THE TRANSFORMERS: COMICS, BOOKS AND MANGA

Synopsis: It's been two years since the Autobots left Earth, but now GIJoe have tracked the use of Cybertronian technology in weapons to a biker gang named the Dreadnoks, part of the reforming Cobra. Cobra Commander meets Destro, and reveals he has Starscream under his control. He wants to steal a wormhole system from Cybertron by hacking into Teletran 3. However, Chuckles has observed the meeting and informs GIJoe of their plan. On Cybertron, the Autobots are fighting a resistance battle against the planet's Decepticon rulers. On Earth, a GIJoe assault team takes a Cobra facility, but inadvertantly triggers a teleportation device that lands them on Cybertron, along with the Cobra personnel and Starscream. It interferes with Teletran 3, transporting several Transformers away. just then Shockwave arrives, but Ultra Magnus is able to plant a shield generator around the computer. Perceptor deduces that Teletran 3 has, in fact, scattered several Transformers across Earth's history, which could have massive implications for the universe if they're not returned to their proper space and time. Perceptor gives them locator devices, which will also restore the Transformers. The Joes and Cobra split into four groups, and set off to find them. Lady Jaye, Zartan, Snake-Eyes and Stormshadow are sent to San Francisco in the mid-1970s, and soon find and recover Jazz and Bumblebee. After a car chase, they find Hot Rod and Blitzwing too, before being returned to Cybertron. Meanwhile, the Baronness, Roadblock, Beachhead and a Cobra Trooper have been sent to 1930s Chicago.

Notes: Starscream escaped along with Cobra Commander in Vol. 1 #6. Jazz, Bumblebee and Hot Rod are all reformatted as period cars, while Blitzwing becomes a Learjet.

Transformers featured [in rough order of appearance]: Starscream, Optimus Prime, Jazz, Ironhide, Thrust, Dirge, Ramjet, Shockwave, Ultra Magnus, Scourge, Cyclonus, Wheeljack, Perceptor, Bumblebee, Hot Rod, Blitzwing.

Notable Others: Beachhead, Scarlett, Stalker, Spirit, Jinx, Gung-Ho, Bazooka, Roadblock, Snake-Eyes, Cobra Commander, Destro, Chuckles, Barbecue, Lady Jaye, Stormshadow, Zartan, Dr Mindbender, Dusty, Shipwreck, Sci-Fi, Tomax, Xamot.

Review: Utter trash. A puerile storyline that reads like a schoolboy's fanfic. The plot's not only brain-damagingly obvious, but seems to be designed entirely to shoehorn Transformers into some very poor character models. It's very Joe-centric, and the characterisation is thin and irritating. While not as fanboyish as the nonsense Blaylock hawked last year, it's still not remotely good.

Synopsis: In 1930s Chicago, the Cobra trooper freaks out, while the Baroness and Beachhead argue about what to do. They manage to locate and awaken Optimus Prime. Back on Cybertron, Magnus' forcefield is beginning to collapse, with just six hours until the Decepticons can get in. Back in Chicago, Optimus and the humans track down four more Transformers. However, they turn out to be the Stunticons Breakdown, Dragstrip, Wildrider and Dead End, who attack them. The chase brings them across Motormaster, and after reactivating him are taken back to Cybertron. Elsewhere, Dr Mindbender, Xamot, Tomax, Barbecue and Spirit have been sent to a dystopian future Earth.

Notes: Optimus Prime and Motormaster take the form of 1930s trucks, with the smaller Stunticons being period cars.

Transformers featured [in rough order of appearance]: Optimus Prime, Ratbat, Soundwave, Frenzy, Ravage, Octane, Sixshot, Divebomb, Kickback, Starscream, Blitzwing, Ultra Magnus, Perceptor, Jazz, Bumblebee, Hot Rod, Breakdown, Dragstrip, Wildrider, Dead End, Motormaster.

Notable Others: The Baroness, some Cobra Commander, Roadblock, Beachhead, Stalker, Stormshadow, Lady Jaye, Spirit, Tomax, Xamot, Dr Mindbender, Barbecue.

Review: More pointless dirge. The Chicago plot is hugely uninteresting, with the Cobra trooper a particularly limp attempt at comic relief. As for that Miles Davis stuff... sorry Dan, Back to the Future did the closest thing to a joke in your wetbrained script twenty years ago. Christ, this was beaten to the punch by Goodnight Sweetheart. God, even the Baroness isn't good value in this tripe.