look alive Eager Beaver, there’s a couple of crazy fans chasin’ your tail. They want close up action, so keep a look out sister. And don’t call us pigs. Over”.
Sixy: “That’s a big ten-four, narks. Got my eyes peeled, and the pedal to the metal. Ain’t no way they’re catching this lady and her crew”.

Sean O’ Con made a spectacular flying kick into the slowly recovering Lance, then suplexed him to within an inch of his life. Finding no sport in his little foe, he tossed him back like a guppie.

O’ Con: “Bah, this bass is nothing but a sprat! Come on Chris, let’s bust your pretty little head open”.

He nailed Chris with a suckapunch, then whipped him into the turnbuckle and crushed him with all his weight.

D-Next stood back for a moment to view the scene.

G91: “Damn, Sixy sure can drive a rig”.

O’ Con: “Yep, Stevie Wonder taught her everything he knew about stunt driving”.

G91: “You jest, Sean”.

O’ Con: “Yeah, whatever. HAD ENOUGH YET, N*FILTCH”?

JC and the boys looked ragged. Luckily, Justin came to their aid with a bright idea.

Justin: “We’re getting pussywhipped fellas. Its time to take the fight to them. N*Sync, merge and form ‘Vibrator’.

They all joined with their boss and began shifting and changing.

G91: “Holy ****, they’re a Gestalt team”!
O’Con: “Vibrator”?
G91: “Natch. They’re a buncha dicks”.

Unfortunately, the merging process failed completely, and they were left lying on the floor looking stupid.

G91: “Too much time spent in your own imaginary world boys, and that’s gonna cost ya”

He grabbed JC’s leg and swung him around into the opposite turnbuckle, taking him out of the fight for the moment.

HBK launched into Justin and pulverised him into the mat, all the while his opponent was screaming:

Justin: “My face, my face, my valuable face. Whimper”!

HBK chuckled and grinned sweetly as he destroyed Justin’s boyish good looks.

G91 was tearing into Joey when he noticed the mountainside looming before them. Keith and Linda saw it too.

KK: “And the fight is about to go thundering into a tunnel. Looks like we’re going to lose them for a while”.
LL: “No way Keith, the fans would never forgive us if we missed this now. Take us down there Bob”.
Bob the pilot: “What? No way ma’am, that’s crazy”
LL: “Crazy like a fox bob, here’s a little extra danger money for your good self”.
Bob the Pilot: “You’re speaking my language missy, one tunnel run coming up”.

The chopper banked into a steep dive and swung into position behind the 18-wheeler. The camera gave a perfect shot of HBK ramming Lance’s head off a turnbuckle. HBK noticed the chopper down at his level and smiled at the camera. He kept smashing Lance into the turnbuckle while he smiled and said; “Hi Mom! Look, I’m killing someone famous”!

G91, who had his hands full with Joey, Justin and Chris; shouted over to his teammate:

G91: “Tunnel coming up, Sean”.

O’ Con turned his foe around, looked him in the eye and said coldly:

O’ Con: “Still wanna go on that space mission Lancey”?
Lance: “Wha? Oh no, nooooooo”.
O’ Con: “Oh yes, yeeeeeeeeeeeees”!

He heaved Lance back, and then thrust him forward, flying over the ropes.

O’ Con: “Fly monkey boy, fly”!

In that instant they shot into the tunnel, and Lance smacked into the windscreen of the chopper. His face splattered wide, and he became a cruel Picasso of himself.

LL: “Ewwwwww, get that mess offa there Bob”.

Bob turned on the wipers, and smeared Lance further across the glass.

Bob: “Whoops! Sorry, forgot to switch on the cleaner nozzle first, heh”.

He toggled the cleaning fluid nozzle on the chopper yoke, and Lance became covered in rich soapy suds, before slowly sliding off the front, and smacking against the tarmac below.

The headlights of the chopper illuminated the scene on top of the rig. G91 smashed Chris into JC and body splashed them both. He looked over to the chopper’s spinning rotor blades, and looked back at Chris.

HBK: “Now Game, you wouldn’t possibly be thinking such a thing, would you”?
G91: “I don’t know what you mean, pal”.
HBK: “Like fun you don’t. Listen, there’s violence and there’s violence. I don’t think we can stretch that far”.
G91: “Maybe you’re right. Oh well”.

Suddenly, the Game caught sight of two crazy sports cars screaming up behind the truck, and underneath the chopper. The guys in the cars honked their horns and waved their fists out of the windows, cheering the violence”.

G91: “My fans, my beautiful fans. Lets show ‘em how much I love ‘em”.

The Game grabbed Chris and held him in front of him like a snowplough. From the head of the trailer he charged, knocking Joey and JC aside like skittles. As he reached the end of the ring he came to abrupt halt, still holding Chris out in front.

Chris, bruised, and doing a brilliant imitation of a prune; breathed a sigh of relief.

Then G91 threw him off the back of the truck, and he fell screaming to the asphalt below. The fans in the cars whooped with joy, and ran over Chris’ body to celebrate. One car physically leapt in the air as its front wheels caught Chris’ head.

LL: “Wow! What creativity by the Game. You know, I thought he would go for the rotor blades, but maybe that was just too obvious”.
KK: “The man’s a showman. People see the rotor blade trick all the time in today’s movies. Heck, even the kids are doing it”.
LL: “Riiiiiiiiiiight”.

There was light at the end of the tunnel. Sixy honked her horn again and they rocketed out, ploughing down the coastal road with a couple of blood stained cars behind them.

The chopper went into a steep climb and focused its camera’s down on the action once more. Justin, Joey and JC could be seen grouping together, hoping against hope that it would save them in some way.

KK: “There goes G91, streaking toward them like a raging bull. HBK, hanging back. Its all about the stragglers for him”.

The game connected with Joey most violently, and sent him flying backward, over the head of the cab. He landed on the bonnet, scaring the hell out of Sixy. She swerved the truck way too hard and tipped the huge machine up on its side, so that it was only travelling on nine wheels. Joey slid off the bonnet and went over the side of the mountain, careering over the jagged rocks and onto the considerably jaggier rocks below. The Chopper cam caught his descent, saw him come to a bloody halt about three quarters of the way down, and witnessed a pack of hungry mountain lions appear from nowhere to ravage his carcass.

KK: “What consideration the Game is showing for the environment. Doing his bit to save the animals, to conserve our planet. Let this be a lesson to all boy bands everywhere to take on impossible odds against vastly overpowered psychopaths on mountain roads”.
LL: “Excellent point Keith”.
Bob the pilot: “Shall I home in on his body some more”?
LL: “Good man Bob, here, have some more money”.
All: “Ha ha ha ha ha ha”!

Meanwhile, the truck still swayed uneasily on its side. Sixy refused to slow down, and the D-Next boys got even more of a rush by the sheer insanity of it all.

G91: “Holy cow this is frikkin’ awesome Sean. We should do this more often”.
O’ Con: “Oh hell yeah. But there’s still two more of the stinkin' bums need eliminating”.

The two men grasped the ropes as they pulled their way along to the head of the trailer where Justin and JC held on for dear life, clutching each other and crying like babies”.

One of the sports cars became over zealous and sped up. It drove right underneath the 18-wheeler and the guys inside tapped against the deck of the trailer, cheering louder and taking pictures.

Sixy saw a nasty bend ahead and swerved even wilder than before. The truck tipped back onto all its wheels and crushed the sports car underneath, causing a huge explosion and ripping half of the trailer apart.

G91: “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT”?

Flames and red hot metal shot into the air. The second sports car collided with the wreckage of the first and flew over it, up, into the air, and crash landed into the remaining half of the trailer. The car’s engine squealed in anguish and the guys inside hollered even louder. Sixy fought to control the beast she was now in charge of. As she wrestled valiantly, the Chopper came hurtling back to the scene.

LL: “HOLY COW”!
KK: “The truck is destroyed! It’s blown apart! But its still moving as fast as before! Where’s D-Next”?

Billowing smoke poured out of the back of the 18-wheeler, the ring on the roof was destroyed, two halves of rope flailing in the wind.

LL: “Look! There they are! They’re OK, thank god they’re OK”.
KK: “But JC isn’t”.

HBK elbows JC in the chin, then stomps his weedy frame. The truck passes under some low branches, so O’ Con lifts JC up and lets his head smack against some of the bigger branches. Blood sprays across the remaining half of the ring, and he pulls JC back down.

O’ Con: “Oooh looks like you’ve got a nasty nosebleed there JC. It must be the height up here what’s doing it. Here, I’ll sort you out”.

O’ Con grabs one of the flailing ropes and ties it around JC’s neck. He tosses the screaming JC forward and yells to G91:

HBK: “Droppin’ anchor Cap’n, these seas be too rough sir”.
G91: “Aye aye Bo’sun, drop away”.

HBK grins and boots JC in the behind. The little star soars out into the billowing smoke, the rope flies behind its captor, and suddenly pulls taught.

HBK: “Think it’s found a good landin’ spot”.

Underneath Sean, the sports car rocks uneasily. Its laying half in, and half out of the trailer. The crazy guys inside are jumping up and down in a mad frenzy. They holler to O’Con and one of the guys sticks his video camera out of the side window.

O’ Con walks over to the side and looks down to see what all the commotion is about. The guys cheer and salute him. He grins a wide, wicked smile and salutes back, and the car tips backward and hits the ground hard. They disappear into the smoke trail, and suddenly JC’s rope pulls extra tight, then snaps back in HBK’s direction. The end flies right up to him and he grabs it again, it’s covered in blood.
HBK smiles and chuckles to himself, then goes to find the Game.

Meanwhile, G91 is playing with Justin. The leader singer is showing tremendous spirit. The Game is batting him back and forth like a cat playing with a ball of yarn. Justin even manages to get a few punches in, albeit, namby pamby ones. Finally, Game stands and puts his hand out behind him.

HBK drops the sledgehammer into its master’s mitt, and the Game smiles evilly.

G91: “End of the road Justin.”

Justin makes one final stand. Knowing he’ll never be able to save himself, he spits out words, fighting back his pain:

Justin: “You may finish me, Game, but know this; you can never really kill us. Boy Bands will always be here. You take us out, another; even more derivative act will spring up in our place. We will always win, the souls of the kids are ours for our empty soul-less carcasses to plunder.”

The Game and HBK look at each other for a moment, then laugh.

G91: “Ha! You talk the talk, Timberlake; but here’s where you walk the walk. This is for common sense, this is for the AWF, and this… IS FOR ROCK!”

The Game swings his mighty hammer twice around his head like Thor, and smacks Justin out, and into the sea like a golf ball.

LL: “WOW!”

Justin goes sailing past the Chopper and out across the Pacific.

KK: “If he keeps going like that, we should meet him coming back in the other direction.”

Game and HBK roar with victory. G91 pumps his sledgehammer in the air, and Sixy honks the horn again and again. It is over, and N*Sync are so much worm food. Talent has won out over commercialism.

The huge 18-wheeler grinds to a halt, and Sixy dives out of the cab. G91 and HBK climb down from the trailer roof and look at the truck.
HBK: “Damn, we destroyed that piece of machinery. Have to buy ourselves a new one.”
Sixy: “Yeah, but it was worth it. You know, I really won’t miss those guys”.
HBK: “Such incredibly sadistic violence, but now I’ve got another secret for you.”
G91 & Sixy: “Oh yeah? What?”
HBK: “That wasn’t our truck”
Sixy: “Now way!”
HBK: “Way! It was the cWo’s! Amazing what you can do with a lick o’ paint isn’t it? Our one is safely secured back at HQ. I don’t think Clay and the boys will be too pleased about that, but it won’t matter, we’ll wipe the floor with ‘em at Autumn Annihilation.”
All: “Ha ha ha!”

The Chopper comes in to land alongside the rig. Linda Lovelace dashes out and congratulates D-Next.

LL: “Fantastic work you two. The streets are now safer for all of us”.
HBK: “Just doin’ our job, ma’am”.
LL: “And how! So with the next PPV some way off in the distance, and with some free time on your hands, what will D-Next do... next?”

Sixy, G91 and HBK all look at each other, grin; and turn to Linda:

All(as Warzone goes off the air): “We’re goin’ to Disneyland!”

*We cut back to Flec, looking completely bewildered*

Flec: I still have no clue what the hell those idiots were thinking! I may hate DN now as much as the next guy, but seriously…N Sync…WHERE ARE YOU NOW?!? A few weeks after this match, the AWF debuted something new to it’s audience. This match borrowed from the old WCW method of settling scores. This has become an annual tradition here in the AWF, allowing rival faction to battle in the most hostile of environments. It was once where the Horsemen dominated, now it is where DN runs amuck and sadly where just this year, the GPA perished. Here’s where it all started, Autumn Annihilation, October 2002 from Denver, Colorado…WAR GAMES I!

The War Games: Team AWF v Team cWo

As the ring is being cleared footage is shown of the previous Hell In A Cell Matches.

JFA: “Folks, the lights have dimmed, the cage is being lowered…and what we are about to see is something I can’t describe! No structure is quite like this…no match so dangerous…ten men will risk their careers…and I dare say their lives all to decide the fate of this company!”

AWF Wargames

JFA: Ladies and gentlemen, what you’re about to see here will be a first in the AWF’s history. Two rings, hell in a cell, and ten combatants using whatever they can find to beat the hell out of each other.
JHA: And anything is possible. The only way to win is to get your opponent, or opponents, to submit or surrender. They will come down one at a time, and go at it until someone has enough and gives up.
JFA: And with this bunch, there’s a lot of toughness to be had. No one in this match will give in so easily. Bodies are going to be broken, bruised, and beaten, and hell, I dare think we could be here all night. This may very well be the end-all, be-all of the AWF. These ten men will meet here for the very future of this business, and frankly if the Game and HBK can’t beat Lord Claypool and his cWo, ya gotta believe that no one can.
JHA: In that case, no one can! No way is Clay gonna give up in this match! And Galvy’s got the injured knee, and who knows if HBK will even show up! You saw what happened last week on Mayhem just as well as I did!
JFA: I don’t think the cWo should count on those two not appearing. Galvy and O’Con have no quit in them.
JHA: Neither does Lord Claypool!
JFA: But what about his compatriots?
JHA: They’re in the cWo for a reason. That reason is they’re as tough as Clay is!
JFA: That remains to be seen, but we’re about to witness history here tonight. Ladies and gentlemen, it’s time for the AWF War Games. We take you now to the back, where senior official Mike McCormick is standing by with HBK and Lord Claypool, reconfirming the rules.

MM: Do you both understand the order and the rules as they have been explained to you?
Clay: Yeah.
G91: Bet your sweet ass we do.
MM: Then you may return to your teams. Come out fighting.
Clay: See ya out there, Gamey.
G91: You better believe it.

Mike McCormick heads down to the ring a moment later, and no sooner is he holding the cell door open than the cWo theme blares, and Lord Claypool and his crew strut down the entrance ramp to chorus upon chorus of boos. Zarak makes no bones about it, climbing right in as his comrades take their places at one side of the cell, and starts looking under the ring for weapons, pulling out a chair and a 2 x 4, then a trash can before the DNext theme hits.

You think you can tell us what to do?
You think you can tell us what to wear?

The crowd erupts in an ovation as G91 appears atop the entrance ramp, Team AWF standing by his side, and Zarak is noticeably shaken, as the other four members bypass the ring to take their place on the opposite side of the cell to the cWo, to find that his first opponent, the only one not among them, is the Game.

JFA: And there he is, he may be the single toughest person in the AWF. From its very inception, G91 has been at the center of attention. He outlasted 93 men in the Royal Rumble. He is the two time AWF champion. He is the Game, and he is that damn good. And he is about to step into an environment that he has never seen before, but it will not intimidate him.
JHA: That’s for sure! The Game never backs down!

G91 tosses his water bottle aside and gets right into the cell. Zarak comes charging at him with a chair, but the Game slides away and drops him with the drop toe-hold. Galvy then grabs the 2 x 4 and nails Zarak in the back with it! Zarak howls in agony, and the Game goes to work on him, nailing him with rights and lefts, then slamming him into the turnbuckle and pinning his foot against Zarak’s throat for a few seconds before releasing him. He lets him sit there a moment before charging in and leveling Zarak with a clothesline!

JFA: Big start by the Game. Very aggressive, as always.
JHA: What is it you keep saying? He’s taking the fight to Zarak?
JFA: That’ll do, yes.
JHA: We should make note that new participants will appear every two minutes, so the cWo will get a handicap match here soon for a short while.
JFA: Very true. It won’t be until all the competitors are in the ring that we’ll really see the full scope of this match, but I tell you what, it’s already shaping up to be tremendous.

Back in the ring, Galvy whips Zarak off the ropes, nailing him with the knee to the face. Deciding that’s not enough punishment for someone’s face, he follows it up with a facebuster! He then finds the chair, bounces off the ropes, and nails Zarak in the face with it! Galvy almost instinctively goes for a pin, then pulls Zarak up, and runs him to the ropes, flipping him out and causing him to smash his body into the mesh of the cell! Zarak screams in pain, and just as Galvy goes over to him and applies the full nelson, “Walk” by Pantera hits! TC84 wastes no moment, dashing down the ramp and into the cell, blindsiding G91 with a drop-kick to the head! The Game releases Zarak, and despite hitting his head on the cage, gets right up and starts backing down TC. But TC’s hand finds a trash can lid, and he nails Galvy square in the head with it! The Game stumbles back, and TC continues to beat him in the head. Once up against the cage again, TC starts smashing Galvy’s face against the mesh, opening up a cut on his forehead. But Galvy pulls out of it, and no sooner does he start beating on TC, getting him back into the ring, than Zarak comes from behind with the chair in hand, smacking Galvy across the back! TC locks Galvy up in the half boston crab, but the Game refuses to submit. So Zarak heads back under the ring, pulling out a barbed wire bat, a couple road signs, more chairs, and a metal chain!

JFA: Oh no, tell me he isn’t gonna do this!
JHA: He might give new definition to the term choke chain!

Indeed, almost on cue, Zarak gets in the ring and wraps the chain around Galvy’s throat. As he starts to tug on it, the buzzer blares and Sixswitch is let into the match! Six cruises to the ring with a purpose, getting right in and nailing TC in the head to break up the Boston crab! Zarak releases as well, whipping Six across the back with the chain. TC then pushes Six into the ropes, grabbing hold of one side of the chain, and clotheslining Six with it as he bounces back out! The crowd lets out an audible “Ooooh,” but Six pops right back up, surprising both of them with a double clothesline!

By this time, Galvy is back on his feet, albeit somewhat dazed. Six tries to coach him a little bit, then TC nails him from behind, pushing him into the Game. Six turns right away, only to find a chair suddenly pitched into his hands, and before he can react, TC hits the Vandaminator! But as TC celebrates, he is ambushed by the Game! Galvy drops him, then starts smacking his face into the mat. He’s at it a few seconds, but then in comes Zarak, nailing Galvy in the face with the chain! The Game’s blood splatters on the mat as he falls off TC, but as Zarak goes to nail him again, Six comes in, spearing Zarak! He gets Zarak in a chokehold, trying to cut off the blood flow.

JFA: Sixswitch trying to get Zarak to submit here...
JHA: Try all he might, it’s not gonna happen! And if Zarak passes out, it won’t matter! He’s got to say he gives up! So we could see a solid choke-out, and it would have no impact on the match!
JFA: Strange but true, folks, and I don’t honestly think it matters to Sixswitch here...he’s going to do whatever it takes to get the advantage for the AWF. It’s kill or be killed in there, after all.
JHA: And boy is Six showing that ruthless aggression! He’s set to kill, kill, kill!

About then, the buzzer is heard yet again. Six turns his head, letting up on Zarak, to see The Big Ragebowski strutting toward the door. Zarak squirms away, and takes advantage of the situation to bounce off the ropes and clothesline Six to the mat! He starts pounding away on him as Rage enters the fray, helping TC with the Game, whipping him into the ropes, and looking for the double clothesline, but Galvy ducks it, bounces back off the opposite ropes, and levels both with a flying clothesline! He then slides out of the ring, blood trickling down his forehead from the reopened cut, bypasses the barbed wire 2 x 4, and digs out a sledgehammer! The crowd erupts in an ovation as they see him hold it up. Zarak sees it as well and tries to blindside the Game, but Galvy sidesteps him, then whallops him in the back with the sledge! Zarak crumples to the ground, and Galvy pulls him up by the hair, leaning him up against the ring, and nails him in the stomach with the sledge! Zarak howls, and drops forward, holding his stomach in pain.

While this was happening, Sixswitch got right up, and landed a big leg drop on TC. He quickly moved on to Rage, but got leveled by a thunderous clothesline. Rage found the busted 2 x 4 nearby, and started whipping Six across the back with it! TC got him in the headlock as this was happening, and began tugging, wrenching Six’s neck muscles, trying to get him to give. But before such a thing could happen, Galvy intervened, getting back up on the ring apron, and with one hand, swinging the sledgehammer into the unsuspecting Ragebowski’s chest! Rage falls clear out of the ring, banging into the cage, and when TC no longer hears the beating from behind, he turns to see the Game getting back in the ring, and wisely slithers away from Six. But he goes under the ring, pulling out a fire extinguisher and a pair of kendo sticks. As Galvy comes over, sledge in hand, to give him a whack, TC gets the extinguisher in hand, and blasts the Game in the face! Galvy stumbles back, dropping the sledge as he tries to get the chemical out of his eyes, allowing TC to get the kendo sticks, slide in, and start nailing the Game in the knees repeatedly!

JFA: TC, going to work now on the injured knee of the Game.
JHA: He’s picking his strategy, and it’s looking flawless!
JFA: But conversely, I don’t think you’ll see the Game give up. As long as he has a breath left in his body, Galvy is going to compete. TC might beat him down here, but he won’t beat him out.
JHA: I can’t disagree with that, there is no quit in the Game! But TC’s tenacious, he’s got to take advantage of the situation while the cWo still has it! The next guy will be out here any minute now!
JFA: Very true. The odds will be even here momentarily.

Six then tackles TC from the side, and begins to wail away on him with rights as the Game finally gets a chance to recover. But on the other side of it, Rage is back to his feet, and spies the Game right in his sights. He charges, dumping him over the ropes and into the mesh! Galvy holds his back in agony as Rage comes back out after him, and runs him into the ringpost! But Galvy counters as Rage tries to slam him into the cell again, whipping Rage into it himself! Galvy then charges, laying a vicious elbow into the gut of Rage.

Just then the buzzer blares!

The crowd gets to their feet again as Blaster_86 steps to the door to the cell. He stands there for a few moments, evaluates the situation within, then steps in to even the odds for team AWF. Seeing Zarak down, he gets in the ring with Six, and pulls his former arch-nemesis to his feet, leaning him into the turnbuckle. Blaster then nails TC with a clothesline, but as Six goes to do the same, TC gets his feet up and kicks him aside. TC jumps right up to the ropes, surprising both his adversaries with a modified drop-kick, which lands Six square on his face! TC carries his own momentum into the ropes, leveling a surprised Blaster with a flying clothesline! Scampering up, and taking no time for catching his breath, TC heads back to the top rope. The crowd knows what is coming, and boos him the whole way, but he flies off and nails Blaster with the 5-star frog splash!

JFA: By God, by God TC is taking the fight to his rivals! Move after move, he is singlehandedly taking down two men in the ring! Now, he’s wrapping Blaster in that half-Boston crab we’ve seen a couple times already, but here comes the Game!

Galvy slides in, throwing a hip into TC’s face, causing him to break the hold. Galvy goes to grab TC, but TC slides over into the other ring. Galvy looks at the move a bit cockeyed, then turns around, walking right into a chair shot from the revived Lord Zarak! But Blaster is up as well, and he dodges the chair, and drops Zarak with a neckbreaker. Zarak staggers, and Blaster sees an opportunity. He bulldogs Zarak to the mat, then nails him with the Soundsault! But while this is going on, Rage has been getting back up and into the ring! He nails Blaster in the back, getting him off of Zarak, but all that gets Rage is a solid right to the face from the Game! Rage slides out of the ring and out of the cell!

JFA: Isn’t that giving up?
JHA: I don’t think so! I don’t know what it is, but–oh my God, he’s climbing up the cell!
JFA: And the Game, the Game is going up after him!

Rage gets to the top first, and clotheslines Galvy on the trap door as he gets up there. Galvy pops back up, and begins beating Rage in the face with rights, pushing him towards the back of the cage. But Rage ducks away, slides through the Game’s legs, and fires a drop kick into his back, almost sending Galvy off the top of the cell! The Game does lose his footing, but his hands get hold of the rail, and his feet get a grip as well. Rage tries to kick the Game’s hands, but Galvy is quick to react and takes a step down. Rage then goes to reach over, but Galvy again takes a couple steps out of his opponent’s reach.

Inside the ring, Six has gotten up and pursued TC into the second ring, while Zarak has recovered and is stomping away on Blaster in the corner. Six goes to baseball slide into Blaster, but gets nothing but post in the crotch as the former AWF champ slides away. At the same time, TC begins firing back at Sixswitch, pushing him off the ropes into a spinning heel kick. He then gets to the second rope and nails him with a modified moonsault! Six kicks him off, and drops him with a clothesline. Six shouts for him to get up, and levels TC with another clothesline! Six then gets in and applies the front-face lock. TC’s neck begins to strain, but he refuses to tap.

Suddenly, the buzzer goes off, and Ravage slides into the cell. He disregards the goings-on outside of the rings, bypasses the first ring, and goes right to the top of the turnbuckle, nailing Six with a leg drop, breaking the hold! He then starts stomping on Six mercilessly. But Blaster has recovered in the other ring, and after bringing Zarak down with a thunderous bulldog-Soundsault combo, springs off the top rope of the first ring, flying into the second, and delivering a flying body block to Ravage! Blaster wastes no time at all, wrapping up the former tag team champion in the Walls of Blaster! Ravage, being the fresh man in the ring, takes a couple puffs of breath, then uses his legs to push Blaster to the ground, locking him up in a bridge! If it was a regular match, Ravage would have gotten the three, but as it is, he wraps his hands around Blaster’s ankles, pulling on them in an effort to stretch Blaster’s back in a very unconventional way. But Sixswitch gets up to the top rope, and nails Ravage with a swanton bomb! Ravage bounces off of Blaster, but as Sixswitch goes to capitalize on the opportunity, TC blindsides him with a drop-kick, shoving him into the turnbuckle! TC quickly slides out of the second ring, digging under it for another chair! He gets right back into the ring, and Six staggers towards him. Suddenly, TC tosses him the chair and nails him with the second Vandaminator of the night!

Zarak, meantime, has gone outside, and pulls an unsuspecting Galvy off the cell! He bounces the surprised Game’s head off the Dutch announce table a few times, but Galvy counters, nailing Zarak in the gut with rights and lefts. He super-kicks Zarak square in the chest, then starts clearing off the Spanish announce table! He pulls Zarak over, and gets on top of the table, preparing to pedigree Zarak through it, but Rage comes flying off the cell, crushing the Game through the announce table!

JFA: MY GOD! OH MY GOD! HE KILLED HIM!!!! MIRAGE, MIRAGE JUST KILLED THE GAME!
JHA: I don’t believe it!!!! No way he just did that!
JFA: In my years as a wrestling announcer, I swear I have never, NEVER seen that before! Men have been tossed off the cell and into tables, but never can I remember seeing someone show that kind of disregard for his own personal safety as Ragebowski just showed here tonight!
JHA: Look inside the ring! Look at the expression on Blaster’s face, he’s the only one who saw it, and his mouth is just gaping from it!

From behind, TC pulls Blaster by the leg, and drops an elbow on his thigh. Blaster tries to pull out of it, but TC is able to get a few more in before he loses his grip. Blaster then hobbles to his feet and stands against the ropes. Ravage is back to his feet, and TC signals him. He goes to the top rope as Ravage choke-slams Blaster, then drops the five-star frog splash on the former champ! Each man wraps up a leg, pulling with all their might, but Blaster just shakes his head, refusing to tap.

Suddenly, the buzzer sounds, and UPF first clotheslines Zarak, who is staggering near where Team AWF is, to the ground, then scampers into the cell, knowing he can do nothing for the Game, and grabs the barb-wire 2 x 4. He smirks, gets into the second ring, and smashes TC and Ravage across their backs with it! Sixswitch is getting to his feet by this time, and finds the chair used to level him nearby. UPF holds TC down, and Six does the same to Ravage, nailing him in the throat with the chair as UPF rakes the barbed wire across TC’s back! Several audience members cringe at this sight, and so do JFA and JHA. Several small cuts open up on TC’s back, but suddenly Zarak comes in and makes the save, drop-kicking a surprised UPF off his friend. Zarak grabs the 2 x 4 from his hand, and starts smacking UPF with it repeatedly! UPF slides out after a couple shots, then back in and skitters through the carnage to the other ring and back out, digging under it and pulling out a table! He slides it into the ring, then finds another, sliding it in on top of it! But Zarak has pursued him, and baseball slides UPF into the cell! UPF is able to duck a swing of the barbed wire 2 x 4, then uses Zarak’s momentum to smack his face into the mesh. UPF then climbs into the ring and starts setting the tables up next to one another.

Outside, Rage has started to move, pulling himself away from Galvy, who is twitching a bit, but otherwise doing very little. He sees Sixswitch holding Ravage down, and an injured TC and Blaster both getting to their feet slowly. Rage can barely keep his balance as he goes to return to the cell and tip the odds in favor of his team. But UPF sees him, and kicks him into the door the moment it is closed behind him! Zarak is in the ring by this time, and he bounces UPF off the ropes and into an elbow to the head. Zarak then grabs UPF, taking him over to the turnbuckle, smacking his head off it over and over again!


In the other ring, Blaster and TC have begun trading blows. TC whips Blaster off the ropes, but telegraphs his move and gets a kick to the face for it. Blaster quickly goes off the ropes again, leveling TC with a clothesline from hell! As quickly as he can, Blaster pulls TC up and sets him up, carrying him around the ring a moment, then dropping him with the Stiff Beat! Where he would normally go for the pin, instead Blaster wraps his archenemy in the Walls of Blaster. TC screams, and it seems to catch Ravage’s attention, as he forces his way out from under Sixswitch and nails Blaster with a clothesline from behind that sends the former champ into the turnbuckle. He staggers back out into a scoop slam, but as Ravage turns, he gets a kick to the gut, then suddenly Sixswitch nails him with the Sixshooter!

JFA: How the hell’d he do that! It never ceases to amaze me not only how he ever does that move, but how he mustered that effort out of himself like that, I don’t know!
JHA: We’re seeing it all here tonight, J! But no one’s really come close to actually winning this match yet! I can’t believe we’ll actually get to see the last two participants! I thought it would be long over by now!
JFA: It goes to show you, never underestimate heart in this business. These eight men have gone through hell in the cell and outside of it, and they continue to fight, as though their futures, hell their very lives, are dependant on the outcome!

Zarak and Rage get in on UPF the moment he finishes setting up the tables. They beat him into the corner, and as Rage goes to work on him, Zarak heads over to the tables, picks one up, and sets it on top of the other! He then returns to help Rage take UPF apart, kicking him in the chest repeatedly. But Rage is turned around by a fast-moving Sixswitch, who has left the second ring, and within moments he is double teamed by the two cWo members. But UPF is not out of things, and he tackles Zarak while Rage and Six battle each other.

Meantime, Blaster vultures in on TC, hitting him in the head repeatedly. But Ravage comes from behind, taking Blaster’s legs out from under his feet with a sweep kick. He puts him in a headlock as TC tries to wrap up his legs in the half Boston crab, but Blaster gets free of both. He dumps TC over the ropes, and somehow, in that one foot area between the two rings, TC gets caught! He squirms, but he can’t seem to get free! This enables Blaster to take control of things with Ravage, and means the match is even for the time being.

That is, until the buzzer hits. The boos cascade down as the AWF Champion tosses his belt down, and marches to the war games with a purpose. And that purpose is apparent as he bypasses the cell in favor of going over to the wrecked Spanish announce table and attempting to pick up the pieces of Galvy. But as he goes to grab the Game by the hair, Galvy surprises him by sitting straight up! He stares dead red into Clay’s shocked eyes, then in one fluid motion, gets up and clotheslines the cWo leader into the wall of the cell!

JFA: By God! It looks like the Game has caught his second wind!
JHA: This is trouble! Don’t let him take advantage of you, Clay!
JFA: I think that warning is about twenty seconds too late!

Galvy goes to work on Clay, punching him in the head over and over again, then pulling him over to the cell door. Galvy takes it from Mike McCormick, and smacks it into Clay’s head! After that, he grabs Clay and slings him into the ring, seeing the two tables stacked on top of one another. He looks at it curiously a moment, then starts back on Clay, whipping him off the ropes and into the sidewalk slam. This is followed by Six clotheslining Rage down, and Rage lands on top of his boss! Galvy snickers, then takes a look to see Zarak and UPF going at it in the corner, locking each other in matching headlocks. He doesn’t see TC, however, but notices Blaster going off the ropes of the second ring and into a chokeslam by Ravage! Galvy decides it’s time to end it, and has Sixswitch help him lock in a double armbar submission on Rage. Rage howls, stuck with being on his knees, but suddenly, his left arm is released as TC nails the Game in the back of the head! This leaves Six to put in a hammerlock, and Clay gets to his feet as TC wraps the Game’s arms behind his back, and starts punching Galvy in the face, causing the cut to start bleeding again. It had caked over while Galvy was laying in the rubble of the Spanish announce table, but now it had begun to bleed once more.

After a few shots, Clay starts kicking the Game in the ribs. His pain is evident, but he is able to wrest away from TC, who gets an errant boot in the face from Clay. Galvy slides under the tables and out of the ring, where he finds, much to his delight, the sledge! He twirls it on two fingers, and Clay, who was about to go out after him, decides to back off. Instead, he breaks Rage and Six apart, and instructs Rage to get at Galvy from behind and get the sledge from him. Rage obliges, sliding out and stalking the Game from behind, but without any warning, Galvy turns and slams the sledge into Rage’s stomach! Rage drops to the ground in a heap as the Game gets back into the ring, stalking Clay, who is begging for mercy. As Galvy brings the hammer back, TC suddenly grabs it and tosses it down! He drops a neckbreaker on the Game, then shoves the tables off to one corner, using the ropes they had been against to bounce off of, and hit the Rolling Thunder! Clay, meantime, goes under the ring, finding one more useful item; another chair! He barks a couple instructions to TC, who sets up the Game in the corner! Clay holds the chair to Galvy’s face as TC climbs to the opposite turnbuckle!

JFA: Oh my God, no way...no way is he going to do this!
JHA: Yes!! YESSS, he is!!! Van Terminator! Here it comes!

TC takes one good look, then jumps off and nails Galvy with the Van Terminator! The crowd erupts in an ovation for the move, and TC attempts to take a curtain call, but gets dumped over the ropes and into the cage mesh by Six! Clay then gets up, but gets leveled by a clothesline! In the other ring, Ravage drops Blaster with a suplex, then another, then another until he has hit six of them in a row! Suddenly, however, the sickening sound of steel against skull echoes throughout the arena, as Sixswitch nails Zarak with the chair! This brings an enraged Ravage over to the turnbuckle, climbing up, and jumping over the two sets of ropes, dropping Six and UPF with the double flying clothesline!

JFA: By God!!!! Every man in the ring is down! Ravage, Ravage is the only one still standing!
JHA: Wait, Clay’s starting to move!
JFA: Lord Claypool getting up here, with a little help from his crony...
JHA: Crony???? Ravage is a loyal cWo member, no more, no less!
JFA: You say...

Suddenly, the buzzer sounds.

The crowd leaps to its collective feet, erupting in applause as the final member of this fray, HBK Sean O’Con, stands before Claypool at the door to the cell! Claypool sees him, and stares him down. Neither one moves, all others forsaken, their focus only on one another. Then Clay breaks the reverie, diving out of the ring and out of the cell. O’Con comes down the ramp, and meets Clay halfway. The two begin trading blows, and Clay winds up with his back against the cell, O’Con chopping away at him. Whereas inside, Ravage has moved the tables back into position in the center of the ring, and grabs the prone Game by the hair, preparing to set him up for a likely powerbomb into the two tables, but Galvy reverses out of it, and rolls into the second ring, where Blaster is to his feet. And when Ravage pursues the Game, Blaster takes the barbed wire 2 x 4 in hand, and whacks Ravage in the chest with it! But suddenly, Zarak is back in, and tackles Blaster from behind with a stop sign! He takes a swing at Galvy, who ducks, then reverses the momentum into a neckbreaker! Galvy immediately grabs Zarak, and sets him up.

JHA: Oh no!
JFA: Pedigree! Pedigree! Zarak, Zarak may have been destroyed by that move!
JHA: He can’t do that!
JFA: Why not?
JHA: Cuz I didn’t say he could!
JFA: In any case, the cell is still open...HBK and Lord Claypool have to get inside so the refs can lock it, but they aren’t apparently in any hurry to oblige the refs.

Back outside, Clay delivers a forearm to HBK, then another, then another. He follows that up with a clothesline on the ramp, and starts climbing up the side of the cell as HBK recovers. HBK tries to get hold of Clay’s foot, but the AWF champ is already out of reach by the time O’Con is able to make his try at him. So O’Con heads up the cell after him, the crowd roaring in anticipation. O’Con lunges at Clay once on the roof, but steps on the trap door, located above the first ring, and nearly breaks through it! With the loss of footing, Clay gets the advantage, and starts hitting O’Con with elbows to the head, trying to keep him off his feet. But O’Con sneaks in a low blow, gets up, and drops a staggering Clay with the HeartBrend Kick!

Inside, Ravage is back up, and has locked Blaster in the ankle-lock! But Galvy is right there, and boots Rav square in the chin. The momentum pushes Rav into the ropes, and he bounces back off into a double sidewalk slam! Blaster and Galvy exchange approving looks, and Galvy tells Blaster what he needs to do, and Blaster does it, locking Rav in the Walls! But from nowhere, TC flies from the first ring into the second, delivering a flying bodyblock to Blaster, forcing him to break the hold! Galvy pulls TC off by the hair, and TC’s back smacks into the barbed wire 2 x 4! But as Galvy goes after him, he finds his ankle being held by Zarak! He tries to shake him off, but as he does and looks up, he is nailed in the face with a steel chair by Ragebowski! But Six has the sledge by this point, and slams it into Rage’s knee! Rage falls, clutching it, and Six climbs into the second ring and starts trying to hit Zarak with the hammer, but the former Euro champ is able to roll out of the way, and sweeps Six’s legs out from under him! Six falls awkwardly, and smacks his head on the hammer!

JFA: Oh my God! Sixswitch just fell onto that sledge hammer! He’s gotta be out cold!
JHA: What a move by Zarak! I never saw that coming!

This brings UPF into the second ring, leaving the first one empty. UPF goes to Zarak, slides him back into the other ring, and starts going to town on him with boots. Blaster joins him straightaway, and UPF opts to let the tapedeck have him, returning to the other ring to check on his teammates. As he goes, Blaster tosses Zarak over the ropes, slamming his back into the door! The door flies open, and Zarak rolls out. Blaster, focused, follows him, grabs him by the hair, and starts smacking his head on the partition, the fans in the front row jumping to their feet and cheering at every hit. And soon, Blaster has found his way over to the announce tables. He smacks Zarak’s head off the only remaining table, tossing the cover and the monitors off it, and screaming at JFA and JHA to scram.

JHA: Is he doing what I think?
JFA: He might very well be!

Sure enough, Blaster pulls Zarak up on top of the announce table with him. He looks to the crowd, who start voicing their approval by chanting Blaster’s name. Blaster smirks, then sets Zarak up.

JHA: Oh God! No, don’t do this! Don’t do it, do you hear me!!!!
JFA: I don’t think he’s listening!

Blaster slams Zarak through the table with an emphatic Stiff Beat!

JFA: STIFF BEAT!!!! STIFF BEAT!!!! HE MAY HAVE KILLED ZARAK OUTRIGHT!

Both men lay there as the crowd starts chanting “Holy sh*t!” JFA and JHA then return to their chairs just as Ravage and TC start assaulting UPF, slamming him into the corner. TC clotheslines him, but Ravage is surprised from behind by the still-bleeding Game! Galvy nails him with the barbed wire 2 x 4, tosses it down, but as he goes to take out TC, TC nails him with a spinning-heel kick, and Galvy lands on the barbed wire! But UPF picks up the slack, finding the chair nearby and braining TC with it! TC crumples to the mat next to Rage, who is still holding his knee in agony.

On the top of the cell, HBK and Claypool continue to battle it out. O’Con had attempted an HDD on the top of the cell, but Clay had recovered enough to get out of it. So the two trade blows, back and forth, back and forth. Neither one is giving away anything to the other, and they continue to fight near the trap door. Both step lightly when they find themselves upon it, and try to slam the other one on top of it. But neither man has left his feet since Clay went down from the HeartBrend kick.

JFA: A mistake in this situation up top is inevitable. One of these men will get overzealous and make an error that might cost not only him, but his team as well.
JHA: You don’t wanna be that guy, whichever one he will be. The match itself may rest on what goes on up there, and who makes the mistake!

That person is Clay, as he goes to clothesline O’Con, but HBK ducks under it and drops Clay with a neckbreaker! O’Con pounds him with a few rights after that, taking full advantage of being the fresher man of the two. He then scoops Clay up, and slams him not on, but through the trap door! HBK maintains the hold as both men fall through the roof of the cell and through the two tables stacked atop each other in the first ring!

JFA: MY GOD!!!!!!! DID THAT JUST HAPPEN!!! O’CON HAS DESTROYED CLAYPOOL, AND DESTROYED HIMSELF AS WELL!!!!!
JHA: NO WAY!!!!!! Two men through two tables?!?!?! It’s not possible!!!
JFA: I’d never have believed it if I hadn’t seen it myself!!! A scoop slam through the weak trap door, carrying both men through two vertically stacked tables! I swear by everything holy, they are both broken in half!

UPF slides over to check on O’Con, but as he is down, Ravage nails him in the back of the head with the handle of the sledge! UPF collapses, likely concussed, and a bit of blood drips out. But as Ravage turns, he is face to face with Galvy. The Game grabs him by the throat, tossing him back into the second ring. The hammer flies aside, disappearing against the cage somewhere, and Galvy drops Rav with the sidewalk slam. He then tosses TC over the ropes between the two rings, back into the first, near the now three-man carnage therein. Galvy then sets Ravage up, and nails him with the pedigree, right on top of the barbed wire 2 x 4! Rav bounces off of it, landing on his back nearby, but Galvy grabs him, places his chest on the barbed wire, and locks in the crossface!

JFA: Hold on! The Game may have him here! Ravage’s chest scraping against that barbed wire! The crossface on top of it! How can one man hold out!
JHA: I don’t know! Hold on, Ravage!

But Ravage can’t! He vigorously taps out, giving the win of the War Games to team AWF!

JHA: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

RA: Here are your winners, by submission, Team AWF!!!

JFA: I can’t believe it, the Game, caked in his own blood, picking up the victory for his team, a team that took everything they got. There is no way any one man could have won this match for them. This was a team effort, and it will be something for all five to be proud of one day.
JHA: If O’Con’s even still alive!
JFA: Galvy now going over to check on his fellow Degenerate...O’Con is moving, I’m glad to say, and so is Lord Claypool.
JHA: Phew! Thought we lost someone of value there!
JFA: O’Con?
JHA: Claypool!

TC slides into the second ring, bypassing Sixswitch, who is going over to help with UPF, and takes a look at his tag team partner. Ravage is holding his scraped chest near the carnage that is Ragebowski. Rage is up on one leg by this point, holding himself against the ropes. TC pulls Rav to his feet and gives him a hard shove to the corner.

JFA: UH OH…

Team AWF exits from the side celebrating, taunting….giving DN chops to the Commissioner who has run in side the Cell.

JHA: The boss doesn’t look pleased here!
JFA: No…not in the least! And the entire cWo is glaring down Ravage who is slumped bleeding badly in the corner…and he’s the one who said HE would win the thing for the team!
JHA: And those Degenerate AWF people…they make me sick! Look at them!
JFA: Well anyway folks, we’ve seen it all here tonight. Ten men almost destroyed each other, but the AWF, the AWF has prevailed over the cWo once again! But what does this mean for our illustrious commissioner! We’ll find out on Warzone...goodnight everybody!

[Galvatron91]

Flec: WOW! The violence…the bloodshed! AHHHH! From one cage to the next, this one comes as one of my personal favorite matches…in 2003, that lame brain Commissioner Vaccaro actually came up with something brilliant…that match was the Iron Gauntlet…and here it is!
The AWF Iron Gauntlet Match: 28 September 2003, Safeco Field in Seattle, Washington: The Game G91 (c) vs. King vs. The Lock vs. Redstreak vs. Tempest vs. Thundercracker

We return to the arena as the cell has been fully lowered and the door opened. Two referees stand in the aisle outside the cell, with another inside the ring, along with the ring announcer.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the following contest is the special Iron Gauntlet Match; and it is for the Archive Wrestling Federation Championship!”

A cheer fills Safeco Field.

“First, please allow me to explain the rules. There are six competitors involved in the match. Earlier tonight, a random drawing determined their order of entry. The match will commence with three men inside the Cell, under Triple Threat Elimination Rules. When one man has been eliminated, either by pinfall or by submission, he will leave the cell and be replaced by the next man in the order of entry, until all six men have entered. At the point where the sixth man enters, the match will proceed as a standard elimination Triple Threat, with the last man remaining being declared the Archive Wrestling Federation Champion.”

JHA: “Word for word what I’ve got written down here.”
JFA: “And somebody out there actually believes that. Huge match on the way… whenever somebody’s eliminated, they’re going to be replaced by somebody fresh. The three men who start are going to be at a huge disadvantage.”
JHA: “I hope the Game is the first out…”
JFA: “Well, we’re about to find out…”

The mother****ers got in my head
Trying to make me someone else instead

JHA: “Oh NO.”

“Introducing first, the man who drew number 1. From Detroit, Michigan… and representing AWF Warzone – Redstreak!”

JHA: “No, no, no, no, no.”
JFA: “Well, he strives to be number 1… and it looks like tonight that’s just what he is! Redstreak being given a mountain to climb, here. He may argue that somebody had to be number one, but you can bet he won’t have wanted it to be him. He’ll have to go through five men to walk out of here with the gold!”
JHA: “No, he won’t! He won’t… he’ll only have to be the last man in there. If that means just pinning one guy, it makes no difference… if he’s smart, he’ll hide under the ring until the end!”
JFA: “I don’t think he’s got it in him to take that way out. Former Intercontinental Champion, also a four time Hardcore Champion. We’ve seen new holders of both those titles crowned tonight, he may hope that’s an omen. He’s been in some of the most brutal matches in AWF history, but is he prepared to endure five men in this monstrous structure?”
JHA: “Definitely. But, as I said, he doesn’t have to – all he needs to do is be about at the end.”

Reaching the end of the aisle, Redstreak looks up at the cell one last time, before stepping through the door and jumping onto the apron. The door closes behind him as the music fades into the background.

“And now, the man who drew number 2…”

JHA: “Who’s it gonna be? If it’s Thundercracker, I’d hate to be the man out third…”
JFA: “I’ll echo that sentiment… those two would almost certainly make it a handicap match for as long as possible…”

It’s time to play the GAME
Yeahahah

JHA: “Good god.”

We fail to see
How destructive we can be
Taking without giving back
Till the damage can be seen
Can you see? Can you see?

JFA: “The Game! The Game is the second man out… the AWF Champion will be in there from the start. And I think Redstreak may be re-evaluating his strategy… I doubt that Galvatron91 is going to let anybody fade out of the match.”
JHA: “Dammit… the Game being out there first means that he’s got the odds against him… but Redstreak’s going to be in there with him. I was hoping Red would be able to come in when he’s worn down, or maybe even eliminated. Now he’s got to deal with him fresh!”

“From St Paul, Minnesota… the Archive Wrestling Federation Champion – The Game, Galvatron91!”

JFA: “You can see the determination etched upon the Champion’s face. One of only two men to have held that title three times. He defeated StoneCold Skywarp for it. He defeated The Ghost for it. And, only last month, he defeated his best friend, The HeartBrend Kid, for it. And you know he’ll be out here giving it everything he’s got – not just for himself, but also for the memory of his buddy. He won’t want this to be a short reign…”
JHA: “Oh, will you stop it? Yeah, yeah, we all know what happened. Boo the hell hoo. Now shut up and get on with it before I have to find a bucket.”

Stopping outside the cell, the Game stares intently through the mesh and into the ring. He hands his water bottle to an attendant without taking his customary last sip, and then unbuckles his belt. He stares at it for a brief moment, before nodding his head in respect and passing it to one of the outside officials. The door is opened and he steps through, choosing to walk around the outside of the ring and stand at ringside, rather than enter the squared circle quite yet.

Rage Against the Machine’s Wake Up starts to fill Safeco Field.

“And the third man, the final man to start the match… from Mandurah, Australia… the 2003 AWF Lord of the Mat – Tempest!”

JFA: “And what a huge opportunity it is for this man! The most inexperienced competitor in the match, and many would say by rights the only person who should be receiving the title shot.”
JHA: “Not if you ask anybody else in the match…”
JFA: “Certainly not. King, Redstreak and the Lock all had reason to complain in the events that resulted in Tempest becoming the Lord of the Mat. But nobody can argue with this young man’s ability. He’s carved quite a reputation for himself on Warzone… Was clutching the Championship belt come the end of the night on Wednesday. Will that be repeated tonight?”
JHA: “I certainly hope not.”
JFA: “But one thing you can’t say about him is that he’s ever faced anything like this before… the Iron Gauntlet match. It’ll be Tempest, Redstreak and the Game starting things off. When one man is eliminated, they’ll be replaced. By whom, we don’t know. Thundercracker, King and The Lock are all standing by…”

Marching slowly down the aisle, Tempest stares up in awe at the devilish structure, before swallowing and stepping through the door.

JFA: “Okay, the door is locked. Only three men and the referee in there… signals for the bell and we’re officially underway. First ever Iron Gauntlet Match.”
JHA: “So… why aren’t they doing anything?”
JFA: “All three men starting out coyly. The Game up on the apron, Redstreak in the corner on the far side… Tempest stood in the middle of the ring. Each of them very cautious… nobody wanting to commit themselves quite yet.”

Slowly, G91 steps through the ropes and completes the trio in-ring. Eye signals are exchanged between the three men, as they try to assess who should be taken out first.

JFA: “Very careful in the early going… feeling each other out. The Game slowly cutting across the ring… nearing Redstreak… signals being exchanged here. I doubt anybody had any real gameplan coming in, nobody knew what the match would involve.”
JHA: “I did.”
JFA: “I don’t think we’ll see a lot of chain-wrestling in this match… once it gets going… And we’re off! The Game and Redstreak just lunging at Tempest in unison. They’ve identified the biggest threat, it seems. Not often you expect to see G91 and Red working together. Hammering away on the big man. Whip him to the ropes together, now… hands linked for a double clothesline? Ducked by Tempest and… The Game just nailing Redstreak with a short clothesline! Lateral press – one! Two! Kicked out by Redstreak. Tempest making no attempt to break it up.”
JHA: “That is dispicable! He just turned on Redstreak the first chance he got!”
JFA: “The Game saw an opening and went for it, J. Nothing illegal in it… pulling Redstreak up now. Oh my god…”
JHA: “Nothing illegal in that, either!”
JFA: “Redstreak with a low blow to the Game… taking his frustrations out in the most underhand way possible… grabbing G91 and slams him facefirst into the top turnbuckle. Holding his throat across the top rope now… arm wrapped around under the rope, almost as if he were going to perform a snapmare, but choking the Champion instead.”

Standing back and watching for a moment, Tempest makes his move, slamming a single axehandle blow down onto Redstreak’s upper back to break up the choke. Dragging him away with a waistlock takedown, Tempest allows Redstreak to clamber back up before a snap suplex drives him backfirst into the canvas.

JFA: “Tempest unloading on Redstreak, now. Floats across to the cover… shoulder comes up after one, though.”
JHA: “I hardly think you’re going to be able to pin Redstreak with a suplex of all things…”
JFA: “Tempest’s no ordinary competitor, J. I wouldn’t rule out anything with him. Tempest scooping Redstreak up… lifts him hiiigh with that gorilla press… and the Game out of nowhere with a high knee to the back of the Australian! Sent him flying into the ropes… and Redstreak drops all the way out to the floor!”
JHA: “Holy moses… Air Tempest! I’d hate to see economy class…”
JFA: “Tempest stunned by it… and the Game with the roll-up! One! Two! No, powered out by Tempest… clothesline attempt… ducked by the Game – waistlock catches him. Can he get him over? German suplex!”
JHA: “Still got it locked in, though…”
JFA: “He has… the AWF Champion struggling to his feet… hauling Tempest up… and another German suplex. Rolls through again, though… back up to the vertical base…. A third German suplex! Releases it this time!”
JHA: “That’ll take it out of you…”
JFA: “Tempest instinctively rolling over onto his stomach to catch his breath. Knows he can’t be pinned if he’s face down. The Game eyeing him up, though… heading to the outside. Going after Redstreak, perhaps? No – going up top! The Game is going to fly!”

Balancing himself on the top turnbuckle, Galvatron91 measures his opponent before launching himself though the air and dropping the elbow across Tempest’s back.

JHA: “That’ll take the wind out of your sails.”
JFA: “It will indeed! The Game turning him over, now… lateral press, it could be all over for Tempest! One! Two! Kick out! Tempest kicked out. The Game can’t believe it!”
JHA: “I thought that was it… I really did.”
JFA: “G91 not letting it get to him, though. Hopping back up to his feet. Backs into the corner now… are we about to see that superkick of his? Maybe… Tempest struggling to his feet… the band is being tuned up… Tempest may be on his way out of the Iron Gauntlet… No – ducked!”
JHA: “CHCHCHokeslam!”
JFA: “Tempest ducking the superkick and catching the AWF Champion with that chokeslam! Just driving the Game hard into the canvas! G91 not out, though… rolling away from Tempest… and out under the bottom rope to the floor.”
JHA: “As much as I hate to say it, that’s smart tactics from the Game. Had enough about him to get out of the ring… rolling like that also means you can land on your feet without having to climb.”

Back on his feet outside the ring, G91 shakes his head to clear the cobwebs. But as he looks up again, he’s flattened by a huge topé from Tempest.

JHA: “HOLY SWEET MOTHER OF CHRIST!”
JFA: “The biggest topé in town! Tempest just diving straight through the middle rope and tackling the Game to the floor! Picking him up now.”
JHA: “How is he able to stand after doing that?!”
JFA: “Some men are just born resiliant, J. Though I think the resiliency of the Game may be about to be tested… Tempest hauling him up… and just tosses him facefirst into the steel! And again!”

Grabbing the Champion by the scruff of the neck, Tempest manhandles G91 as he hurls him into the mesh wall of the cell. A third shot is enough to open up a gash on the Game’s forehead, leaving him lying on the protective mats, bleeding profusely.

JHA: “Can I change my pick?”
JFA: “Why break the habit of a lifetime? There’s still three more men to enter after these are done! Tempest backing away from the champion, now… glancing around the ring, searching for something… or someone, perhaps. We’ve not seen Redstreak since he got hurled over the top rope…”

Circling the ring anti-clockwise, Tempest rounds the corner and is met by a hard spear by the rested Redstreak.

JHA: “There he is! Forceful Entry!”
JFA: “Redstreak laying in wait for, well, I don’t know if he was waiting specifically for Tempest… laying in wait for anybody, probably. And the Australian is flat out on the arena floor. Redstreak hauling him up quickly… and slams him shoulderfirst into the steel ringpost.”
JHA: “That’s smart play. He bided his time, got his breath back, now he’s picking up where he left off.”
JFA: “As I remember, he left off being launched out of the ring… but enough about details. Redstreak attacking Tempest like a hungry dog… and just wraps that left arm around the ringpost. Slow, methodical pace to his attack. Doesn’t want to get caught out taking any risks outside the ring. Not with that cell around them.”
JHA: “Smart as they come. Intelligence is a key factor in becoming number 1, after all.”
JFA: “So’s integrity. And I don’t know if he’s got any of that left.”
JHA: “Integrity? Since when did that get anybody far in this business?”
JFA: “I’m surprised you even know what it is… Redstreak rolling Tempest back into the ring, now. The Game hauling himself back up on the outside. Redstreak clambers through the ropes. Nonchalant cover. One. Two. Shoulder comes up from Tempest.”

Leaving Tempest to crawl back up of his own volition, Redstreak backs up across the ring before charging in and burying a kick right to the ribs.

JFA: “Redstreak getting his kicks in whilst Tempest can’t defend himself. That’s typical of who he’s become lately.”
JHA: “What? It’s smart play. How are you supposed to get your kicks in when they CAN defend themselves? That’s just making things difficult if you try that.”
JFA: “The Game up onto the apron now… bloodied and groggy. Redstreak’s seen him… and just rushes across for a cheapshot. Knocks the champion off the apron and back down to the floor.”
JHA: “You’re number 1, Red!”
JFA: “Cockily playing to the crowd, now. Telling them all he’s number one. Or asking to go to the bathroom, as I believe the Lock once put it.”
JHA: “Oh, sure. You just had to bring that up again…”
JFA: “Redstreak watching Tempest now… waiting for the Australian to get back up, picking his spot…”
JHA: “Hey – what’s the Game doing underneath the ring?”
JFA: “Galvatron91 seemingly searching for something under the ring apron. Back to the action and Tempest is to his feet… Redstreak sneaking up behind him. Grabs the arms…”
JHA: “Scorpion coming up!”
JFA: “Redstreak looking for the Scorpion, his version of the Impaler… Turns it around…”
JHA: “The Game back up on the apron, what’s that in his hand?”
JFA: “Redstreak’s got it turned… facing the Game now, but… Tempest powering out of it! Sends Redstreak forward and… and the Game just nailed Redstreak in the face with something!”
JHA: “It’s a sledgehammer, dammit! It’s that damn sledge!!”

Seeing the swing coming, Redstreak is able to roll with the impact to take the worst out of it. Still hit, though, he staggers backwards and around, clutching the side of his face, but walks straight into the clutches of Tempest.

JHA: “God no…”
JFA: “Tempest’s got him caught! Chokeslam coming up… YES! Tempest with the chokeslam on Redstreak… No cover, though… hauling him up for it…”
JHA: “The Game should be disqualified! That isn’t fair!”
JFA: “There’s no disqualifications here! Pinfall or submission only! Redstreak going for the ride, here… Thunder Press! Driven into the mat by Tempest. Hooks the leg – One! Two! Three! It’s all done for Redstreak!”
JHA: “And it’s all the fault of that damn Game! Where the hell did that sledgehammer come from?!”
JFA: “Under the ring, by the looks of it! Redstreak’s eliminated, but the match continues… we’ll be joined by his replacement soon. The Game into the ring again, now… still holding that sledgehammer. Swings for Tempest! No, ducked by the Australian – and he’s caught the Game by the throat… Chokeslam! It could be all over for the Champion here as well! Cover by Tempest – One! Two!”
JHA: “DAMMIT.”
JFA: “Shoulder comes up from the Game! Oh so nearly three. That would have been huge news, there. Tempest eliminating both Redstreak and the Game before we can even get the fourth man out here.”

Looking up, Tempest sees the door to the cell being opened, and the referees rolling Redstreak out. He quickly remembers the rules of the encounter, and knows that somebody else is due to come through the door in his stead. Turning his attention away from the Game, he picks up the sledgehammer from the canvas and waits.

JHA: “That’s going to be a scary sight for whomever comes through…”
JFA: “Well, we bid adieu to Redstreak. Strives to be number 1. He’s achieved that tonight. First in, first out.”
JHA: “Oh, ha ha ha. Shut the hell up about it, already. The Game cheated.”
JFA: “I can’t see how… there aren’t any rules against it…”
JHA: “How biased ARE you?!”

Get rolled with the fever on the dance floor

JFA: “The Lock! The Lock replacing Redstreak.”
JHA: “Oh, really? I never would have guessed.”
JFA: “Former Intercontinental Champion; Two-time former Tag Team Champion. Looking to make the step up and become the AWF Champion for the first time. Blazing a way straight down to ringside…”
JHA: “Hey, that was uncalled for!”
JFA: “The Lock stopping in the aisle to give Redstreak the People’s Finger, before punching him down to the ground! Red could barely stand, being helped to the back by the referees, and the Lock just took him out.”
JHA: “He’s no business doing that!”
JFA: “I’d have to agree, but he certainly feels better for it! The Lock into the ring now, door closed behind him.”
JHA: “I hope Tempest rips him a new one…”
JFA: “That’s a distinct possibility… Tempest clutching that sledgehammer… The Lock creeping slowly forward. These men are as close to allies as Tempest has in the AWF… but that means nothing with the stakes this high.”

His eyes locked on his countryman, Tempest raises the sledgehammer high above him, lining up the swing. But before he can take any action, it’s wrenched from his hands by the Game.

JFA: “The Game back up and into it! Relieves Tempest of the sledgehammer… Tempest turns… shot to the gut! G91 just driving the sledgehammer into the stomach of Tempest! The Lock up behind… Dinobot Slam!”
JHA: “I don’t believe it! He got him up!”
JFA: “And back down again! The Lock sat on the mat… looking up at the Game. The Game says to cover him! One! Two! No – Tempest got his foot on the bottom rope!”
JHA: “I don’t believe that… this is incredible!”

Dropping the sledge to the canvas, Galvatron91 wipes the blood from his eyes and joins in stomping away on Tempest with The Lock. Seeing the weapon discarded, the referee walks across and kicks it out of the ring.

JHA: “Finally that damn sledge is out of the equation again.”
JFA: “It’s certainly a difference maker, that’s for sure! G91 and The Lock working in tandem, now. Pulling Tempest up… send him to the ropes… and dual reverse elbows take him back down to the mat.”

Nodding at each other, the two men hit the ropes on opposing sides of the ring and drive simultaneous elbow drops into the chest of Tempest.

JHA: “Good strategy, I have to say. Slow him down, both attack him at once. Then when he’s softened up, go in for the kill.”
JFA: “The Game heaving Tempest up, now. Has him in that waistlock… The Lock lining something up here… into the ropes… and a spinning heel kick – into a huge release German suplex by the AWF Champion!”
JHA: “They broke him in half… he’s folded up like an accordian. Gotta be all over.”
JFA: “The Game with the cover, now. One. Two. But Tempest kicks out! How much stamina is there in this guy?”
JHA: “I don’t know. I don’t even think he’s human.”
JFA: “Tempest struggling back up, now. The Game whips him to the ropes… The Lock looking for the spinning heel kick – no! Tempest caught him in mid-air…”
JHA: “Look at the strength!”
JFA: “Tempest holding the Lock up there, still… cradled like a baby… and just throws him at the Game! The Champion sent reeling as the Lock lands on him. Tempest catching his breath, now. The Game staggering back to a vertical base, using the ropes to climb up.”
JHA: “Oh, look out…”
JFA: “Tempest charging! No, the Game ducks it and a big back bodydrop to the outside!”
JHA: “He landed on his feet! He landed on his feet, for crying out loud!”
JFA: “Tempest still standing on the outside now… The Game and The Lock trying to figure out a way of putting the Human Bulldozer down… Game with the Irish whip on the Lock… baseball slide!”
JHA: “Oh ****.”
JFA: “Tempest dodged it! Tempest had it scouted, moved out of the way as the Lock sailed past… Grimlock at his mercy, now. And just slams him facefirst into the ring apron. Grabbing him again… and whips him with authority into the steel ring steps!”
JHA: “That has GOT to hurt! He actually knocked the steps over! He actually knocked the steps over.”

Seeing The Lock in trouble, and knowing he stands his best chance against Tempest with an ally, Galvatron91 dashes across the ring, leaps onto the top turnbuckle and launches himself down to the outside, aiming a double axehandle at the Lord of the Mat’s skull.

JHA: “Look at the hang time on that! Oh my god…”
JFA: “The Game… caught by Tempest! Tempest catching him on the outside in that big bearhug… Lifts him high…”
JHA: “Flapjack!”
JFA: “Sickening flapjack like maneouvre from Tempest… just dropping back and driving the Game facefirst into the space behind him. Unluckily for the Champion, that space consisted of the ring apron!”
JHA: “I feel sick…”
JFA: “And The Game could have serious injuries here… he’s had a long history of neck injuries… it was about a year ago when he suffered serious damage that we thought would end his career. Just driven facefirst into the ring apron… he could have aggravated that neck, he could have a broken jaw, broken nose, fractured cheekbone… there’s no way of telling what damage could have been done. He could have bitten through his tongue, for god’s sake.”
JHA: “And it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.”
JFA: “But to cap it all – it’s for nought. Tempest still standing… turning his attention back to the Lock, now. Grimlock trying to land a punch to the stomach… has no effect, Tempest clotheslining him back down to the floor.”
JHA: “I smell a massacre…”
JFA: “You could be right… Tempest picking up the Lock, now. Irish whip… straight into the steel. That cell coming back into play again. Tempest taking full advantage of the giant weapon that their environment doubles as.”
JHA: “As he well, should. It’s a shame to waste it.”
JFA: “And the scary thing is, he’s barely needed to. The AWF Champion lying a bloody mess on the floor… bleeding from his mouth… his forehead lacerated from earlier… barely moving. Tempest picking the Lock up… draping him across his shoulder… and a huge snake-eyes drop into the steel ringsteps.”
JHA: “You hear that?”
JFA: “I think the whole of Seattle heard that. A sickening thud as The Lock’s head bounces off the steel steps. Tempest dragging him up again… back onto the shoulder. No, not again…”
JHA: “Javelin time?”
JFA: “Oh, god. Tempest just ramming The Lock headfirst into the steel mesh of the cell. And again. And again. No, this is uncalled for. Tempest dropping him back down to the floor. This man is out to make a name for himself… and he’s doing it by destroying the Lock. And the sad thing is that he doesn’t need to resort to these measures.”
JHA: “Oh, come on. It’s fun.”
JFA: “You think seeing a man bludgeoned is fun?”
JHA: “Sure, why not?”
JFA: “Tempest pulling the Lock up again… rolling him back in the ring.”
JHA: “You realise the sick part? The Lock is the closest thing Tempest has to a friend here… if this is how he’s treating his friend, think how that’s gonna make everybody else feel?”
JFA: “At least he can plead extenuating circumstances. The Lock is just a man between him and the AWF Championship. The red mist clearing now, I think. The storm may be over for now. Tempest hauling him up… blood soaking the canvas from where the Lock’s been busted wide open.”
JHA: “The Lock’s been busted open… The Game’s been busted open… Redstreak’s the only person not to be mutilated by that monster!”
JFA: “I doubt that makes him feel better – Tempest still eliminated him.”
JHA: “No he didn’t! The Game eliminated him. Tempest just got the fall!”
JFA: “Well, it looks to be the first of at least two, tonight. Tempest setting up the Thunder Press… drives the Lock down to the mat! Makes the cover. One. Two. Three, stick a fork in the Lock – he’s done.”

Standing up from the pin, Tempest raises his hand in victory, but shows little in the way of emotion. He pats his fist across his heart and stretches his arm out in the direction of The Lock, signifying his respect for the victim.

JHA: “Two down, two more to come. Will it be Thundercracker or will it be the King?”
JFA: “Tempest pacing up and down in the ring… watching them open the door as the EMTs strap the Lock onto that gurney. Notable contrast between this fall and the last… last time, he went straight to work on the Game, looking to eliminate the champion before the next man came out. This time it looks like he’s forgotten about him in the heat of battle.”
JHA: “And that is surprising… the Game’s barely moved since he hit the apron. He’d probably be easy pickings right about now!”
JFA: “Almost certainly would. And it’s not often you can say that about the AWF Champion. His title in serious jeopardy tonight… Tempest almost single-handedly running the show. Running the Iron Gauntlet.”
JHA: “You seriously only just worked out where the match got it’s name from, didn’t you?”

God, money, I'll do anything for you.
God, money, just tell me what you want me to.
God, money, nail me up against the wall.
God, money, don't want everything he wants it all.

JFA: “And here comes the King! The sole representitive of Mayhem.”
JHA: “Not if you count the Game. And, oh boy – that’s what you call strategy.”
JFA: “King will have been paying close attention to the match from back in the locker room… and it shows. Coming out armed with a steel chair!”
JHA: “Smart, smart play.”
JFA: “That may be the only way anybody’s going to stop Tempest tonight! But will he be allowed to take it into the cell with him?”
JHA: “I don’t see why not. The Game smuggled that sledgehammer in… it’s no different in my eyes.”

Reaching the door to the cell, King is approached by the referees, asking him to relinquish the chair. Instead, the Mayhem entrant raises his weapon high, gesturing to the officials that he’s unafraid to use it on them.

JFA: “Well, I guess that answers it. The King entering the cell armed with a steel chair, we’ll see what Tempest can do against that.”
JHA: “I’ve a horrible feeling it all adds up to just one more weapon for him to use. He’s busted people open with the cell, the ring steps and even the apron… think what he’ll do if he gets his hands on something he can actually carry about with him!”
JFA: “King warily into the ring… Tempest beckoning him… daring him to come closer.”
JHA: “It’s a good old fashioned showdown, J! Who’s gonna budge first?”
JFA: “And… King just darting in and jabbing that chair into the knee of Tempest! Tempest was expecting the attack from on high… King slamming it onto the side of the leg, now! And again! Tempest staggered… drives a third shot into the leg! And now smashes the chair across the head of Tempest. Tempest’s down! Tempest’s down! King not making the cover, though – not going to be drawn into it.”
JHA: “He’s the freshest man out there and he knows it! Wants to make the advantage count!”

Backing off to survey the situation, King lunges forward again, driving the chair down into the kneecap of the fallen Tempest. The Australian screams in pain as he tries to turn over and drag himself up with the ropes. The former Tag Team and Intercontinental Champion sizes him up and smashes the chair into the side of the leg again and again.

JHA: “He is going to destroy Tempest’s leg!”
JFA: “Canny strategy by the King. Take away the leg, you take away their vertical base.”
JHA: “Exactly. It doesn’t matter how powerful they are stood up, they’re all the same size once they’re flat on their back. He can’t chokeslam him from the mat, he can’t hit the Thunder Press, he can’t throw somebody into that steel cell if he can’t stand up!”
JFA: “King discarding the chair now… dragging Tempest across the ring by the leg… Tempest facedown on the canvas… King lifting that leg high… and just drives the knee into the canvas!”

Watching his foe writhe in pain, King backs up and regains the chair. Measuring him up, the Mayhem star smashes the steel weapon down hard on the side of the leg.

JFA: “And this is getting serious… King really zeroing in on that one body part… relentless… vicious… another chairshot! Driving the point of it down into the hamstring, this time.”
JHA: “He’s not going to rest until he knows the job is done, J! He’s determined, he’s aggressive! He can smell the AWF Championship, but he knows he has to remove Tempest before he can get there.”
JFA: “Well, he’s certainly come out with a gameplan. Sticking to it rigorously, and it seems to be working. Another shot to the knee, now! I’ve lost count of how many times Predaking has slammed that steel folding chair into the leg of Tempest.”
JHA: “Not nearly enough for King, by the looks of it!”
JFA: “King dragging Tempest to the side of the ring, now. Lifting that leg up… Tempest trying to fight, but he seems in too much pain. Drapes the foot on the second rope… that leg’s wide open to attak again. And just slams the chair down across the knee! That chair’s battered and dented beyond belief!”
JHA: “So just think how Tempest’s leg feels!”
JFA: “It must be shot to hell, by now. He could need major reconstructive surgery on it… he may never be the same again. King bringing down that chair on the leg again now! Finally tossing it away over the top rope. Perhaps now the assault will cease.”
JHA: “Doesn’t look likely!”

Grabbing Tempest’s ankle, King slides out of the ring and drags him into the corner. Taking careful aim, he swings the leg with authority, wrapping the knee around the ringpost.

JFA: “Good god… this man has no sense of remorse… he doesn’t know when enough is enough!”
JHA: “I don’t think there’s such a thing as enough with the AWF Title! Again, now!”
JFA: “King just slamming that knee into the ringpost again… you can hear the howls of pain from Tempest. I never thought anybody would reduce that man to this!”
JHA: “King is certainly exceeding expectations!”
JFA: “King going in search of that chair, now… bringing it across… Tempest trying to back away, still around that ringpost… and King just crushed Tempest’s knee between the chair and the post! That is sick!”
JHA: “Knee sandwich, anybody?”
JFA: “Again, now! This is relentless! King grabbing Tempest’s leg again… and slams it into the post yet again! Taking hold of the other leg… wrapping them around the post… what’s he doing?”
JHA: “Figure four! Figure four leglock around the ringpost! He’s going to break Tempest’s leg!”
JFA: “If he hasn’t already done so! I’m not sure what the situation for the referee is, here. Certainly this isn’t a legal submission hold, but on the other hand, there are no disqualifications…”
JHA: “I think it would count, then. Whoa, look at the pain etched on his face…”
JFA: “Tempest in absolute agony… he was in full control of the match until King walked in with that chair… he’s barely touched Predaking… and he’s been reduced to this, now!”
JHA: “King certainly making an impact. Is the Game still out?”
JFA: “I think so… beginning to stir now, I think… I was getting worried about him. King hanging upside down on the outside, torquing away with that ringpost-assisted figure four. Blood’s got to be beginning to rush to his head, now. And I think it was, as he’s finally released the hold.”
JHA: “You realise, that after all that… Tempest still didn’t give up?”
JFA: “He’s got heart. He may not have a knee anymore, but he’s got heart. He’s not going to give up his dream of becoming AWF Champion without a fight.”

Scrambling back to his feet quickly, The King glances around and sees one of the cameramen in the cell. Reaching out, he grabs the video camera from their hands and drives it into Tempest’s knee. The video feed stays live from the camera as the lens is destroyed on his leg.

JHA: “That’s a shot you don’t see everyday!”
JFA: “King absolutely relentless in his quest to put Tempest out of commission! Dragging him out of the ring under the bottom rope, now. Setting him up for a side suplex? No – grabbing the leg… lifts him high, and just drops him down onto the steel ringsteps! Modified version of that old knee-breaker. Lifting Tempest up by the hair, now… and slams him facefirst into the steel of the cage.”
JHA: “I think the end may be near for the Aussie.”
JFA: “King bordering on the psychopathic in his assault here… he’s got that raw desire. He knows the end is near for Tempest. That gameplan seems to have been executed to perfection. Slamming him facefirst into the mesh again. Tempest can barely stand.”

Smirking, the King strolls around the ring and picks up the battered steel chair, before he leaps up onto the apron. A determined look on his face, he climbs the turnbuckles with the chair in hand.

JHA: “Now what’s he doing?”
JFA: “I think only he knows… Tempest lying prone on the outside, just slumped down against the mesh of the cell. King on the top turnbuckle… oh god, no. Don’t do it!”
JHA: “Oh hell yeah! He’s going to destroy that knee once and for all!”
JFA: “King on the top rope with the chair… taking aim!”

Leaping off the top rope, King aims the chair to drive into Tempest’s prone knee, but as he falls, Tempest manages to roll fractionally out of the way. King lands on the concrete, driving the chair into the protective matting and apparantly jarring his shoulders with the impact.

JFA: “He moved! Tempest just got out of the way… King stunned, slightly… turns back, Tempest on his knees… King lunges forward, but Tempest shoves him back!”
JHA: “Ouchies…”
JFA: “King just driven back into the corner, his spine connecting with the edge of the ring… may have caught the back of his head on the ringpost… still standing though… Drop toehold by Tempest! Just driving King forward into the steel mesh!”
JHA: “This does not look good…”
JFA: “Tempest running on adrenaline… somehow up to a vertical base… he can’t seem to put any weight on that injured leg. Rubbing King’s face against the steel, now… dragging the flesh across the cage. Pulling him away now… and hurls him back into the ring under the bottom rope.”
JHA: “King doesn’t look a pretty sight…”
JFA: “Only the beginning of the retribution, I think. Tempest trying to get back into the ring, now… struggling up onto the apron. King across and a high knee into Tempest’s face… Tempest still on the apron. King looking for a way to get him inside. Suplex perhaps? No – blocked by Tempest…”
JHA: “Not going to be able to reverse it… not on one leg.”
JFA: “No, you’re right… King winning out in the end… and a huge suplex brings Tempest back into the ring! King floats across with the cover – one! Two! Shoulder came up from Tempest.”
JHA: “Hey, is that the Game trying to climb in on the far side?”
JFA: “It certainly looks like it! A bloodied and battered Galvatron91 crawling to his knees… trying to haul himself up onto the apron. King now… onto the second rope. Elbow drop, maybe…”
JHA: “It’s gonna be there.”
JFA: “No! Tempest rolled out of the way! King eats canvas on the elbow drop. Hauling himself back up now… lunging at Tempest, who dodges and just swats the leg away from King for an improvised takedown. Tempest crawling back to the vertical base…”
JHA: “Who’s gonna get up first?”
JFA: “Both men up now… Tempest struggling… King in now with a boot to the midsection. Hand around the throat – chokeslam, maybe?”
JHA: “The PPC! I’ve missed this on Warzone… Tempest’s gonna go for it… NO!”
JFA: “Tempest clasping his own hand around King’s throat! They’re both locked in… neither man giving an inch… both with their right hands around the other’s throat…”

As Predaking and Tempest fight for dominance in their own test of strength, neither sees the AWF Champion, Galvatron91, finally crawl back into the ring – once again clutching his trusty sledgehammer.

JFA: “Who’s going to crack? Who’s going to choke first? Oxygen being cut off to both men – who’s going to find the strength to break the other’s hold and deliver the crushing blow?”
JHA: “I don’t know, but… oh my god – look out!”
JFA: “The Game! Out of nowhere with the sledgehammer right to the back of Tempest’s knee! King with the chokeslam! He’s down!”
JHA: “PPC! PPC! The Game with the sledge again!”
JFA: “Galvatron91 picking the perfect moment to return to the match… blood pouring from his mouth… I think I just saw him spit a tooth down at Tempest… motioning for King to lift him again… King obliging.”
JHA: “The King and the Game? Working together?!”
JFA: “To eliminate Tempest, I think most of these men would work with the devil himself… King heaving Tempest up… G91 with the sledge… right into Tempest’s gut! Doubles him over… Pedigree! Pedigree from the Game! The King standing back… Hook of the leg… One… Two… Three! They got him!”
JHA: “My god… they actually got rid of Tempest!”
JFA: “It took countless chairshots, both men and a sledgehammer to do it, but Tempest is finally eliminated from this match! No mystery about his replacement – there’s only one man left to come out, and that’s Thundercracker.”
JHA: “But there may be only one man left in the ring by the time he gets here!”
JFA: “The King going straight to work on the Champion! No sooner had the referee signalled for the bell than the King was in there like a vulture! Pounding away on the Game’s neck… dragging him up… whip to the ropes… huge clothesline! He just took the Champion’s head off!”
JHA: “It’s all over! Hook of the leg – One! Two! Three!”
JFA: “No – two and a half! The Game somehow kicking out of it… King frustrated, he thought he had it.”
JHA: “He did have it! That was three!”
JFA: “Referee only said two! King picking him up now… inverted atomic drop! The Game staggered… kneelift to the midsection… moving behind now… Pumphandle Slam coming up…”
JHA: “The Rampage… bam! Connects with it!”
JFA: “No cover, though. The cell door being opened and Tempest being helped out… receiving a standing ovation from this sell out Safeco Field crowd. The King heading to the top rope. G91 struggling to his feet… his face is absolutely soaked in his own blood, it’s a miracle that he can see!”
JHA: “Divebomb! Flying clothesline from the King! The Game’s gone!”
JFA: “Lateral press… one… two… somehow the shoulder comes up! Galvatron91 somehow getting his right shoulder up before the count of three. King cannot believe it.”

Worms of the earth, rise in numbers
A silent night brings them upon us
Rising from the soil to torment the living
Torment the living

JHA: “And here comes the final man.”
JFA: “Thundercracker coming out to the ring… the sixth man to enter the Iron Gauntlet here at Syxx Feet Under. The challenge gets tougher and tougher. The Game the only man still in there from the original three. King’s still about as fresh as he was when he went in there.”
JHA: “Oh boy… and he brought company!”
JFA: “And… TC being accompanied to ringside by Redstreak and A-Train. Redstreak’s already been eliminated from this match… he’s got no business being out here.”
JHA: “He’s here to cheer on his friend! So’s A-Train. Don’t worry so much, the cell’s there to prevent them getting involved, remember?”
JFA: “I know that… but some people always find a way. Predaking with a huge powerbomb on the Game, now!”
JHA: “He calls that Tantrum, don’t y’know? And I know what’s coming next – it’s time to Lock and Load, baby!”
JFA: “The King setting G91 up in it… grapevines the legs… and turns it over. The move’s been called many things in the past… Rugged Ronnie Garvin called it the reverse figure four… the Hart brothers called it the Sharpshooter… Sting called it the Scorpion Deathlock. King calls it the Lock and Load.”
JHA: “And whatever you call it, the Game’s about to tap out!”
JFA: “Galvatron91 being driven into the mat… huge pressure being exerted on his knees and lower back… he has to be in excrutiating pain… he’s lost a lot of blood…”
JHA: “It’s not lost – I know exactly where it is!”
JFA: “I’m sure that makes him feel a lot better. Thundercracker entering the ring now – another highly decorated superstar. He’s a former Tag Team Champion. He’s the only one of the challengers in this match to have worn the AWF Championship in the past, and being the last to enter, he’s got the upper hand over both the other remaining combatants.”
JHA: “What’s he going to do?”
JFA: “TC just standing on the ring apron, now. Watching intently. Elimination rules apply, so he’s got no need to break up the hold. Although he may fancy his chances more against the Game than against King.”
JHA: “Of course he will – King’s fresh, the Game’s virtually crippled there.”
JFA: “The Game being injured was his main reason for thinking he’d be victorious at ArchiveMania, remember?”
JHA: “Don’t go into details. Besides, King would love to rip him into pieces after being cheated out of victory at Lord of the Mat! Has the Game not tapped yet, dammit?!”
JFA: “He’s not… and I doubt he will! Thundercracker stepping through the ropes, now. Approaching from behind King… I don’t know if he’s even seen TC, yet. King just leaning back, applying as much pressure as he can…”
JHA: “What is TC doing?”
JFA: “Slowly circling the pair… trying to decide on the best course of action… he may be getting itchy feet from all this waiting.”
JHA: “And those educated feet don’t like getting itchy!”
JFA: “They certainly don’t! TC strolling around to the front of King now. The Mayhem competitor’s seen him. What’s going to happen now? TC recently fired from Mayhem - King still a member of their roster, of course…”
JHA: “That’s what.”
JFA: “Thundercracker fed up of waiting! A perfectly executed enziguri to the side of King’s head! Predaking saw it coming but didn’t have time to respond.”

Taking his chance, TC quickly pulls King up and throws him into the corner of the ring. He darts in with a shoulderblock to the gut, before cartwheeling backwards out of the corner and nailing a stepover heel kick to his opponent’s jaw. As King stands dazed in the corner, the Chicago native leaps in and performs a perfect monkey flip to deposit the Mayhem man firmly on his back on the canvas.

JHA: “TC really unloading, here!”
JFA: “He certainly is! Perhaps thinking that he can eliminate King quickly and be left alone with the weaker Game. Rolling thunder to the King! Lateral press – one! two! Kick-out by King.”
JHA: “Take more than that to put him away, J.”
JFA: “I know that, but I think TC thought he could catch him on the sly. The Game starting to climb back up, now. TC pulling King onto his feet… irish whip… reversal by King. TC into the corner… running shoulder charge… no, TC dodged it and King just goes straight to the ringpost!”
JHA: “That may have dislocated his shoulder!”
JFA: “TC hopping over the top rope, now. Onto the top buckle… King still staggered in the corner… TC’s got him…”

Holding his adversary in the corner, TC seats himself on the top rope, turning King to face away from him. Draping his legs around the neck, Thundercracker perches himself carefully on King’s shoulders.

JFA: “Here we go – victory roll! This is what did for King at Lord of the Mat! Can he roll it over?”
JHA: “Wooha! Superb counter!”
JFA: “My god… King wise to it… just dropped to a seated position, pulled TC forward over his head and drove him chest first into the mat! Version of the electric chair… brilliant counter to the victory roll. He had it scouted from last time.”
JHA: “The King never forgets!”
JFA: “King up to his feet now… favouring that shoulder… backing away from TC. The Game is up to his feet again now… King hasn’t seen him!”
JHA: “Oh god no… he looks pissed…”
JFA: “I can’t tell behind all that blood! The Game with a right hand to the King! And another! He’s got him rocking… whips to the ropes… the Game off the far side… flying forearm takes him down!”
JHA: “Both men are down, though! I think that may have been all the Game had left in him… Oh no…”
JFA: “The Game kipped up! The AWF Champion back up to his feet. King struggling back up as well. G91 with a hard knife edge chop… and another… backs King into the corner. Irish whip… no, reversed by the King.”

As he heads towards the buckles, the Game doesn’t turn to meet them with his back. Instead he ducks with his entire body and uses his momentum to flip upside down, floating over the turnbuckles and landing on his feet on the ring apron. The King rushes in on the follow through, hoping to catch G91 as he hits the buckle, but as the Champion lands on his feet, he sees King coming and dashes along the apron, catching him with a clothesline.

JFA: “Beautiful flip from the Champion! Reminiscent of Ric Flair! Landing perfectly on his feet and taking knocking King to the mat. Still on the outside, now. Heading up to the top rope…”
JHA: “You said reminiscent of Ric Flair… I hope this goes the same way of any of Flair’s top rope forays!”
JFA: “It’s unlikely… the Game has a much better record in high risk situations… King staggering back up now… high crossbody! Rolled through by King! One! Two! Oh, narrowly kicked out by the Game.”
JHA: “TC’s back up far side, J.”
JFA: “I’ve seen him… I don’t know if our other two combatants have… both men to their feet now… King slightly quicker, still – kick to the midsection. Looking for the powerbomb… no, the Game flips over to land on his feet… SWEET CHIN MUSIC!!”
JHA: “NO!!”
JFA: “He caught all of it! Out of nowhere, that superkick… and out of nowhere, TC with the Lifetime Enlightenment on the Game as he turned around! Cover by Thundercracker, it might be all over! One! Two!”
JHA: “NO! So close!”
JFA: “Somehow… somehow the Game got his shoulder up at the last possible moment! I don’t know if I’ve EVER seen anybody do that before! TC hit all of it and made the cover straight away… I thought that was all over for G91’s title reign!”
JHA: “I’m not that lucky…”

Staring up at the heavens and the roof of the cell in disbelief, Thundercracker seems to ask the question of what must he do. Suddenly his attention is attracted by Redstreak and A-Train at ringside, shouting in and pointing beneath the ring.

JFA: “What do those two want?”
JHA: “They want to help their buddy!”
JFA: “TC’s never needed a cheerleading team before. The former AWF Champion coming across to the side of the ring, now… stepping out and dropping to the floor. What’s he doing?”
JHA: “Never mind what he’s doing – what’s the Game doing?!”
JFA: “Galvatron91 crawling back across the ring – the King still laid out from that Sweet Chin Music! Arm across the chest, King may be out of here! One! Two!”
JHA: “Woohoo!”
JFA: “The King somehow getting his shoulder up… he had time to recover from that kick… TC bought him that time, else he may have been out of the match before then!”

Rummaging about beneath the lifted ring apron, Thundercracker finally finds what he’s looking for.

JFA: “What is he doing? Oh god. Tables.”
JHA: “Oh yes – tables!”
JFA: “The Game back up inside the ring… along with the King. Whips him across to the ropes… clothesline attempt is ducked by King… comes back on the rebound…. Leapfrog by the champion… King stops dead, but Galvy’s landed behind him – waistlock cinched in! German suplex! Still got it locked in tight… hauls him up… another German… rolls through with it… another one!”
JHA: “Still got the waistlock in, though… he wouldn’t?”
JFA: “He would… up to his feet again… a fourth German suplex by the Game… but still not releasing it… up to his feet again… and there’s number five! Finally releases it… King looks like he’s been put through a mangle!”
JHA: “Now where’s he going?”
JFA: “The Game going up top… we saw him do this to Tempest, in what seems an eternity ago… then it was an elbow… what will it be now? Swandive headbutt! Connected by the Game. Makes the cover. One! Two!”
JHA: “Oh my god!”
JFA: “The King kicks out! Somehow the King had the energy reserves to kick out after five Germans and the headbutt! The Champion cannot believe it! There are bloodstains all over King from where it’s been pouring out of G91’s head. Is this not going to be the Game’s night after all? Is it destined to be the night where the King becomes the Champion?!”
JHA: “It may well be! But I think that Thundercracker will have something to say about that… once he’s finished whatever the hell it is that he’s upto.”
JFA: “What is he upto? He’s got three tables out from under the ring. On the outside having some sort of discussion with A-Train and Redstreak. Oh my god! What’s that in Astrotrain’s hands?”
JHA: “I don’t know… I can’t see clearly…”
JFA: “Bolt cutters! Astrotrain trying to cut a hole in the cell for some purpose… and now the referees see it… and fortunately they move Redstreak and A-Train away, now. Ordering them back to the locker room. They don’t seem too keen to go. Backing up the ramp, though. I think they’ll be content to watch from the stage.”
JHA: “Yeah… but did you notice what they don’t have?”
JFA: “I… oh god. Astrotrain left those bolt-cutters at ringside… right at the foot of the cell… TC just reaching down and pulling them through the mesh. I hate to think what he’s going to use those for.”
JHA: “Cutting, obviously.”

As Thundercracker discreetly cuts away at the steel mesh, the Game hoists King up and delivers a perfectly executed vertibreaker.

JFA: “Oh, that’s got to be it!”
JHA: “Holy ****. I thought they’d banned that move!”
JFA: “Not here! The Game with the cover. One. Two. Oh my god. King somehow gets his shoulder up again. The Game staring in disbelief at the referee.”
JHA: “He can’t have kicked out from that move… that move should have killed him!”
JFA: “He did! And as much as not one soul in Safeco Field believes it… it happened! Galvatron91 pulling the King up… King somehow with the wits to stand… whip to the rope… Frankengamer – no! Countered by King into a powerbomb! I don’t know how the hell he found the strength to do that… but he did!”
JHA: “Oh, King’s running on instinct now. He’s got to be. The Game’s running on pure adrenalin… the King’s running on instinct. He believes he’s born to be champion… I think he may be right. I don’t know how anybody in this match is ever going to be the same again.”
JFA: “Speaking of which, I’m getting reports from the medical staff that Tempest has actually suffered NO long term damage to his knee. That’s just the early reports, mind. They’ve done x-rays back there and found that nothing’s broken… no fractures, as we thought there may be… we’re still waiting to find if there’s any ligament damage, though.”
JHA: “That is beyond belief. He could barely stand out here earlier… King with the cover!”
JFA: “King somehow finding it in himself to throw an arm across the Game, now! Referee in position! One! Two! Shoulder comes up from Galvatron91. This defies all belief, here.”
JHA: “Oh, I’m never going to forget this match… TC still working away on that wall of the cell. The outside referees shouting at him, but they can’t do anything.”
JFA: “He’s cut about a six foot tall gap in that mesh, now. Finally stopping… and pulling the wall of the cell apart. Smiling contentedly. What is running through his sick, sick mind?”
JHA: “I have an idea what I’d do if I was as suicidally insane as him… but you really don’t want to know…”

Turning back to look at the action in the ring, Thundercracker picks up his first table and slides it through the gap in the cell.

JFA: “What is he doing? Taking those tables outside? He’s sliding all three of those tables to the outside of the cell…”
JHA: “He is. He’s actually going to try it…”
JFA: “Try what?”
JHA: “Oh, you don’t want to know what I think he’s got in mind…”
JFA: “Redstreak and Astrotrain back down to ringside, now. TC still inside the cell. And… they’re setting up the tables. No – they’re stacking the tables…”

Rolling back into the ring, Thundercracker levels the Game with a spin kick as the Champion climbs back to his feet. Seeing his chance, he hops over the ropes and onto the top turnbuckle.

JHA: “Frog Splash, coming up!”
JFA: “TC getting involved in the match again… Frog splash to the Game! Just driving all the air out of his lungs… Not making the cover though. Clutching his abdomen… TC back up again. Eyeballing King lying flat out on the mat… handspring moonsault! Again driving all the air out of his opponent using his own body.”
JHA: “Softening them up. Or softening somebody up, at least.”
JFA: “No pin from TC, though. Lifting the King up… ignoring the Game… and just hurls King over the top rope to the floor.”
JHA: “And the choice is made. He’s lost it.”
JFA: “I really don’t want to know what’s going through your mind over this.”
JHA: “That’s a shame… because we may be about to see it.”
JFA: “Thundercracker… dragging the King around the outside of the ring… just slams his face against the ring apron. Now pulling him back around… hurls him into the ringsteps. Dragging him around the arena floor, now. Trying to pull him to that area where he’s cut away the cell.”
JHA: “I can’t watch.”
JFA: “Redstreak and Astrotrain on the outside. They’ve stacked three tables high on top of each other… I dread to think what’s coming. The pair holding the tear in the cage open… and TC throwing the King through it… now stepping out himself. Thundercracker and the King out in the aisle, now. The Game and the referee the only men left in the cell.”

Putting the boots to The King, TC lifts him up and tries to slam his face into the steel mesh, but somehow the King finds the strength to block it and slam Thundercracker’s face into the steel instead. As he does so, A-Train and Redstreak pounce, burying punches and kicks into the Mayhem star’s body, before dragging his face across the cage.

JFA: “Look at those two vultures! This is exactly the sort of thing the Gauntlet was designed to stop.”
JHA: “Nature always finds a way.”
JFA: “Yeah… they remind me of those velociraptors. Referees trying to intervene… just being swatted away like flies, though. And… oh dear god. TC starting to climb the cell!”
JHA: “This is what I was afraid of.”
JFA: “Redstreak and A-Train hammering away on the King… Lifting him up, now… and just rolling him onto that top table…”
JHA: “Well, a King should always be at the top table.”
JFA: “Will you stop it. The Game climbing to his feet in the ring… watching with disbelief, now. Thundercracker scaling the cage… he’s at the top. TC on top of the cell… The King on a stack of tables below him. For the love of god, don’t do it!”
JHA: “If he misses, he’s dead…”
JFA: “If he hits it, Predaking may well be…”
JHA: “Here it comes…”
JFA: “Five Star… FROG SPLASH…”

King doesn’t even know what hits him as Thundercracker launches himself from the top of the cell and crashes through both his opponent and the stack of tables. Splinters fly everywhere as the wooden platforms collapse and the two men end up lying in the wreckage on the arena floor.

JHA: “He actually did it… I don’t believe it… he actually did it…”
JFA: “The whole of Safeco Field staring in disbelief… the Game standing inside the cell… blood congealing across his face… a look of total shock. And… and Thundercracker is up!”
JHA: “He actually did it…”
JFA: “Thundercracker holding his ribs in pain… but otherwise seems to be absolutely fine! King lying absolutely wrecked in the aisleway.”
JHA: “That’s got to be it. Just get King in the ring and pin him.”
JFA: “King’s out of it for sure. TC doesn’t seem to know where he is… slowly coming back to him. Redstreak and Astrotrain gesturing at him to get back in the cell. Grabbing King’s foot now… dragging him back through that opening.”

The AWF Champion, G91, stands totally dumbfounded as TC hauls the King through the opening in the cell and props him up against the ring apron. Rolling under the bottom rope, the groggy Thundercracker reaches down and pulls King up through the ropes and into the ring.

JHA: “King’s got to be unconscious, J. Out like a light.”
JFA: “TC’s got him propped up on his knees… still looking to do something to put it beyond doubt. The Game looking on, not willing to make a move quite yet. Happy to hang back and collect his thoughts.”
JHA: “He’s probably trying to come up with ways he can beat somebody willing to put his body in that much danger…”
JFA: “He’s done it before. But the title wasn’t on the line, then. I doubt TC would tap out in the same situation tonight. TC lifting the King up, now… perhaps going to line up the Lifetime Enlightenment…”
JHA: “What the hell?!”
JFA: “SMALL PACKAGE! ONE! TWO! THREE!! He got him!!”
JHA: “WHAT THE HELL?!”
JFA: “The King! Running on pure unadulterated instinct! Just caught TC from nowhere with an inside cradle! Thundercracker’s gone! He can’t believe it!”
JHA: “He was playing possom?!”
JFA: “I don’t think so! He’s virtually unconscious… I think that was just pure wrestling instinct! He felt TC hesitate and went for it! The King not moving… TC absolutely livid…. The Game…”
JHA: “He’s laughing!”
JFA: “The Game doesn’t believe it… Redstreak and A-Train just exploded on the outside… but TC is gone and what the hell? No… there’s no need for this!”
JHA: “There’s plenty of need! He just got embarrassed!”
JFA: “TC stomping away on the King… dragging him up and slamming him headfirst into the turnbuckle. Lets the King drop to the mat… outside now… after that steel chair. No… he wouldn’t?”
JHA: “He would!”
JFA: “TC propping that chair across the face of the King… heading across the ring, now… looking for the Ender… but the Game across to stop him. Galvatron91 talking TC down. Ordering him out of the ring, now. TC has a lot of respect for the Game, but I’ve got to wonder how likely he is to listen to him now.”
JHA: “Oh… that’s a shame.”
JFA: “And the Champion looks to have been successful. TC stepping through the ropes now. Taking that chair away from the King. We’re down to two men. The Game and the King. Galvatron91 dragging the King up now… King’s got to be on dream street… not much left in him… but that’s what TC thought, as well. The Game with a firm boot to the midsection… underhooks the arms…”
JHA: “I hate this…”
JFA: “Pedigree! Pedigree to the King. It’s got to be all over, now. Cover from the Game. One. Two. Three! That’s it, it’s all over! And the Game, Galvatron91 retains the AWF Championship in a gruelling match up. First time ever, the Iron Gauntlet Match. He survived Redstreak… he survived Tempest… he survived the Lock… he survived the King and Thundercracker. He’s a bloody mess, but he is still the AWF Champion.”
JHA: “I hate him so much.”
JFA: “And… oh, no… what the hell? TC back into the ring and just levelled the Game with the chair!”
JHA: “He shouldn’t have stopped him from hitting the Ender…”
JFA: “The referee shouting at TC… oh my god… Thundercracker just levelled the referee with the chair. Redstreak and Astrotrain into the ring, now… getting in through the hole in the cell.”

Still angry at his earlier elimination, Redstreak immediately searches out the Game’s sledgehammer as TC starts slamming the chair down on the back of the King. A-Train puts the boots to G91 until Red rolls back into the ring. The Tennessee native hoists the Champion up in a full nelson, allowing Redstreak to hit a firm sledge shot directly into the champion’s sternum.

JFA: “God no… this is uncalled for…”
JHA: “Seems plenty called for to me. The Game messed with the Streak, now he gets what’s coming to him.”

Still held in place by A-Train, the Game is dealt another vicious sledge shot by Redstreak, this one firmly into the side of the Champion’s jaw.

JFA: “It’s a massacre in there. TC setting King up in the corner, now… taking that chair with him, though. Out of the ring… springboard dropkick through the chair! That’s heinous!”
JHA: “The Ender! King shouldn’t have messed, J. You just don’t mess with these boys.”
JFA: “And… Sixswitch! Sixswitch charging down the aisle… out to help the Game, it seems… the former Intercontinental Champion coming to help his former D-Next partner.”
JHA: “Long time former.”
JFA: “What the hell? The GPA just… the GPA just came out of the crowd. Divebomb just levelled Sixswitch with a chair… P? and Viewfind heading towards the cell. What the hell has Viewfind got in his hands?”
JHA: “Padlocks!”
JFA: “Viewfind and Prowl… oh my god, they’re padlocking shut that hole in the cell… forcing the mesh back together and locking it up. The Game and the King are trapped inside. TC, Redstreak and Astrotrain doing a number on the Champion and Mr Reilly’s golden boy!”
JHA: “This is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful!”
JFA: “And here comes Skywarp to try and even the numbers up! StoneCold Skywarp… Divebomb swings the chair… ducked… Stunner! Stunner by Skywarp to Divebomb… Viewfind and Prowl back up the ramp, now… two on one against Skywarp… back in the cell, though… the mugging’s still going on… Pedigreee! Pedigree by Redstreak to the Game! How insulting is that?!”
JHA: “I love it!”
JFA: “Astrotrain putting G91 in the crossface, now! Redstreak laughing in front of him. TC still putting the boots to Predaking… taking out all his frustrations on the Mayhem man.”
JHA: “Oh, gods.”
JFA: “Skywarp just hitting a Stunner on Viewfind! And here comes Blaster, of all people! Blaster and Auros down to ringside to help out their Mayhem colleagues!”
JHA: “I don’t like this…”
JFA: “Auros with a huge clothesline on Prowl… why is it only Mayhem competitors flocking to the aid of the Game?!”
JHA: “Because nobody from Warzone is in trouble! The only people getting their asses handed to them are the property of Mayhem… you can bet it’s Reilly who’s sending them all down here!”
JFA: “Jinei down now… the GPA finally taken care of! Jinei’s brought some bolt cutters with him… taking out those padlocks… and now they’re into the cell!”
JHA: “Get out of there, boys!”
JFA: “Jinei, Skywarp and Auros into the cell now! Redstreak, TC and A-Train making a quick getaway! Straight out of the ring as the Mayhem guys entered… now out of the cell.”

Skywarp, Jinei, Auros and Blaster stand in the center of the ring in disbelief, as Redstreak TC and A-Train back their way up the aisle, laughing. The three collect up the GPA and head to the back to lick their collective wounds.

JFA: “And… this is a surreal sight. The Mayhem competitors in the ring… tending to the wounds of King and the Game… calling for some EMTs to come down here. The Game is still the AWF Champion. He went through hell to get there, but he doesn’t look like a champion.”
JHA: “He shouldn’t have sledged Redstreak. It all comes back to haunt you. Karma’s a bitch, J.”
JFA: “I don’t know about karma… but I think the Game and the King are going to be heavy on retribution once they’ve come around. We’re out of time, folks. This has been Syxx Feet Under. Our next Pay Per View is Autumn Annihilation on October the 26th, live from the Theatre of Dreams – Old Trafford Stadium in Manchester, England. So, for Joey Styles and Flec, this was your jobber announcers… we’ll see you next time, folks!”
Flec: Well folks that concludes our show for this evening! Next week, we’ll offer a second installment of “AWF Best Of” where we will present you several more matches selected by the staff as some of their very favorites! On behalf of the entire AWF staff, the wrestlers, the officials, Happy Holidays and I will see you next week for more favorite moments in AWF History! Now get the hell out of here so I can start drinking again you deadbeats!

[Viewfind]

Good stuff.



LL: “It’ll certainly be a match to christen Viewfind’s recent house move, which incidentally is still in Philly”.
KK: “Could you imagine him moving anywhere else”?


God lets never talk about that again.

[Galvatron91]

Sorry I haven't gotten the second part up yet, I haven't been feeling all that great. I'll get a second part up sometime this week.

A programming note, Mayhem will be returning on 10 January 2005 on our Canadian Tour!