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Hi, I'm a new member and I wanted to share my fanfiction with everyone.


I sincerely hope you enjoy.




Edit: Much has changed since I last posted here. I've deleted my original story The Golden Age of Cybertron: The Prequel, and have replaced it with my new series:

Series: Rise of the Decepticons
Decepticon-centric, self-contained episodes. Set on Cybertron before the Great Wars.

Episode 0: Prequel - Origins:
In this pilot episode, we discover how and why the Decepticons came into being.
Read at FanFiction.net or Lexicon

good good good

Your timing is excellent. I really like the way you explain things after you've said them. More than once I re-read a passage out of confusion only to find the answer in the next sentence, but it never gets frustrating. nicely done.

On top of that, the layout and the way you handle parallel intrigues are most gracefully done and neatly woven.

I do get the impression that you could gain from asserting yourself more. It shows more in the opening paragraphs than when you get into the swing of things, but there are an awful lot of "perhaps" and "possiblies" which go against your credibility, especially when you're talking about the council of the wisest and most influencial transformers on cybertron...

I sometimes felt you were holding back at various points. Taking some flights of fancy would fatten up the story and give the reader something to chew on. A phat beat, like.

Technically... I mean, in a technical sense, it's really, really good. I feel you should be a bit bolder in your assertions, but that should come naturally given time. Just allow your self to drown in the azur waters of litturature, embrace the rapture of newborn language, lovingly play in the ether of words, make love to... [that's quite enough -ed]


... wha ?.. erm... I need some coffee.

Thank you slartibartfast for reading and commenting on my story.

Edit: I have since reworked the entire series. I have renamed it and the first episode (pilot) is now available to read at the links above.

Episode 1 is now available to read.

Rise of the Decepticons - Episode 1: The Nemesis Army Part 1

Links:
FF.net
Lexicon

Summary: Heroic Decepticons AU. Episode 1 in series: Rise of the Decepticons, Part 1 of 3.
Sentinel Prime takes a promising student under his wing, while Lord Straxus sends his new army to invade Iacon.

Word count: ~20k
Status: Complete
Genre: Action/Adventure

Episode 2 now online!

Rise of the Decepticons - Episode 2: The Nemesis Army Part 2

Links:
FF.net
Lexicon

Summary: Heroic Decepticons AU. Episode 2 in series: Rise of the Decepticons, Part 2 of 3.
As the battle to save Iacon continues, the Decepticons discover how the Nemesis Army was created.

Word count: ~21k
Status: Complete
Genre: Action/Adventure

Rise of the Decepticons - Episode 3: The Nemesis Army Part 3

Links:
FF.net
Lexicon

Summary: Heroic Decepticons AU. Episode 3 in series: Rise of the Decepticons, Part 3 of 3. The conclusion of The Nemesis Army.
Now in control of the Nemesis Army, Nemesis Prime is determined to fulfil his destiny and rule Cybertron.

Word count: ~22.5k
Status: Complete
Genre: Adventure/Friendship

Sounds great.

Rise of the Decepticons - Episode 4: Return of the Stunticons

Links:
FF.net
Lexicon

Summary: Heroic Decepticons AU. Episode 4 in series: Rise of the Decepticons. Motormaster returns to lead the Stunticons after Blackjack betrays the Decepticons.

Word count: ~21.5k
Status: Complete
Genre: Adventure/Friendship

That sounds fun to read.

Rise of the Decepticons - Episode 5: Imbalance of Power

Links:
FF.net
Lexicon

Summary: Heroic Decepticons AU. Episode 5 in series: Rise of the Decepticons. The Decepticons are determined to prevent a planetwide shutdown due to an energy crisis.

Word count: ~22k
Status: Complete
Genre: General/Sci-fi