When great shows do bad things

Cliffjumper · Post by **Cliffjumper** » Sat Sep 11, 2010 1:43 pm

You know it, a TV show you like or - indeed, for this is the 21st century and people don't matter no more - love has a moment of epic fail that makes you want to stab yourself in the ear. The bit you always forget about until you persuade a skeptic to watch. So, what bits really piss you off? For me: -

- Red Dwarf, dancing blue midget. You could just put 7-8 and the student film project in there, because from Rimmer bazookoiding that time machine onwards the whole series is a turd, albeit a strangely compelling one. but that bit stands out for being a bad joke that runs on far too long, backed by special effects that I could probably better.

- Doctor Who, The Green Death. "No, I meant for your time.". Probably the Prime Pertwee Prick moment, astonishingly smug, patronising and completely nonsensical. An old pedo in funny clothes announcing to anyone listening that yes, he is a massive, massive twat, and he's proud of it. Bubbling under is the Melkur peeping around that door in "Keeper of Traken".

The CBBC series I've ignored because I don't particularly like it on the balance (one season and half-a-dozen episodes from four seasons and a never-ending trail of seasonal pantos), and we'd be here all day if I started on that - the Cockney thief, "We still have a sex life", the 9th Doctor being an Auton duplicate, that episode that revolved around celebrities and reality TV shows that no-one really remembers anymore, Martha's skin colour being referenced far too often in case no-one noticed she was black, Huw Edwards, the whole Tate thing, Simon Pegg, farting, belching, shit swearing, the Welsh, etc, etc, etc. Picking just one out of that lot is basically impossible.

- Blake's 7 - the security robot. Why the Hell did they need it, why not just have four bastards with guns? This isn't Buck Rogers, guys. Narrowly beats Soolin's self-intro at the end of "Power", where she sounds like she's reading the filecard off the back of an action figure.

- The Prisoner - all of Once Upon a Time, because it's bollocks, but at the same time fairly important bollocks (you can ignore "Do Not Forsake Me Oh My Darling" and "The Girl Who Was Death").

- Dad's Army - the handful of spiels given out to Private Cheeseman before they realised he wasn't funny.

- The Simpsons, Who Killed Mr. Burns - "I'd like to hear from Sideshow Mel!". Probably a post-modern reference to some Dynasty episode or something. Still very bad.

- Blackadder - probably in a minority of 1 here, but Tom Baker's absolute crap in it, he really is.

And, of course: -

- Buffy - that bit in Prophecy Girl. Suddenly you can see the link to a Luke Perry film.

electro girl · Post by **electro girl** » Sat Sep 11, 2010 2:29 pm

The Simpsons- almost anything past the 9th season.

Monkey Dust- Not as good as I remember it because I remember the 2nd series but own the 1st. This became really apparent when trying to convince my friends it was any good.

Halfshell · Post by **Halfshell** » Sat Sep 11, 2010 2:36 pm

Hah, Lee Cattermole's just been sent off. I'm stunned.

What? Oh, right. One massive benefit of RTD doing the decent thing and committing suicide (or whatever he's done) is that now everything isn't Welsh. Now everything's Scottish.

Er... the MASH clipshows? Uhm... the bulk of Angel season 4 (there was a decent interview with Charisma Carpenter in Gorezone recently where she says she'll be happy if she never sees an episode from it again... and that her favourite season is probably 5, that she's not properly in)... Eternity's still quite fun even if the plot makes no sense, the awful effects in the first five episodes of season 3.

Battlestar Galactica's Plan tv movie. Where "we're going to go back into the timeline and fill in some of the blanks" realises itself in a pretentious vanity project that painstakingly spells out things nobody cared about whilst ignoring the key issues from the time and spending the entire runtime feeling like an extended "previously" segment. I think Black Market is only shit when you actually finish the episode and look back.

I can't really nail this concept. Oh, that shit COPS-lite episode from season 7 of The X-Files, where you realise that after the pure comedy gold of season 6 they just don't know what the hell they're doing anymore. Followed by the Fight Club duplicates episode from the same season.

I try to pretend that Red Dwarf doesn't really exist after the end of series 6. I remember after it aired and all the kids at school (who watched it, which basically equates to the only people willing to talk to me) were quite anxious and worried and eager for more and I was just like "yeah, well they can't die in that way, so it's all alright" and wasn't really bothered if it ever came back.

One of the Fools and Horses specials. Er... A Royal Flush? Where the lack of studio audience / laugh track and a director in a rush adds up to Del coming across as a meanspirited vindictive prick. Any time in OFAH where that guy turns up doing an Aussie accent. Every single second of OFAH after Time On Our Hands.

The awful awful CG Polar Bears in Lost. I'm morbidly intrigued to see how shit they look in stunning HD.

I'll think of one the moment I hit submit.

[EDIT] Oh! Any point in any Joss Whedon-directed anything where he decided to use that ****ing dreadful "dramatic!!!" roundabout shot. **** off. Chosen, Hole in the World. **** did it in Serenity, too.

secretcode · Post by **secretcode** » Sat Sep 11, 2010 3:01 pm

Top Gear: Series 14.

Halfshell · Post by **Halfshell** » Sat Sep 11, 2010 3:04 pm

Yeah, you might need to be more specific. Top Gear is, to the bulk of us, an endless unordered stream of interchangeable repeats.

Rattrap's tail · Post by **Rattrap's tail** » Sat Sep 11, 2010 3:05 pm

LAEM

And of course the last Airbender....

Cliffjumper · Post by **Cliffjumper** » Sat Sep 11, 2010 3:19 pm

I'm deeply hoping Van Damme's goal was some sort of crazy roundhouse kick, I could live with it that way. Or somehow involved jelly.

The more I think about it, the more they actually mount up with Doctor Who - Tegan's air hostess shtick ("I want to speak to the pilot!"), Mike Yates saying "I like your handbag", whatever the **** Tom's failing to do with his eyes in "The Armageddon Factor", "The Armageddon Factor", any bit in Season 17 where the story grinds to a halt while people fire off obvious Hitchhikers jokes, Crayford looking under his eyepatch, "Stubs.. sy... No... Stubbs...y... Mondondie" and so on. I'd just say Season 8, but bypassing the thing has few problems.

Leatherneck and Wetsuit's banter in GI Joe. It's just really irritating.

That typist in the colour Rigg Cybernauts one in the Avengers - actually, most of the bits where they try very hard to be crazy and end up looking like the Mighty ****ing Boosh.

Halfshell · Post by **Halfshell** » Sat Sep 11, 2010 3:25 pm

All I remember about van Damme when he was at Saints is that he couldn't get in the side past pensionable BBC Pundit and occasional full back Graeme Le Saux.

And that he threw a diva fit and refused to play in the Championship. Then left. Yay.

secretcode · Post by **secretcode** » Sat Sep 11, 2010 3:58 pm

Halfshell wrote:Yeah, you might need to be more specific. Top Gear is, to the bulk of us, an endless unordered stream of interchangeable repeats.

Well, the thing I had an issue with it is that they seem to put so much time working on their fake Top Gear characteristics, that you'd think they'd at least be consistent about it. But no, they threw all of that out of the window in Season/Series 14. I'm not even sure what was going on in their heads during that series.

I did love Series 15 though. Brought back the charm of Seasons 7-9 without the bullshit from Seasons 12-14. I wonder how Series 16 will go considering the whole Stig/Ben Collins thing... Last time The Stig's actor did something stupid they launched him off an aircraft carrier.

Halfshell · Post by **Halfshell** » Sat Sep 11, 2010 4:02 pm

I meant you might need to be more specific about which one the hell season 14 is...

secretcode · Post by **secretcode** » Sat Sep 11, 2010 4:07 pm

The one that started last November and ended in Jan 2010. It wasn't worth watching. even to my shit TV standards.

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Sat Sep 11, 2010 5:59 pm

Halfshell wrote: One of the Fools and Horses specials. Er... A Royal Flush? Where the lack of studio audience / laugh track and a director in a rush adds up to Del coming across as a meanspirited vindictive prick. Any time in OFAH where that guy turns up doing an Aussie accent. Every single second of OFAH after Time On Our Hands.

The shows creator agrees with you (about the Royal Flush thing that is, considering he's still milking Horses I guess he's not that bothered by the last three ones...), the DVD release and repeat versions have about half an hour cut out to try and de-prick Del. Of course, that has an excuse, the fact large chunks are cut out of most of the other episodes on shinny disc is piss irritating.

Of the last three I've only ever actually seen the middle one, with the trip to France. Missed the first and the general opinion of it made me not bother to with it, hated the second and thus avoided the third like the plague. Last years prequel thing is apparently alright, but I can't be arsed with it (and it seems to have forgotten Boycie didn't got to school with them, IIRC in the episode where he plays cards with Del he gets introduced to Granddad as someone who's just moved to the area...).

With Doctor Who, any show that's run that long is going to be bursting at the seems with bad moments. I'm going to go with Colin putting on the costume. Because it's in every scene with him for his entire tenure and probably did more to complete screw over his chances of being taken seriously by the public at large than anything else did.

The X-Files: Any moment with Mulder in the last two years and second film.

Deep Space 9: Quark having a sex change for one episode.

24: Any point in season 6 where even the characters are forced to point out what's going on is something that they've already done before. Hamish MacBeth's Oirish accent in the TV film.

Halfshell · Post by **Halfshell** » Sat Sep 11, 2010 6:10 pm

inflatable dalek wrote:Last years prequel thing is apparently alright, but I can't be arsed with it (and it seems to have forgotten Boycie didn't got to school with them, IIRC in the episode where he plays cards with Del he gets introduced to Granddad as someone who's just moved to the area...).

Rock & Chips was decent. And you recall way off the mark as far as Boyce goes. A quick consult with the script book I have makes no allusion to an introduction... and besides, Boyce was in on the school reunion that Slater arranged in series 7. Denzil, on the other hand, moved to the school when he was 13, but I'm not aware of anything to contradict Boycie being in it.

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Sat Sep 11, 2010 6:21 pm

Well...err... apparently the flat has less bedrooms than it would later on. There you go, complete canon breakdown.

Rurudyne · Post by **Rurudyne** » Sat Sep 11, 2010 7:54 pm

Spock's Brain is to season 3 of Star Trek what season 3 of Star Trek is to the first two.

[/shows age]

DrSpengler · Post by **DrSpengler** » Sat Sep 11, 2010 9:18 pm

inflatable dalek wrote:The X-Files: Any moment with Mulder in the last two years and second film.

I actually recall it going south a few years before Mulder got replaced by T-1000, but then again, I haven't given those last few seasons a watch-through since their original airing.

Hard to say just where I'm thinking of, precisely. I think they just started doing too many self-referential comedy relief episodes at once and the series got kinda silly.

Maybe it was the episode where they go to see an X-Files movie being filmed, with Tea Leoni as Sculli?

Or maybe it was that awful Stephen King episode with the evil talking doll?

Ah, I dunno. There was something that made me quit the show well before Duchovney decided to follow my lead.

Chiller's been rerunning the early seasons lately and man, the show was good when it first started...

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Sat Sep 11, 2010 9:36 pm

Season 7 (the last full Duchovney year) is fairly awful on just about every level, but the episodes without him in the last two seasons are, generally, a return to form (despite the ultimately fatal decision to make the program all about Mulder even when he's not there so Patrick never really gets to fully escape from his shadow despite an excellent performance that pisses all over Duchovney) broken up by utter crap ones with him in.

Slayer-Fan123 · Post by **Slayer-Fan123** » Sun Sep 12, 2010 3:26 am

South Park's last good season might have been 10 or something. The last episode to truly make me laugh was The Crips. Brilliant.
Simpsons started to suck after season 10, but we all knew that.

Auntie Slag · Post by **Auntie Slag** » Sun Sep 12, 2010 9:11 am

I saw an excellent Simpsons episode on Channel 4 in the last couple of weeks. It was a new episode, a Treehouse of Horror one; and it felt like it was all done by the writers of the Movie, because there was much more sardonic humour, and it had that feeling of the writers trying to outdo themselves, as opposed to the usual shite crop of recent (as in the last 10 years) Simpsons episode where Homer is stupid for the sake of being stupid.

The episode ended with Mr. Burns head being graphed onto Homer's spine, and they spent the end credits singing 'I've got you under my skin'.

It felt like the old episodes, it was thoroughly bonkers and brilliant. I hope these writers stick around and it wasn't a one-off.

Halfshell · Post by **Halfshell** » Sun Sep 12, 2010 9:15 am

Waitwait.

They're still making The Simpsons??