Keeping younger siblings out of trouble

Post by **inflatable dalek** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 2:17 pm

Originally posted by Clogs
Girls do mature faster than boys

I remeber at high school, when I was a mere whippersnapper of 16 or so, many of the skankier girls in my year had boyfriends in their mid-twenties.

The kind view of this was that girls mature mentally faster than boys and want a boyfriend who's on the same level.

My view of this was that girls are shallow and like boys with a car and regular income who'll buy them nice things in exchange for oral sex.

Not that I'm bitter or anything...

Post by **Hound** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 4:59 pm

Originally posted by inflatable dalek
Not that I'm bitter or anything...

Not that you're wrong or anything...

I wasn't aware there was evidence that girls were maturing mentally faster than boys. Any truth to that?

I recall mentally maturing much faster than any of the girls I knew.

Having grown up with a sister my view is this. Girls like to pretend they're more mature than they are. In fact, it seems to me that they find it ultimately important to be older than they actually are for a great amount of their adolescence. I've never found the maturity in trying to be what aren't.

CounterPunch · Post by **CounterPunch** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 5:07 pm

Originally posted by inflatable dalek
I remeber at high school, when I was a mere whippersnapper of 16 or so, many of the skankier girls in my year had boyfriends in their mid-twenties.

The kind view of this was that girls mature mentally faster than boys and want a boyfriend who's on the same level.

My view of this was that girls are shallow and like boys with a car and regular income who'll buy them nice things in exchange for oral sex.

Not that I'm bitter or anything...

Your second reason is my choice, girls dont like having boyfriends in their 20s cos of maturity, its because its "cooler" to have someone like that. None of the girls I know in that position are mature at all, they just like saying "Yeah I was havin sex with my 22 year old boyfriend for like 5 hours last night, hes so experienced, better than 16 year olds"

Sixswitch · Post by **Sixswitch** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 5:36 pm

Originally posted by Hound

Having grown up with a sister my view is this. Girls like to pretend they're more mature than they are. In fact, it seems to me that they find it ultimately important to be older than they actually are for a great amount of their adolescence. I've never found the maturity in trying to be what aren't.

I have to say that this is my experience too. Except for the having a sister bit.

-Ss

Sociopathic Autobot · Post by **Sociopathic Autobot** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 5:46 pm

Originally posted by Clogs
Girls do mature faster than boys,

Bold faced lie. Little shock it actually came from a girl. I have NEVER met a girl the same age as me who is any more mature. Most girls my age are still busy trying to figure the same things I am. Some are even a few years behind. Girls do not mature faster. Infact, in cases like this one they will mature slower because they will miss out on a few lessons they learn by dating people their own age and going slowly.

Originally posted by Clogs
and society has increased the pressure on them to use this gain to get into adult behaviour earlier than is legal.

No it doesn't. They just want to get there earlier because they think they're more mature. This is a gigantic sign of immaturity and something I suffered from a great deal. Thinking you're older than you are because you think you're more mature than you are. Most girls don't snap out of this until their early twenties.

Originally posted by Clogs
She won't see it as wrong - she's got plenty of evidence from mags and her peer group to prove that it can't be wrong.

This is the nail in the coffin for that whole "Girls mature faster thing." If they were mature peer-pressure would be moot, and her sense of right and wrong in this situation would be stronger.

There are cases of women being more mature, however there are examples of men being more mature. It has nothing to do with gender, just how quickly you learn about life as you grow up.

Clogs · Post by **Clogs** » Mon Sep 25, 2006 10:18 pm

Can't escape the biological fact that girls do mature physically a bit earlier than boys. That's what I'm getting at. Then there are external pressures on them to act all grown-up to go with the boobs; I can remember back in the mists of time when I was fourteen and several girls were going out with older lads/men because it made them feel grown-up compared to the rest of us.I have worked in schools over the past few years and met girls with this same attitude.

Have to say, in all fairness, that considerably more of the age 14 to 16 girls I met recently are giggling little fairies, interested in posh clothes and make-up, and would follow an older male if he took interest in them. There was no way to tell them that their mock adult behaviour could lead them into trouble, because they simply were too self-indulgent.

Alpha Trion · Post by **Alpha Trion** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 12:33 am

Originally posted by Hound
Having grown up with a sister my view is this. Girls like to pretend they're more mature than they are. In fact, it seems to me that they find it ultimately important to be older than they actually are for a great amount of their adolescence. I've never found the maturity in trying to be what aren't.

Indeed. My sister is no more mature than anyone else her age, but you'll never convine her of that.

Today she was supposed to be home from school around 3:30. Nobody heard from her until 8:00, when she called to say she'd been with a few girls. This is almost certainly a lie. Looks like I might have to start picking her up from school.

Sociopathic Autobot · Post by **Sociopathic Autobot** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 2:16 am

Originally posted by Clogs
Can't escape the biological fact that girls do mature physically a bit earlier than boys.

Unless sex-ed has had a major revamp in six years, I doubt it. Boys hit puberty sooner. The effects, however, are not as visible since men do not grow tits.

Post by **Hound** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 2:32 am

Originally posted by Sociopathic Autobot
Unless sex-ed has had a major revamp in six years, I doubt it. Boys hit puberty sooner. The effects, however, are not as visible since men do not grow tits.

I seem to remember it being the other way around. Of course high school health class was many, many years ago...

No matter, maturing physically is not the same as maturing mentally anyway and I don't think there's any significant difference in the rate at which the two sexes mature mentally.

"insert name here" · Post by **"insert name here"** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 2:48 am

have you tried just being supportive and talking to her? Often as siblings we don't like what our brothers/sisters do, but it's not up to us to discipline them. Be honest with her, explain why your worried, treat her like the adult she wants to be, explain the risks and consequences. At least then she can make fully informed decisions, and if she still makes the wrong choice, maybe she just needed to experiance it for herself. Just don't say I told you so if it all goes wrong for her.

Alpha Trion · Post by **Alpha Trion** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:45 am

Alright, well, after being told she's grounded from phone and computer for being gone all day without a phone call, she exploded with rage, saying the pervert we all hope she didn't spend the day with is "one of the only people she can talk to." Our mother tried to explain to her that older guys like him seem supportive and nice but it's their way of grooming young girls, which led to my sister demanding that our mom kill herself. I told her to stop screaming at her mother and I ended up bleeding. THis is getting a little too intense.

Post by **Hound** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 4:25 am

"I wish you were dead!!" A bit cliched that one...

People say and do many things they don't actually mean when they're looking to lash out and just hurt the people they love.

I wouldn't get too overly upset about that, she'll calm down at some point and that's the more appropriate time to try talking some sense into her.

If you come at her with threats all she's going to feel is threatened...

CounterPunch · Post by **CounterPunch** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 9:40 am

Originally posted by Hound
"I wish you were dead!!" A bit cliched that one...

People say and do many things they don't actually mean when they're looking to lash out and just hurt the people they love.

I wouldn't get too overly upset about that, she'll calm down at some point and that's the more appropriate time to try talking some sense into her.

Definitely, my older brother shouted "drop dead" to my father 2 months ago, knowing full well my father is suffering from terminal cancer. Was it a bad thing to do? One of the worst things I've ever heard someone say, but did he mean it? No he was angry and lashing out

The prob with the situation youre in is youre worried this guy is grooming her, he may be, but you dont know it for definite, so the whole time you tell your sister he IS grooming her shes going to lash out because youre insulting someone she holds dear.

RID Scourge · Post by **RID Scourge** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 1:48 pm

Originally posted by CounterPunch
The prob with the situation youre in is youre worried this guy is grooming her, he may be, but you dont know it for definite,

Oh, he most definitely is. Any guy, who's got a lick of sense in his head, knows that hanging around underage girls is trouble, so unless they're down for that kind of trouble, they're not going to hang out with them.

CounterPunch · Post by **CounterPunch** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 2:02 pm

Originally posted by RID Scourge
Oh, he most definitely is. Any guy, who's got a lick of sense in his head, knows that hanging around underage girls is trouble, so unless they're down for that kind of trouble, they're not going to hang out with them.

All I'm saying is to be careful, while Trion and his family may be 100% certain hes grooming her there isnt any proof, and until she gets shown proof or something happens then she isnt going to believe this guy is like that, and telling her to stay away because he DEFINITELY IS like that will just push her closer to him.

Post by **Denyer** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 2:51 pm

Originally posted by RID Scourge
Oh, he most definitely is. Any guy, who's got a lick of sense in his head, knows that hanging around underage girls is trouble, so unless they're down for that kind of trouble, they're not going to hang out with them.

The average person isn't going to leave a pub because a bunch of kids walked in, and lots of younger teens go along to watch live music evenings, talk to the bands, etc. Leastways that's the status quo here, assuming it hasn't changed since we were at college.

Dating / setting up for sex? Problem. Hanging out with? Insofar as the kids tend to pick up bad habits.

RID Scourge · Post by **RID Scourge** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:11 pm

Originally posted by Denyer
The average person isn't going to leave a pub because a bunch of kids walked in, and lots of younger teens go along to watch live music evenings, talk to the bands, etc. Leastways that's the status quo here, assuming it hasn't changed since we were at college.

Ah. Around here, the law is so tight that most places won't let you in the door unless you're 18, and if you're over 21, they make you weara neon pink/green, paper bracelet of some sort. That way, they know they can sell alcohol to you. If they get caught selling to minors, they get shut down, especially around the college areas of town.

CounterPunch · Post by **CounterPunch** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:29 pm

Originally posted by RID Scourge
Ah. Around here, the law is so tight that most places won't let you in the door unless you're 18, and if you're over 21, they make you weara neon pink/green, paper bracelet of some sort. That way, they know they can sell alcohol to you. If they get caught selling to minors, they get shut down, especially around the college areas of town.

Thats not like it here, I've been mixing with people who are in their 20s since my early teens, through going to gigs and stuff, when I was 13 or so me and a bunch of 4 friends (2 girls and 2 guys) went to London with a band from my area who were mates and whos average age was 25 to see them play. Was that stupid? Yeah maybe, but I was a young and naive kid back then who wanted to go to London to see a mates band play, and the band, well they didnt see anything wrong with it, we were the ones that wanted to go, they just liked the thought of people willing to travel to see them.

Post by **Denyer** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 4:43 pm

Originally posted by RID Scourge
if you're over 21, they make you weara neon pink/green, paper bracelet of some sort.

We just rely on the barstaff to not be dense, though fake ID's easy to come by >18 if you do want a pint and don't look old enough or can't bluff.

If kids are going to get wasted, it'll be somewhere else with booze got from supermarkets and off-licenses, or in nightclubs. In pubs anyone drinking underage has to not piss off the regulars or the owners; it's a pretty good way of learning discretion and the social value "don't bother us and we won't bother you."

Lord Zarak · Post by **Lord Zarak** » Tue Sep 26, 2006 4:53 pm

Originally posted by Denyer
In pubs anyone drinking underage has to not piss off the regulars or the owners; it's a pretty good way of learning discretion and the social value "don't bother us and we won't bother you."

Tis what happened with me, and no-one ever said anything to us. We just had a couple of quiet pints, played pool or watched the football.