So I finally saw revenge of the Fallen all the way through

[Jetfire]

.....and it occurs to me is Michael Bay isn't actually interested in the Transformers! Not in the slightest. I actually think it is possible Bay didn't actually know he was filming a Transformers sequel. The Autobot's were mearly added in by the special effects team and the voice actors in post production.

The film starts out promosingly enough, then for an hour leading up to Optimus returning the plot has absolutely zero reference to Transformers and far more interesst in a Military vs generic aliens threat. If I read the script I'm sureit literally has no Transformers references or story to it, there are two retarded gimps, a lot fo army details, a generic sand sucker and Jetfire is mearly a reject from those Johnny Deep Pirates movies, no concidence they were produced by Bay's old boss. I mean 20 minutes from the end they literally pull Sam's parents out of nowhere for literally no reason. I can't even work out how they were logically susposed to be in africa at that point. That even makes no sense after they have a evil killer Robot trying to destroy the earth dry humping Megan Fox's leg and two outright retarded and possibly racist sterotypes gimp out for half the film. Also I'm sure Optimus Prime's return was stolen from Pokemon the movie.

Thank f##k Megan Fox is literally so amazingly hot I would crawl over borken glass just to watch her p##s in a jam jar! I mean the woman is amazing, possible the most perfect female form of all time.

TF2 Tech Specs:

Plot 1/10
Script 2/10
Special effects 5/10
Characters 1/10
Enjoyment 4/10
Direction 2/10

Megan Fox 11/10

Overall 10/10 due to the Fox factor. I hear she gets her boobs out in a film next year nullifying the reason to ever watch this again, so I'll probably revise that down to an overall rating down to 1/10 when that happens.

Who knows maybe Transformers 3 will just be Megan Fox staring at the camera naked, saying I love you big boy. That would be certain to break the billion dollar boxoffice barrier

[Cliffjumper]

I can't even work out how they were logically susposed to be in africa at that point.

You remember the whole bit where Soundwave tracked them to Paris? And then when the Decepticons landed one arrives in front of them? And then Starscream tells Rampage to spring the trap? And Rampage then releases his parents to draw Sam out so the Decepticons can mug him for the Matrix?

RotF isn't perfect by a long chalk, but the amount of perceived plot holes that are caused by people somehow not having the attention span for a Michael Bay film are astonishing.

Wheelie an evil killer alien robot? Curious reading on the character, TBH. Not many evil killers are easily cowed by a human girl with a blowtorch...

[Summerhayes]

I have never seen anyone put so much effort into finding reasons to hate something. Bravo. You're like a racist desperately trying to justify hating Obama after each awesome thing he does.
And I do not drink with racists!

[Jetfire]

You remember the whole bit where Soundwave tracked them to Paris? And then when the Decepticons landed one arrives in front of them? And then Starscream tells Rampage to spring the trap? And Rampage then releases his parents to draw Sam out so the Decepticons can mug him for the Matrix?

RotF isn't perfect by a long chalk, but the amount of perceived plot holes that are caused by people somehow not having the attention span for a Michael Bay film are astonishing.

Maybe nobody watched it because it's absolutely rubbish and pointless? Crap films are rether hard to watch. It's still pointless wank when they turn up at that point in the film. Senseless too. It makes absolutely no sense to do it otehr than it smacks of Michael Bay goinG "Oh yeah, character developement" despite the fact there is Sam screaming at his dad "You ahve to me let go/grow-up" is if his dad had some issues with it where there was no character developement along this line previously at all..

Wheelie an evil killer alien robot? Curious reading on the character, TBH. Not many evil killers are easily cowed by a human girl with a blowtorch...

I'm guessing every killer in the history of the world without a death wish are easily cowed if anybody burns their eye out with a blow torch. He's a decepticon who is on a mission to destroy the world. He then humps her leg because being treated like shit makes you suddleny reverse a trend of a lifetime and become good. This really shouldn't be a point to be defended by anybody and doesn't detract that Michael Bay is far more interested in little details of what the army does for most of the film as well as his retarded characters, especially the "presidential voice" gimp. Most of whom BTW I'm sure are exact copies of his previous films. Those idiots get more screen time than any single Transformer or TF related plot in the movie. I mean devestator balls

[Jetfire]

I have never seen anyone put so much effort into finding reasons to hate something. Bravo. You're like a racist desperately trying to justify hating Obama after each awesome thing he does.
And I do not drink with racists!

There was no effort! It's not like it's the first terrible movie Bay has directed here. If fact his career is characterised by mostly bad films.

And it's nice you don't drink with racists. I'm not sure how that is relevant here.

[Starfield]

You remember the whole bit where Soundwave tracked them to Paris? And then when the Decepticons landed one arrives in front of them? And then Starscream tells Rampage to spring the trap? And Rampage then releases his parents to draw Sam out so the Decepticons can mug him for the Matrix?

RotF isn't perfect by a long chalk, but the amount of perceived plot holes that are caused by people somehow not having the attention span for a Michael Bay film are astonishing.

Most of the Decepticons were shown arriving from space and landing in a meteor impact. The only ones that were shown traveling there were... I believe Megatron and Starscream. Rampage was the one holding his parents hostage, so, did he hop there from Paris, or drive along in bulldozer mode in the time it took Jetfire to teleport there?

Maybe it can be worked out logically somehow, but I won't blame anyone for seeing it as a plot hole.

[Cliffjumper]

Or did Starscream (or even Megatron, if he did retain his 'jet' mode) fly them across and give them to Rampage? Seriously, how much do some people need this sort of thing spelt out to them? How can it be a plot hole if the solution is that obvious? For God's sake, why not stick to the faults that are actually there?

Jets, you're hilarious. If a film's bad, don't watch it. If you had trouble following it, maybe don't try to pick the plot apart, yeh? It's probably not best to bandy around words like 'retarded' when you've been outwitted by the plot of a Michael Bay film...

[Sades]

I really need to watch this film again, just so I can remember what little niggling details about it bugged me so I'll actually have something to say in convos like this one.

Devastator's balls was funny for about three seconds, in an unexpected way. Then it was like, "Wait... what?"

Frenzy (Wheelie? Eh.. who cares. He's Frenzy now.) humping legs was probably the low point. Hell, Frenzy was the low point, I ****ing hate Frenzy. And I don't get the Megan Fox thing, but that's just me. I may not remember a whole lot about the film right now, but I knew this even before I went in- this is not the type of movie you can place very high expectations on or else you're going to come out of it feeling ****ed seven different ways from Tuesday. Anyone who has seen the first one should know that. Hell, anyone who has seen a Bay film should know that this isn't going to be a brilliant exposé on characters we grew up with, nor is it going to have repeated nods or references to a beloved storyline- things are gonna go boom. There's gonna be attempts at making funnee. And there's gonna be eye candy. Oh, and big robots based on characters created in the 80's. That's about as deep or fanpleasing as it gets.

[inflatable dalek]

Or did Starscream (or even Megatron, if he did retain his 'jet' mode) fly them across and give them to Rampage? Seriously, how much do some people need this sort of thing spelt out to them? How can it be a plot hole if the solution is that obvious? For God's sake, why not stick to the faults that are actually there?

Rampage could even have re-assumed his protoform mode in order to get from Paris to Egypt. Switching between the two must be fairly easy considering if the Decepticons had won they'd have needed to make a quick spacebound getaway what with the ultimate result of their sun blowing up plan being the destruction of the planet they're standing on... Not to mention there's one onscreen example of a Transformer instantly teleporting from one continent to another with humans in tow.

EDIT: Anyone object if I merge this with the main reaction thread?

[Summerhayes]

And it's nice you don't drink with racists. I'm not sure how that is relevant here.

Its a Barney quote! Mr. "Suit Up"

and as for effort, what I mean to say is that I can accept that the film is stupid, but no more or less stupid than all the other big cgi action films.

[Cliffjumper]

Don't get me wrong, Wheelie was annoying and the leg-humping bit was a nadir. However, he clearly wasn't particularly evil, more amoral - he kinda reminded me of that Skuxoid or whatever it was that used to do odd jobs for Galvatron in the cartoon. All the talking around he really needed was to be told that he was allowed to change sides, and that was that. If he'd particularly wanted to hurt Mikaela he probably could have done because, y'know, made of sharp metal.

RotF was hugely, hugely flawed, especially between Prime dying and NEST arriving in Egypt, which sags badly. But if people don't like the thing, I don't see why they can't just say they don't like the thing rather than inventing plot holes as some sort of justification. Or back-tracking and saying that "Crap films are rether hard to watch" - don't critique their plots, then.

Kidnapping Sam's parents made perfect sense, as Sam cares for them and it'll draw him out into the open so the Decepticons can get the Matrix fragments off him without risking damaging it (which blowing the **** out of him would most likely have done). It also would have worked if Bumblebee hadn't jumped Rampage. Incidentally, Jets, you're the first person I've seen actually cite that as a plot hole; most people seem to have followed it. Starfield doesn't really count, as he/she seems to believe that the Autobots were wrong when stopping Demolishor from killing civilians in Shanghai...

[Summerhayes]

Starfield doesn't really count, as he/she seems to believe that the Autobots were wrong when stopping Demolishor from killing civilians in Shanghai...

They were. Prime Directive, innit?

[Starfield]

I read the prequel stuff before seeing the movie and enjoyed them. In some ways they helped me enjoy the movie, but there was a huge disconnect between the style and continuity. I liked The Veiled Threat in particular. It was more focused on giant robots and it portrayed the NEST team-up between humans and Autobots a lot better. The humans were given super-weapons so they could hold their own against Decepticons. Some people might not like super-weapons as realistic enough, but they do give a point to having humans around. The book did a good job. They didn't outright kill Decepticons, but did enough damage to give their Autobot teammates an edge.

Also, there were two separate groups of Decepticons operating on Earth with different goals due to the leadership vacuum. There were hints that they might come into conflict with each other. That would have been neat. The only thing that happened, however, was Megatron punched Starscream. Eh. I don't think any of Starscream's Decepticons even made it into the movie, even though I was looking for them. All of the Decepticons seemed to be Soundwave's. Wheelie, Alice, Demolishor.

I also don't think Megan Fox is all that great. GI Joe was better in the female leads category.

[inflatable dalek]

If the spin off's don't connect very well with the movie that#s their fault rather than the films.

[Starfield]

If the spin off's don't connect very well with the movie that#s their fault rather than the films.

Sure, for the most part. Except for late script changes. But I don't expect them to not make a script change for the sake of a prequel novel.

[another tf fan]

It's probably not best to bandy around words like 'retarded' when you've been outwitted by the plot of a Michael Bay film...

and I don't clap for much.

Best bit of prose I read today.

[Blackjack]

If the spin off's don't connect very well with the movie that#s their fault rather than the films.

If the spin-offs can't connect with themselves, it's their fault, not the movies.

I mean, take this example.

Alliance 4: at the end of the comic, Sideswipe, Skids, Mudflap, and Arcee lands, scans alternate modes and goes to Diego Garcia, where Lennox immediately wants to deploy them to Shanghai.

Tales of the Fallen 2: Sideswipe has been on Earth for quite some time and had faced off once against Demolishor.

See what I mean? IDW can't have a concurrent continuity, and none of its movieverse material could be reconciled with, say, Titan comics. Or those novels. (To be fair, Ghosts of Yesterday was utter shite and the Veiled Threat goes all awry with the characters. I mean, Screamer and Soundwave were working together in both movie and IDW comics, and introducing Longarm and Salvage is redundant.)

[Starfield]

If the spin-offs can't connect with themselves, it's their fault, not the movies.

I mean, take this example.

Alliance 4: at the end of the comic, Sideswipe, Skids, Mudflap, and Arcee lands, scans alternate modes and goes to Diego Garcia, where Lennox immediately wants to deploy them to Shanghai.

Tales of the Fallen 2: Sideswipe has been on Earth for quite some time and had faced off once against Demolishor.

Alliance and Defiance are the official movie prequels. It says so on the covers! I guess Tales of the Fallen is unofficial? Just "tales"? Seriously though, I couldn't figure out why IDW chose to basically redo the prequel backstory. Maybe because of the late movie changes, like the Fallen not being in a stone pillar? They should have just continued on the best they could with the story. Then I might have read the post-movie comics.

[another tf fan]

IDW is in so much of a rush to cash in on TRANSFORMERS that the story is secondary.

Too bad as I thought Defiance was a great TF comic.

Really we just need to wait until the movie-verse is donr and then let the current comic company tie it all together.

[CounterPunch]

So I'm rewatching it on DVD (well Bluray) for the first time since the cinema and... I could have sworn the forest fight was longer.... Its a shame that so much technical expertise and money goes in to these fight scenes, as it means they dont last very long.