TFARCHIVE FORUMS

Also bad puns:



Because I'm at lunch and bored and I've been procrastinating all day. Four hours and 42 minutes left in my day . . .

Kraken is in level 2. First you've got to beat the Black Pudding:

http://www.mobygames.com/images/shots/o ... 651-08.png (copy paste)

It would be helpful if you familiarized yourself with dark matter and the Plumb Pudding model of the atom.

All in all, I think there's a lesson to be learned in all this, and that would be that smoking enough cigarettes to make the back of your throat feel like it's covered in soot, the next morning, is ill-advised. Yeah, smoked five in a row because I was feeling kinda bummed. On the upside, I'm eerily calm, today. Maybe I should just carry around a nicotine IV, or something . . .

Any of you smokers know how I could fix that. I keep coughing, like I have a cold or something. Maybe cough drops or mints? I've done it before, and I know it goes away with time, but if there's a quicker remedy, then any and all advice is much appreciated.

Onto more serious matters...

ah, what am I saying...spam away.

**Best e-mail forward I ever received**

I Like Monkeys

The pet store was selling them for five cents a piece. I thought this was odd since they were normally a couple thousand. I decided not to look a gift horse in the mouth so I bought 200 of them. I like monkeys.

I took my 200 monkeys home. I have a big car. I let one of them drive. His name was Sigmund. He was retarded. In fact, none of them were really bright. They kept punching themselves in the genitals. I laughed. They punched me in the genitals.

I stopped laughing.

I herded them into my room. They didn't adapt very well to their new environment. They would screech and hurl themselves off the couch at high speeds and slam into the wall. Although humorous at first, the spectacle lost its novelty halfway into it's third hour.

Two hours later I found out why all the monkeys were so inexpensive; they all died. No apparent reason. They all just sort of dropped dead. Kinda like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Stupid cheap monkeys.

I didn't know what to do. There were 200 dead monkeys lying all over my room; on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase. It looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I tried to flush one down the toilet. It didn't work. It got stuck. Then I had one dead, wet monkey and one hundred ninety-nine dead, dry monkeys.

I tried to pretend that they were just stuffed animals. That worked for a while, that is until they began to decompose. It started to smell real bad.

I had to pee but there was a dead monkey in my toilet and I didn't want to call a plumber. I was too embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them. Unfortunately there was only enough room for two at a time, so I had to change them every 30 seconds. I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it didn't go bad.

I tried to burn them, but little did I know that my bed was flammable. I had to extinguish the fire.

Then I had one dead, wet monkey in my toilet, two dead, frozen monkeys in my freezer, and one hundred ninety-seven dead, charred monkeys in a pile on my bed, The odor wasn't improving.

I became agitated at my inability to dispose of the dead monkeys and I really had to use the bathroom. So I went and severely beat one of the monkeys. I felt better.

I tried throwing them away but the garbage man said the city was not allowed to dispose of charred primates. I told him I had a wet one. He couldn't take it either. I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution. I gave them out as Christmas gifts. My friends didn't quite know what to say. They pretended to like them, but I could tell they were lying. Ingrates. So I punched them in the genitals.

I Like Monkeys

This is a chain letter.....now that you have read it, you will have been hexed with bad luck in everything you do until you forward this to 10 people you know. After 10 days, you will have permanent bad luck forever.

If you do forward this to 10 people in ten days then you will have good luck in life for the next year.

Scenario 1--Alex McNealy, a student from Yankton SD got this mail and thought nothing of it. He simply deleted it. Ten days later, his girlfriend was in a fatal car accident that nearly killed him too. Not only that, but the blood he received in the transfusion was infected with salmonella.

Scenario 2--Korey Dampenhousse, a graduate student from NYC received this letter and immediately forwarded to 20 people he knew. the next day, he received a promotion at work and got a date with the secretary he had been eyeing.

So you see, forwarding this would be a good idea. You have been warned.

Originally posted by zigzagger

Galileo's tower argument:



edit: making the picture in black and white sure turned out to be pointless (Photobucket's at fault).

Creature with misplaced horns:



Handsome devil:

Well done, Superman! You've saved the world once again!

[Insert Hostess Fruit Pie reference here]