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TRANSFORMERS TOYS AND MERCHANDISE SECTION

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Transformers Toy Review Archive (older series, 1984 to date)
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Cliffjumper's review: Road Rage

Name: ROAD RAGE
Function: BODYGUARD

"It's ALL offa the FRUNT page, you giff me RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRROAD RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAGE"

Road Rage serves as the bodyguard to Cybertronian ambassador Crosscut. Most of the time. Sadly, because she's a chick, she can't drive well at all, due to her brain constantly wandering and pondering fluffy little kittens, or due to her having PMT. This is the cause of her name, as obviously people are always named after their personality defects. Bit sensitive about your figure? We'll call you Wideload, that won't make you a bloody basket case. Humorous split personality? Let's call you Doublecross, that'll help you get over it. Bit careless? Let's call you Slapdash, that has definitive punning possibilities. Mind, aside from being a mad bitch in car mode, the only thing Road Rage is good at is making tea, and light filing. This is good, because Crosscut's not actually good at much other than drinking tea and filling in forms. Their two lines of work dovetail beautifully, you see. The other thing they share in common is that both are seething pools of anger, as it turns out none of you remember them being in the cartoon. Well, they were - they conducted the negotiations to have Autobot City built, for Primus' sake! Look, they're in the movie. Yeh, that bit. No, not that bit, that bit. Look. You see? No? That's because you missed it. You should pay better attention. They were in the cartoon, though. Honest. Uncle Takara wouldn't lie to you. Come sit on Uncle Takara's lap. That's a good child, Uncle Takara likes good children...

Diaclone > back of box > Holland, I think > eHobby

Road Rage remains the only official Transformer named after an irritating song by Welsh cabaret tossers Catatonia, although Mulder & Scully was registered as a trademark by Hasbro for the Vauxhall Cavalier Alternator in 2004. However, when Vauxhall objected to their designs appearing in the same line as those of direct market rival Yugo, the plan was shelved. The mould was eventually retooled as the Kiss Players figure Marissa Faireborn.

ALTERNATE MODE

Road Rage turns into a red Corvette Stingray. That's quite clever - there's a little-known phrase, "red mist", that people tend to see when they're enraged. So Rage, red. That's seriously smart. Anyway... Despite various drooling from aficionados, I've never been a fan of the Corvette Stingray, it's a cartoony muscle car, with it's bulbous front wheel arches and massive bonnet. It's a phallic substitute of the most blatant kind.

However, Takara have done a respectable job of rendering the thing. Sadly, the vast majority of it is plastic - basically the entire car shell. You'd think this would preclude their usual cock-ups with mismatching tones, but they manage it anyway. And the transparent windscreen/painted brown rear window combo? Tacky. The side doors are stupidly fragile, though aside from that nothing's particularly breakable in this mode. Massive join lines all over it, though.

Reusing the same flame stickers as on Tracks is a bad move as well - I can understand including them as an option for fools who want to delude themselves about owning the ultra-rare '85 TF variant, but an alternative design would have been nice. The originals are such a recognised feature of Tracks that it's even harder to think of Road Rage as a character in her own right.

ROBOT MODE

Road Rage has a very straightforward transformation for a Car Robot - well, not straightforward as in "well-designed and sensible", more as in "quickly becomes boring". There are a few notable weak points - the shoulder joints are very badly covered, while those side panels are still a weakness. Road Rage also lacks much of a sense of balance as well, with thin legs and weak ankles. The whole thing just doesn't look particularly substantial, while the proportions are miles off - the arms are much shorter and thinner than the legs.

The toy also scores in that classic Takara area - totally pointless die cast. The metal shins might serve some sort of purpose as to weight distribution, but if the figure had better proportions, it wouldn't be needed.

In theory, there's a bit of articulation in the arms and the waist. However, it's of no real value - the arms can't be moved in any useful fashion, and putting the elbow joints straight just makes the figure look flat. The waist joint is also useless, as the shape of the figure means the hips end up at unrealistic angles to the body. There's a really stiffness to the design, coupled to the flat aesthetics.

Even with the usual qualifiers attached to the Car Robot figures, this one's a bit of a failure. At least most of the others feel a bit more substantial. The colour scheme isn't really an improvement on Tracks either, and the mould's so flawed you don't really need to own two.

Transformation: 3 - tricky only because the figure is fragile. Not fun at all.
Durability: 3 - several major weak points
Fun: 2 - no fun to transform, no fun to pose.
Price: 1 - if you must get a Corvette Car Robot, just get Tracks.
Overall: 3 - a poor base figure makes this an easy trinket to pass on.
 
 
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