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Transformers Toy Review Archive (older series, 1984 to date)
Robot Mode:
Alternate Mode:
Box Art:

Blackjack's review: Speed Dial 800

Name: Speed Dial 800
Allegiance: Autobot
Function: Surveillance/Annoyance
Alt mode: Flip-up cell phone

Quote: "Connect. Record. Inform"

Ah, the mishaps that are the Real Gear Robots. Itsy bitsy Scout-sized Transformers that transform into kid-sized household objects. Kinda based on G1 Soundwave, Blaster, Reflector, Perceptor and the cassettes. Speed Dial 800 is no expectation to this. Actually possessing a rather good name, Speed Dial is probably based on Glen's Nokia that transformed into an 'itsy bitsy energizer bunny from hell' in the Sector 7 experiment in the 2007 film. Only this one's much simpler. Since Speed Dial 800 is a delusional character at best, he has zilch characterization other than the bio. The bio describes Speed Dial 800 as a surveillance/spy/infiltrator kind of guy (so Speed Dial 007 might suit him better. "The name is Dial. Speed Dial.") that just can't shut up – digitally. He keeps texting his comrades. Kind of a modern day Bluestreak – only he uses text messages.

Speed Dial 800... Well, in my reviews of Spy Shot 6 and Booster x10 I have made it clear I cannot tolerate Transformers with numbers at the end of the name. Especially random numbers. Whatever happened to plain old 'Speed Dial'? If trademark is an issue, then 'Speed Dial 8'. But 800 is much better than some, such as 'Twitcher F451'. Ugh. Henceforth, I knight thee, Speed Dial 800, and thou shalt be knowneth as 'Speedy' in this review.

Speedy has been repainted once as Decepticon Wire Tap v20. Speedy himself is among the first wave of Real Gear Robots, and among this first wave Speedy is one of the two (Power Up is the other one) that didn't have his name tattooed on him somewhere.

Since I hate Real Gears so much, why do I review Speedy, you ask. Well, I coincidentally had this little geek as my first Autobot, buying it after Power Up. Damn.


Alternate Mode:

Speedy transforms into a flip-up cell phone. Cell phone. Whatever. Anyways, this is probably based on the Nokia flip-up phone mutated by the AllSpark in the Movie. Speedy has an Autobot symbol as well as the time – ‘7:47’ – on the mini screen on front of the flip up. Of course, this is the date Transformers the Movie was released. 4th July 2007. After flipping it open, the main screen sports an Autobot symbol as the wallpaper, surrounded by normal Handphone signs including ‘menu’, ‘select’, ‘battery’ etc.

Speedy's keypad is the same, or similar to the basic Nokia cell phone. But there are massive creases in the keypad, where the legs are ‘hidden’.

Overall colouring is dark grey, with lighter grey and light blue for detailing. At the rear of the phone mode is a lens for the camera and a 'key chain' on top. I kid you not. However, the rear plate is covered with indentations. This ruins the whole 'sleek cell phone Transformer' thing. There are volume button mock-ups on the sides though.

It's about the size of a big cell phone. That's it. No action features, no attack modes, no cute little cameos, no movement... Bor-ing.


Robot Mode:

Ok... The transformation is freaky. The keypad splits up forming the legs and body. Then, pull out the hands. After that, turn the whole screen until the camera lens faces the front, and open the face shield. Da! Robot mode.

Not at all the spidery creature with a mini-minigun in the movie. This guy is waaaay too Playskool.

The feet are plain, not too detailed. The arms are too short and small, but must receive some credit for having pincer hands. Actually resembles the hands of a G1 Wheeljack toy. If you squint. The chest is made of the top part of the keypad (above the numpad).

The face... Oh the face... Is the camera lens. Like Swindle. And Payload. And Dreadwing. And Overcast. And Camshaft. Honestly? I don't mind lens heads. But it does mean lens heads are little mindless drones. Haha! At least Speedy has a silver mouth underneath. Stock photos are mistransformed, with the faceplate covering the mouth.

No tiny guns, no little swords (or forks), not even construction tools. Boo. Boooo. BOOOOOOOO!


Marks out of ten for the following:

Transformation: 2 – Whaddya expect? Easier than a Minibot.
Durability: 7 – Oh, he is durable. I tried to break him, but damn ball joints allow him to snap back together again.
Fun: 2 – Speedy is no fun at all. No weaponry, no special skills (i.e. Meantime, Longview), you can't pretend he's an older Transformer (i.e. Spy Shot, Booster), boring...
Price: 2 – Trust me, he's not worth it.
Overall: 5 – If it weren't for the unusual alt mode, Speedy won't sell. If it weren't for sentimental value, I wouldn't have kept him. Kids like the 'cute' (BLEEARGH) robot but for us more *ahem* mature collectors, it sucks.
 
 
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